How do you react when a friend says I love you?

Question

Many co-worker say that to me and I don't care, unless it happens to be a certain co-worker you have your eyes on. She say's I love you so many times and she flirts with me (touching me when she has a chance, cross hug from behind, teasing, big smile, eyes brighten up, etc). I don't like it, since I have strong feelings for this person, yet she has a boyfriend, whom last I heard, her and him are on the brink of breaking up, meaning she wanted to break up with him yet he won't let her and she doesn't know what to do. I believe if I attract her to me since I believe attraction cuts through everything, I could win her. I just don't want to invest in this if it is a waste of my time. What do you think?

Answer 1

tell them what u think

Answer 2

You have a couple options-

The most simple-- Leave that can of worms alone, don't even touch it with the proverbial 10-foot pole. Play it cool, say, "Love ya," back and don't take any of it seriously.

The most honest, but could backfire-- Take her aside and ask her to define what she means when she says that. If you're feeling particularly brave that day, explain what you're thinking. Tell her that you're attracted to her, and her statements, when taken with her other body language and "signals" are getting kind of confusing. Also explain that at the same time, you don't want to get in the middle of an already delicate situation- the one between her and her boyfriend.


My suggestion- go with simple. Wait and see what happens between her and her boyfriend. If they break up, wait another week or 2 (so you don't look too opportunistic), then ask her out. I'd really recommend skipping the honest/messy option all together!

Answer 3

This is one of those problems where everyone will have their own answer. If I was in your shoes, and trust me I was before, I would let her know that you have strong feelings for her as well and would like to take her out, but you would like to hold on until she is out of her current relationship and is available. Many people will flirt with you and tell you they love you, but all they want is to play around. You will never know what is in her head, but if she is really into you, she will break up with current BF and be with you. There is no such thing as for a person to be in a relationship because the other half cannot let go. If she is still in that relationship, she still has feelings. If you do not want to get hurt, make sure she is really into you and will break up her existing relationship for you.

Answer 4

dont do anything, keep your cool. she is trying to see how you would react by her saying she loves you. check this, if she really loves you, why does she have another boyfriend? Hmmm... She might be trying to use you to get the boyfriend jealous, or she is attracted to you, but guaranteed she doesnt love you... not yet. if you want this female i suggest just stay cool and keep doing what you do, thats what attracted her in the first place. dont change all of a sudden just cause she said that, that would make the "friendly" relationship awkward (trust me, i know). if she says "i love you", just reply "did you really think i'd fall for that? Haha!". Do you see that now, its up to her to prove herself if she really does love you? Then pay attention to what else she will be doing towards you. Voila! You didnt have to invest anything, you just done put that on her.

Answer 5

I think that you need to approach her in a serious matter, but make sure it isn't awkward. Do this out of work, for obvious reasons of that "weird feeling". Ask her what her intentions are and that you really like her friendship, let her know that you know about her and her boyfriends problems, and that you have feelings for her. She will approach this situation in many different ways, but make sure you stay strong and let her know that you mean everything you've said. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope I could help you out.

Answer 6

I think she knows EXACTLY what she is doing. She has a boyfriend. On the brink of breaking up or not - doesn't mean anything. They could be fighting or going thru a rough time, but that doesn't make her single and absolutely doesn't mean she has given him up. She's flirting to have fun at work. She knows you like her. She wants her boyfriend and you to like her.

Answer 7

I think everything happens for a reason. And Love in my mind happens without effort so if you would have to win this woman then it isnt meant to be. Just stick with the good friend flirt role and if she's really interested you'll know..

Good luck!

Answer 8

I'm in the almost same predicament. If I were you, I'd just try to play it cool. I don't think it's that big a deal if you tell her that you love her back. Even if she has a boyfriend, things can end up differently, you know? Just play it cool until the boyfriend is outof the picture.

Answer 9

She is very emotionally needy right now. Her hugs are serving her own need, not a message to you. She wants to be "saved." You can't do that. Don't get sucked in. She is not healthy enough emotionally to be able to give anyone else. Find someone else for yourself. Then talk about her in the office so the word gets out.

Answer 10

sounds like she takes you as a springboard to get rid of her boyfriend.I know some girls they just need a guy to be with when they are experiencing some emotional problems,even sometimes they dont really like him.Be careful ,not to be taken advantage.You said you dont wanna waste your time,and considering the fact that she is your co-worker,you probably need to take your time , figure out a workable way to let her know without hurting her feelings.So good luck!

Answer 11

If she is coming on to you then she is obviously attracted to you, And if there are others in the office and she picked you then you are very special to her, so respond. Next time she says she loves you, reply would you like to come out one night for a meal etc. and go from there.
Dr Knowitall.