father-daughter dance dilemma...?

Question

I was raised by my mother, and just recently got in contact with my father, after nearly 15 years of nothing. i'm still not sure if i even want to invite him, so is it a wedding faux pas if i eliminate the father/daughter, mother/son dance entirely? i mean, i could dance with my fiance's father, because he's pretty much the only REAL father figure i have, but i'm not sure. maybe i could dance with my grandfather?

any advice?

right now, i haven't decided if i'm walking down the aisle by myself or asking my grandfather. he's literally the only man that's been there my whole life, so he means a lot to me. and being one of 3 grandchildren, i know it would mean a lot to him, dancing, walking down the aisle with me, or otherwise.

Answer 1

Have your grandfather walk you down the aisle...what a wonderful gesture.

I would eliminate the father/daughter dance if it makes you uncomfortable for your father to be there but not participating. Otherwise, dancing with your grandfather would be perfectly appropriate. Good luck!

Answer 2

if you dont want to do the dance then you dont have to. its not a reqirement and inviting your father is up to you. if you want him there then go for it. if you dont then dont, but I would invite him. obviously if your in contact with him then you want to try and establish some kind of relationship. this is one of those situations where you either have to accept the past and try and have a future or not accept the past and not be in contact with him. you cant rub it in his face that he wasnt there for you, but still want a relationship with him (not saying you are doing this at all...just trying to make a point) if you do however invite him and do plan to dance with your grandfather and have him walk you then I would make that known ot your father ahead of time just so he doesnt feel hurt (even though you probably feel hurt from 15 years of not having him...this is once again an accept and move on kinda thing) just let him know how it is...you wanna dance with grandpa because he's been there for everything and it would mean alot to both of you to have that dance. I however wouldnt dance with my father-in-law as a father/daughter dance in front of my real dad...that may really hurt him. good luck though...and you can still dance with your real father at the wedding...it doesnt have to be alone as a father/daughter dance...it can be anytime throughout the night. but the mans already missed 15 years of your life...dont make him miss this too.

Answer 3

You can eliminate it, or dance with your grandfather. My father had died two years before my wedding, and I asked my older brother to do that dance with me. Big mistake! Wish I hadn't done that, rather would have left it out. My mom came and got me for a dance later in the evening, and that was really cool, so MAKE SURE you do that!
For walking down the aisle, it would be fine to have your grandfather. For me, my mom had said no when I asked her, and there was no one else I wanted to ask. I didn't want to walk alone, so my husband and I walked down the aisle together, and had the attendants walk down in pairs before us. It was great.
Good luck with the wedding!

Answer 4

he hasn't been a father for 15 years of your life.

you can dance with your grandfather if you wish, or take out the mother/son, father/daughter dance altogether.

and I would ask the grandfather to walk you down the aisle. HE's been there for you.

Answer 5

I was just at a wedding in which my best friend never knew her father so she elliminated the father daughter dance completely. Truthfully no one will ever realize untill way after the wedding that the father daughter dance wasn't there. My other friend was very close to her grandfather so she decided to have the father daughter dance with him because she never knew her father. It worked perfectly and they were both happy.

Answer 6

Dont feel obligated to ask your father after all he wasnt a part of your life for a long time. If you feel comfortable asking your grandfather go right ahead. It's your day do what you feel is right. I didnt have a father/daughter dance because I'm close with both my biological and step father and I didnt want to have any dilema or dramas.

Answer 7

I think if you are going to invite him and dance that dance with someone else it will be very hurtful. Either dont invite him and dance with the male figure you are closest too, or invite him and eliminate those dances if you really dont want to dance with him. Or take the chance and do the dance and maybe it will give you some special meaning later in life.

Answer 8

You can do whatever you want...many people don't even have dancing...but I'm sure your grandfather would be honored to either walk you down the aisle or dance with you.

Answer 9

if you don't invite your dad, you should dance with your grandpa..

if you do invite your dad.. then you might consider eliminating it, because even though he hasn't been around, his feelings will probably be hurt if you don't dance with him.. not that he deserves to not get them hurt for not being there!! but i mean he's probably trying to make an effort now right??

you should invite him though.. it's never going to happen again (hopefully!!) and your wedding is something he won't want to miss!!

if you do decide to dance with someone else for that dance, try to include your dad in another way!! or maybe dance first with your grandpa or dad and then dance with the other person during that dance?? i don't know, but i'm sure it will all work out!! good luck..

Answer 10

If this were me, I would skip the father-daughter dance all together, BUT I would still keep the Mother-son dance in for your fiance and his mom, it will be a nice moment for both of them and I am sure she has dreamed about dancing with her son for a long time, dont take that away from the both of them by eleiminating their dance just to keep things even. OR how about you dance with your mom? I've seen that before and its always great.