I have a boyfriend that has cheated in the past and i Believe that he is cheating now. I just cant prove it! I am tired of being with him because I shouldnt have to watch my boyfriend as if he were my child. In my mind I wish I could do him like he did me make him feel what I felt but I cant. Everyday I think of what I want in a guy and its clearly not him. I am thinking of a dream guy that at this point doesnt exist. Even when I'm with him I think about how it would be if I wasnt. Could I be cheating with my mind pulling myself away from a guy that I've been with for so long. I just cant get over the past and have found myself in a relationship that I a scared to get out of because I havent found anything better.
2007-05-08 08:07:14 · 47 answers · asked by spoken 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you think you are cheating,.......you probally are.
2007-05-08 08:11:03 · answer #1 · answered by hasdad62 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you stay in a relationship that you have insecurities about. Unfortunately, because he's cheated it would take a lot between the two of you to make it work, and those types of wounds don't heal. The good news is you're not married, and life is too short to worry yourself over your b/f's past relationship habits. Ask yourself why you might be afraid of getting out of the relationship? Is he abusive? Or do you not want to be alone? If you don't want to be alone, it's really not so bad. There is so much more you can do as a single person without relationship baggage. Have fun, go out, travel, find something you love to do. You'd be surprised that while you are busy not paying attention to wanting a companion, you end up finding the love of your life. I swear that's what happened to me.....and now I'm getting married two years later! Life's great, try to enjoy it. Someone's out there for everyone.
2007-05-08 08:19:53 · answer #2 · answered by Button 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last sentence worries me"you haven't found anyone better". It seems that you have a low self esteem otherwise you would not stay with this guy.He is cheating on you!!!
Are you living with him and can't make it on your own and are waiting for a knight in shining armor to rescue you?
To answer your question, yes you could be subconsciously getting ready to leave and that would be the best thing for you.
Before you get into another relationship work on liking yourself. Know that you deserve better. Take the time alone to reflect and learn.
I am not judging or speaking harshly to you because I am doing the very same right now.
And I'm 52!! Now that's scary. I have always gone from one relationship to another for fear of being alone and low self esteem. It took a swift kick in my pants from my best girlfriend to open my eyes and see the pattern.
I don't want you to do the same and waste your youth on losers.
Respect yourself first sweetie. It's scary and exciting at the same time wondering what lies around the corner. Be strong and good luck.
2007-05-08 08:27:48 · answer #3 · answered by gabeymac♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't call it cheating, since it is only in your mind. If you can see that this guy is clearly not him, then that is a good sign that you be with someone else. Dont u think? If you dont trust him, and cant trust him, then you really dont need him. You seem too nice to be treated so badly. If my hubby had done those things, he would have already been gone. Cuz once you lose trust, you lose everything. Break up with him, and find someone new. Life is way too short to be wasting it with someone you know that you can't have a real life committment with. Leave him, and get a guy that you don't have to baby-sit 24/7!
2007-05-08 08:14:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not cheating, besides that is not what you need to be worryed about.what you should be worryed about is your happieness. If you are not happy with a guy then you need to get out of the relationship. You arent marryed just leave him. I know it will be hard becuase of all the time you have spent with him but your happieness is so much more important. There are really wonderfull guys out there if thats what you are worryed about I havent found one to date but I know my Dad is one and thats what gives me hope to find someone who is sweet, fun to be with, and doesnt cheat. I also know I am young and havent had time to find someone that perfect.
I was dating this guy and I started feeling well just plain tired of him these feelings started about saturday, sunday and I keept feeling this way. untill on tuesday I found out he had cheated on me on friday. Then I realized that I had started feeling this way because he was feeling uneasy around me because he knew what he had done. I dumped that boy so fast in made his head spin.
You need to do the same. Even if he isnt cheating if you aren't happy it is time to say goodbye. Dont let the fear of being single keep you from not dumping him. because that is crazy you do not need a man.
just say I think you are very sweet but I am starting to feel distant from you and I think we need to at least take a break from each other for a while. Or you could say I dont feel like dating anyone right now and I think we should take a break. Or it doesnt feel the same around you like it did when we started going out and I think we should see other people.Or I think we would have more fun if we saw other people.
Or if you know for sure he cheated just say I want a guy who will respect me and when you did that to me you did not respect me.
I really hope your happy with whatever you deciede!!!!
2007-05-08 08:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by island gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not cheating, and doing so is not the answer. Want to know what the answer is? Get rid of the loser... anyone that cheats on anyone doesn't deserve a second chance. They didn't have enough love and respect for you to begin with or they wouldn't have cheated... and trust me, they'll stray again. Stop beating up yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. Close this chapter so you can open a new door with perhaps a better opportunity, as long as your tied up with this loser you wont' know what you're missing. Best of luck to you. :-)
2007-05-08 08:13:18 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you stupid?
Now that's the question you should have asked. If you aren't happy why the heck are you with him? No brainer to me. Don't give me that, "I haven't found anything better crap!" Sometimes being alone is the best thing. Looks like you need a relationship break rather than jumping into another. Lose him and get your head right.
2007-05-08 08:12:40 · answer #7 · answered by Veritas et Aequitas () 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your not cheating, its your minds way of telling you want would make you happy. You are clearly not happy with this person at all if you are thinking about what it would be like not to be with him when you are with him. You need to get out of that realationship as it is not going to get you anywhere. cheaters are no good. You know im sure if you got out of it you would be able to find someone that would make you a littler happier. Dont sit around and wait for something better, go find someone better!
2007-05-08 08:12:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are thinking about leaving him in your mind then you should listen to ur conscience.
there is no point in being someone who doesnt even spark to you as a dream guy
you may not be able to find a dream guy if you leave him
but at least you will find someone who will make you feel so much better
and know he will be faithful..
but no you arent cheating..
2007-05-08 08:12:22 · answer #9 · answered by [mh♥kv] 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to stay in a relationship because you haven't found anything better? You should get out because you're not happy. Staying in this relationship could actually prevent you from finding the happiness you are looking for...Let the loser go and find the one you are looking for...
2007-05-08 08:13:08 · answer #10 · answered by Invisible 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't cheating, you are imagining a life without him in it. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with what you are doing.
The fact that you feel this way should be sending alarm gongs off in your head and your heart. If you don't want to be with him, why are you? Answer that honestly, and go from there.
For you to be cheating either physically or emotionally, you must be commiting that part of yourself to something or somebody else.
2007-05-08 08:13:01 · answer #11 · answered by Aric 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋