So, my husband has a lying problem. I catch him lies concerning money alot. I am pregnant, have a 6 year old son with him and love him . He lost his job in March.
The other day i realized there was a chargeback in our joint checking account. Meaning that he cashed a check , which i later found out was a CApital ONe check, and there was no funds on the card to cover it, so now we owe the bank that money plus a fee.... I asked him about it, and he says he has no idea. It must be a mistake. Maybe his dad did it on accident since he is on the account too.... So he says he'll take care of it. Well it's been a week and he still hasn't taken care of it. So i call the bank , found out it was him using a CC check...... So i am like, Why didnt he just tell me the truth? What did he do with the 500.00? I log into the CC acct. and all along he's had the CC too and used all the money. He told me he never got the CC That 's why the check was returned. I know we'll fight if I say something. Help
2007-05-08 07:00:24 · 9 answers · asked by Cutie 3 in Business & Finance ➔ Credit
just want to add that the reason his father is on the acct. is because he's had the joint acct. with him since he was a teenager. And it's really his account but i had him put my name on it so i can help him manage his money which obviously not working........ and I have my own acct. that he is NOT JOINT ON !
2007-05-08 11:41:07 · update #1
Money issues are one of the biggest problems any couple can face. It will most likely start a fight but try to start by telling him that you are concerned about the families financial situation and feel that the two of you need to stay on top of things while he is trying to find a new job and that is why you were looking at the accounts. Try not to ask him why he lied to you but rather why he felt he had to keep this information from you. Tell him that you are a family and need to work through any difficulties together. Good luck!
2007-05-08 07:12:33 · answer #1 · answered by Devin's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him calmly, ask him why he FEELS the need to keep the truth from you [don't come right out and call him a liar---that will certainly start a fight] tell him you are a big girl and can handle the truth, no matter what it is. Some people are just born liars, they will lie for no known reason, just to hear themselves, I think. My honey had the same problem, I think they've never had anyone in their lives that they could totally trust, so they don't even think about it and just lie, not realizing it. IF he doesn't admit to it, then tell him that you did research and found that it was him and NOT the father that used the CC check. Does he do any type of drug? That could easily cost $500.00 Or maybe he goes to Girlie Bars, he is doing SOMETHING that he knows you wouldn't approve of! Sorry to tell you, he is sick, he is hiding something from you and everyone else, including himself! Maybe he was found out at his job & that's why he was fired. Get the father off the account that way there will be no more confusion on that matter. Good Luck on finding out why he has used the money w/o telling you! GOOD LUCK with the BABY!!! ;-)
2007-05-08 14:23:54 · answer #2 · answered by Cyndy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship has tanked, you need marital counseling. I realize I am a total stranger, and do not know you, your exact circumstances, etc. However, based on the picture you have painted, you have a serious relationship problem.
If you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting what you are getting. The first step is to talk to a qualified third party intermediary and get these issues out in the open. If you belong to a church, go to your priest or pastor. If you don't belong to a church, ask a friend who does if you can talk to their priest or pastor.
All this lying, unemployment, and deceit is part of a bigger issue: your husband has lost his way. he needs to get it back, today.
2007-05-08 14:15:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take control of the family finances. You seriously need to have a money talk, I don't care if you have a fight the first time, money is something you should both be involved in. Read blogs like http://thesimpledollar.com and http://getrichslowly.org/blog and http://carlmoeller.com for free financial guidance. They all talk about sharing the finances in the marriage as the healthy thing to do. You need to know what is going on just as much as he does.
2007-05-08 14:12:28 · answer #4 · answered by Carl M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to give you advice about your marriage. I'm sure you know what you need to do about that. Get off any joint accounts you have with him immediately or you will suffer for years to come when your credit is screwed.
2007-05-08 14:09:52 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs.H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For your protection get his dad off of the account or get your separate account. Why should his father be in the mix with your two finances!
2007-05-08 16:34:24 · answer #6 · answered by Champ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid to argue! It's nice to vent once in a while, plus it sounds like something you should definately get straitened out before it gets worse!!
2007-05-08 15:26:15 · answer #7 · answered by chris j 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to speak up and tell him how u feel and maybe u need your own account so u know whats going on with your money..
2007-05-08 14:38:57 · answer #8 · answered by shorty21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what I did and close that m*f**out
2007-05-08 14:05:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋