How do you spend mother's day after your mother has passed away?

Question

My mother passed away and I don't have any children of my own. Any suggestions on how to celebrate the day without being depressed that I don't have my mother to spend it with?

Answer 1

Celebrate her life....in America we view death as tragic...don't get me wrong, it is very sad, but I believe other cultures have it right....celebrate the life they lived and never forget the moments you shared.

Answer 2

Plan something meaningful to honor your mother, like a visit to her grave with flowers... maybe even bring some grass shears to trim around her gravestone and some hardy perrienials or annuals (like marigolds or pansies) to plant.

Perhaps you could write your Mom a note saying how much you appreciated and love her and leave it there, as well.

Sunday might be a good day to gather up some photos and mementos into an album or scrapbook (maybe even jot down some favorite memories on nice paper, too)... it's okay to shed a few tears, in fact it's healthy.

Do you have siblings? What are they doing? Are any availbable to meet with you at a favorite resturant or coffee shop to toast the memory of Mom with you? You could agree in advance that each of you must tell your favorite funny story about Mom and whomever's is the best doesn't have to pay.

You might also something that you enjoy doing that day as well, maybe go see a movie with a friend and then eat at your favorite resturant. Perhaps you might treat yourself to a new book or DVD on Sunday. I would NOT spend all day inside alone... even if you simply go out to a store, get out and be around other people (isolation make depression worse.)

You might also want to spend some time on Sunday writing letters to women who have been there for you in your life. No, they're not Mom, but Mom's day is a good day to appreciate all the women who have loved, helped, and supported us. Is there a teacher in your past you never thanked? Do you have an Aunt or a childhood neighbor who may not realize what they've meant to you? Do you have a friend or mentor now whom you appreciate?

Whatever you do, be good to yourself and know that it's okay to greive on Mother's day... in fact, it's the most normal and natural thing you can do.

The "special dates" associated with loved ones are always difficult in the year(s) following thier death. It does get better with time, but for now let it be what it is... feeling your sadness is the path to healing.

Answer 3

First off, please understand that your mother really didn't want to divorce this man. It was EASY for her to get a divorce - almost automatic for someone in prison. She never needed his signature. They are married and he is now out of prison. He calls all the shots. My guess is that she also doesn't have a will. If that is the case, some of her assets would automatically go to biological children and some to her husband - state law determines what. The only way you could alter any of this is to prove that she filed for legal separation. If you have a legal copy of that paperwork, then you can take that to the funeral home. As far as the papers, they are now pointless. He is now a widower. No divorce proceeding is possible. BTW, acceptance of video wills is iffy in many jurisdictions.

Answer 4

My mom passed away almost 4 years ago, i have a little boy but nothing is like spending the day with my own mom, i mean my son is only 6 and he doesnt want to do anything with me, so dont worry be strong i know its hard, i personally am depressed on all holidays doesnt matter what they are but i try my best to be happy, for my mom at least. she would have wanted that! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

My father passed away 2 years ago. He loved the shore so much. so every fathers day me and my brother and sisters and my mom go to ocean city and release ballons and talk to each other and remember what a great man he is its very comforting to think of the good fun times we have and to be around family. if you are religous you could always go to church...you could visit her grave or you could watch home movies and look at old pictures and remember what a wonderful women she was.. if its to depressing skip mothers day altogether and go catch a movie or hang out with some friends.

Answer 6

My husband died and our first year without him I toOK the boys to the beach and on the way back home we stopped by the grave. It's ok to do something different...You can adopt a mom....is there an older lady at your work who's children moved away and can't spend time with her? A grandmother or aunt.

Answer 7

You have a very good Q. My Mother passed away nearly 4 yrs ago.When it gets close to the day. I ignore all the commercials and advertisements. And just go on with work and activities like its any other day. I know it can be very depressing. My Mother and I were very close.You'll be fine.It gets easier.

Answer 8

I go to the cemetery and place flowers for my mother at her grave site. I also try to do one thing that I knew she enjoyed doing like going for a walk on the beach or spending time helping someone. I do little things that I know she liked and would be proud I followed in her foot steps.

Answer 9

I spend a little time at her gravesite, then go visit women in the nursing homes who don't have children to visit them. Bring some flowers, play the piano for them, or just sit and show some interest in what they have to say. They need you and your mother would be proud.

Answer 10

It is ok my mother passed away 2 years ago,and,I am still
having a hard time with her not being here.
This mother"s day will be my second year without her,and,the
closer it gets the sadder I get.
The way that I found to deal with it is to focus,and,spend the time with my family that is here.
I know that it is hard at first,but,you will get through with your
family"s help if you let them help you.

Answer 11

I have spent some time with elderly mothers in a nursing home who didn't get much visitors... they were to tears so happy with some kind attention even if I werent their daugther... made me feel so good. They werent my mum, but to do something nice made me (and them) feel good anyway... :) there must be more options... mothers or woman in hospital who could do with a smile..... there is soooooo much good you can do, even if not in the place or to the person you wanted to give it to.. she will be there in your heart and thoughts... :) How about giving children without a mom a chance to celebrate it too by being a substitute mom? ask around at local schools.... good luck in finding ways to make others and yourself happy. :)