my mom just told me yesterday that she finally took my advise from what i told her a month ago about leaving my father. i love my father but i dont appreciate what he did to me and my family. and because of what he did is why my lil sis and i are in the system.
2007-05-08 06:03:15 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
hmmmm
2007-05-08 06:11:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Listen to me. Although I have similar guilty feelings I know they are unfounded. YOUR family DID not fall a part because of you.
You seem like you had been the one holding the glue together through all these family ordeals. Give yourself a break. Although your advice to your Mom may have been considered she did this on her own for her own reasons.
You are your younger sister's family and role model. So far, you have been a great one. One day she will appreciate it. I do not know why you were put into the system (i.e. can your Mom get custody?) Regardless, it is time to look out for you and the rest of your life. There is nothing you can do to reduce the drama between your Mom and Dad. Make sure you help you, and keep track of your sister.
You have done nothing wrong. I hope you find a home where you can feel safe and work on your own goals. You are a strong person but there are some things out of our control, and this is one of them. Best of luck from the bottom of my heart.
2007-05-16 01:41:46 · answer #2 · answered by sliverofdignity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey what did you do? It sounds like what your dad did that put you in the system. I hope if you are in foster care that the foster family is taking good care of you first of all. No matter what your mom told you or what you told your mom (say to leave your dad) your mom knows more about your dad than you do so respect her decision. It is not your fault. Children getting hurt by their parents or by anyone else for that matter is NEVER EVER their fault. You did nothing wrong to break up your parents. nothing. My advice is if you are in the system your little sister too, just never steal, don't do drugs, keep calm, go to school, graduate, and go to college or at least a tech school so you will be able to support yourself later. OH and no drinking and no boys. I know that's non of my business but I have a teenage daughter and a teenage son 18 and 20 and always told them the same thing. Whatever happened to put you in the system sounds like something your dad did not you. Whatever you told your mom she knows more than you think and though you love your dad it might be the best decision. You can always still love your parents!
2007-05-15 18:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes just because a family loves each other does not mean that it is good for them to be together. It seems that if your dad's actions caused you and your sis to be placed in the system, it is his issues that need work, and no one can make those choices but him. It must have taken alot for you to suggest leaving to your mom, and it must have taken alot for her to take that advice. I know right now you are regretting saying whatever you did, but there was a reason for you making that suggestion and you shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to be safe and happy in your home and family. You can still love your dad w/out loving his actions, and sometimes it is just better for a family to be apart at least for awhile. Your family is not falling apart, it is changing and trying to make things better for everyone. It would seem the falling apart started long before and you shouldn't feel that is your fault, because it's not. Give it a chance, you might be surprised by how things work out in the long run.
2007-05-16 05:17:10 · answer #4 · answered by inthemidwest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good morning babygirl.....Whatever your father had done must not have been good if you are part of the system now. Don't blame yourself for your fathers mistakes. Your mother made the right decision and you are not at fault. There is a reason for everything that happens. It may not always be a good reason but there's a reason. Your father was at fault here and you and your sister are the victims. Don't dwell on what cannot be changed. Move forward and keep the faith. Have a blessed day!
2007-05-16 02:51:41 · answer #5 · answered by shuggabhugga05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I understand your story correctly, this is not because anything you did, but because of what your father did. So try not to blame yourself. You saved your family and your mom is now able to find the strength to take steps to leave your father. Believe in yourself and remember that this is temporary. I hope you and your sister are getting the proper help you to put this behind you. Talk to someone and remember you did a good thing.
2007-05-15 10:56:02 · answer #6 · answered by Diane T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family is not falling apart directly caused by your action. And if you told your mom she should leave your dad, and she finally is leaving your dad, you can bet a lot of thought went into that and your input was small but significant. I know people say they stay together because of the children but they never say they are breaking up because of the children! Don't feel responsible. She's the parent.
2007-05-14 10:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what your father did to you and your sister. But I believe he will reach his destiny for the things he has done to you both. See, it's not up to us to judge him or your mom.
As for your mom finally taking your advice, it's more like she has stop giving him excuses for certain things and decided it is at this time in her life she chooses to want something better for her self.
I know you love both of your parents However, we all have our own destiny and it must take it's course. What was said by you advising your mother to leave your dad is done and water under the bridge. However, the cure to all broken hearts is love.
Love will endure all things, love will certainly heal all broken hearts. The best thing you can do for your mother is show her that you love her and that you are there for her and support her in her decision. By doning this you show her your undying gratitude to your mom despite what you have said in the past and shows how much she means to you and your sister.
As for your, father have forgiveness in your heart and hold no grudges, you may not have talk with him, to him, but forgive him as you would want to be forgiven of your short comings.
Through all this remember to be happy and smile for you are alive and able to be a blessing to others.
2007-05-08 07:04:26 · answer #8 · answered by storm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your family is falling apart because of what you father did, and what you mother didn't do long ago. There actions are in no way your fault. You are the child, they are the parents. Shame on them for not being good ones.
2007-05-08 06:37:43 · answer #9 · answered by Keriokeeee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although you did not really say it clearly, but it seems it is quite serious. For my advise, no matter what your father has done to you and your family, he is still your father, you still have to respect him as a father. But why should you leave your father? Did he hit or injure any of your family members? Try to think, if he doesn't, why should you do that? But did he spend money on you before? If he did, you should appreciate it.
My friend, respect, love and responsibility are all very very important, hopefully you make your right choice.
2007-05-08 06:14:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is not your fault your mom made her decision and of taking her 1 Month to think about it. It must be the best decision, Just be there for her she needs you, because a separation it is very difficult and to accept and try to be in touch with your father if that is what you want.
2007-05-08 06:26:02 · answer #11 · answered by Mel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋