parents who co-slept only !!?

Question

i want to hear your stories if you have older or grown kids who co-slept but now sleep on their own, how did it happen and what is your story..... my son is 4, i was doing the lay with him in his bed and then sneek out but now i have opted to put a bed in my rm. for him ?? just curious at what age they start to grow out of this and are able to be on their own....ps. dont want anyone telling me that i need to MAKE him sleep on his own.. oviously i am not going to do that.... thanks.

Answer 1

Kids grow out of it when they become more self aware I guess you could say, my neice and nephew both had their own rooms and beds, and they would climb into my sister-in-laws bed on a daily basis. My neice started to out grow that when she was 7. My nephew who is almost 3 still climbs into bed with mommy when he wakes up. If you want your child to start sleeping on his own one of my suggestions would be to put his bed in his room, but allow him to come curl up with you if he wakes up, and set up a bed time routine like you rock with him or read him stories or watch a movie/cartoon he picks out, and then tell him its time for bed, I'm not saying to make him sleep on his own but to ween him into his own space slowly and still maintain that closeness by having a routine for you and him, and still allow him to come to you when he's scared or woke up at night. Instead of a bed in your room you could leave a sleeping bag on the floor too. Just my thoughts, if you give him options he'll make his own choices. including where he wants to sleep. Just my thoughts.

Answer 2

I co slept with all 4 of my children (the baby still is). At about 9 mo I started to transition to a crib. My kids slowly got used to sleeping in their beds and by the time the were 1 1/2 to 2 years they were sleeping on their own. I would always go get them in the middle of the night if they cried, and it has seemed to work for me. I think it is a good idea to put a bed in your room to get him used to sleeping in the bed. Good Luck.

Answer 3

My 5 & 7 year olds sleep on their own some nights, with me others. We respect each other's needs and encourage their independence.

When the 7yo was 4, we got bunk beds for the two of them. Told them that it was time that they learned how to sleep on their own, especially on daddy's nights off of work, so that mom & dad could stay up late and watch movies in bed ;-) (before that, we 'watched movies' in the living room from time to time)

They understand that and, after a night or two of extra comforting, they were able to fall asleep & stay all night in their own beds. They know that they can come to our room any time that they need us in the night. That helps.

And, some nights, if someone wants extra cuddling (them or us), if someone's sick, if we stayed up too late & mom's too tired, if we had a horrible-no-good day, if we didn't get enough time together that day, whatever... Sometimes they'll ask to sleep in the big bed, or I'll ask them to sleep there & we'll all cuddle up together & sleep.

Eventually peer pressure and adolescence will pull them away & they will cringe at the idea of sleeping in the same bed with mom, dad, sister... I don't feel the need to rush that.

Answer 4

I co-slept with my daughter until she was 6 or 7. It started out because her father was coming home drunk and belligerent all the time, and then when we separated we stayed together for the comfort of it. She went to her own bed on her own because she was a big girl and felt it would be too embarrassing for her friends to find out she was sleeping with her mother.

Answer 5

Well, I co-slept with my baby until she was 5 months old, then transitioned her to a crib. But, I guess you are talking about an older child. I guess you could put him in his own bed, next to yours, and then gradually move it farther. I think at his age, you could concentrate on the psychology of it. Make it fun! Tell him he is a big boy, and he is going to sleep in a big boy bed, all by himself, in his own room. Try to get him to sleep in it, and then if he wakes up and wants to come join you in your bed, allow him to for a while, then maybe put him back into his bed when he falls asleep.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I personally don't think co-sleeping is a good idea at all. I think that it's ok to have a crib for a newborn in the parents room just for the first few months until they start sleeping through the night (more for parents convenience). But then they should be moved to their own room. I think that it would be a lot harder with older kids, but you aren't getting a good night sleep. My parents didn't do this with me. Plus parents need their own space (as well as kids) - I imagine this puts a huge damper on your sex life. There's some decent sounding suggestions here, I guess whatever works for your situation. Good luck

Answer 7

My daughter is 5 and my son is 7 and they both did (aslo my 1 yr old, but she still is). My son we got him a bed and little by little I was moving it closer and closer to his room. It was out in the hallway for a long time (almost a year). Now with my 5 yr old I did the same thing and we kept all doors open and now she sometimes crawls in bed with the 3 of us, but it is ok. We sometimes encourage her to sleep with her brother.

Answer 8

I co-slept with my kids until age 2 1/2 ish. We transitioned by first putting the toddler bed in our room. After a few months we moved them into their own room and they did surprisingly well. We read then send them to their room and fall right to sleep. I LOVE the bonding experience of co-sleeping and I also think it strengthend the kids sense of security. Maybe try by letting him sleep with YOUR pillow or blanket in his room. This way he has a piece of security but he's still in his bed. Trust me there will be a day when you will stare at him in his bed sleeping like a sweet angel wishing he was still with you!

Answer 9

my kids slept with us until they were about a yearold. then I started of by holding them till they were a sleep then taking them to their own beds and laying them down. as they grew older i would sit beside them until they fell asleep. by the age of 4 though, I could tuck them in and they could stay by them selves.
They need to be in their own room and own beds by this age. (Not counting the occasional nightmare or thunderstorm)
You both need your privacy, and will also sleep better if you are not listening to the other person's night noises.
You might try putting on a casette tape that will shut itself off. Music or books on tape. My kids were particularly fond of hank the cowdog storieson tape. they are on cd now too. The soft lull of a constant voice usually put them right out.

I know a couple whose kid slept with them until he was 9 or 10. To this day he prefers a couch to a bed and has problems with insomnia. He's 24.

Answer 10

making his sleep on his own is a little extrema...putting a bed for him in your room is a good start....as he gets older set his bed in his room...for the first few nights lay in his bed with him till he falls asleep...then sit in a chair next to his bed slowly move the chair back a few feet ever few nights Finlay set the chair out side his door until he is asleep...
i still fondly remember my mother slowly getting me to sleep in my own bed this way...locking him in his room and making him stay is never a good thing...i am proud of you for realizing that. good luck and good job