If you found out that your girlfriend was pregnant, both of you are in school only and not working, you love her but don't feel ready to have a baby would you ask her/demand that she get an abortion?
2007-05-08 04:26:32 · 30 answers · asked by Melissa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are not ready to have a baby then maybe you shouldn't be having sex!!!!
Why ask her to have an abortion, so abortions lead to the woman never being able to have children again. If you aren't ready then you should give it up for an adoption to a family who wants children. And next time think before you have sex there is more to it then just an oragasm!
2007-05-08 04:32:02 · answer #1 · answered by Heather 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can't DEMAND that she get an abortion, and why would you? That's murder. OK, so you didn't mean to get pregnant, so did you use any protection? That baby didn't ask to be created, you know. And after 10 days, it does have a heartbeat. How could you think of killing it?
I think it shows that you're irresponsible and selfish, getting her pregnant in the first place and then wanting to kill the baby because you're not ready. There are other options - like adoption. Then the baby would have a chance at life and you could still be a selfish child as long as you want, or till the next time you knock someone up. And have you asked her what SHE wants to do? What if she wants to keep the baby? Do you have any idea what it feels like to feel another life grow inside of you for 9 months? It's an awesome thing.
I think you need to find out what she wants to do, and if she wants to keep the baby, support her. If she wants to give the baby up for adoption, support her. How old are both of you?
2007-05-08 04:42:05 · answer #2 · answered by melissa_53105 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. Now this is a hard question. Whether you are you in college or HS, I feel that if you are not financially able to be on your own or to support a family, you should seek alternatives to having and keeping the baby. Not just abortion, but also giving the baby up for adoption. You can tell her about your concerns and desire for her to have an abortion, but don't be surprised if that blows up in your face. A newly pregnant girl has all kinds of hormones roiling around in her body, and many would view being asked for an abortion as the ultimate betrayal of your love. If you are both underage, it sounds like you have been dabbling with sex, when you are not willing or able to deal with the consequences, not a particularly good thing, even though it seemed like a good thing at the time. If this is the case, talk to both of your parents and try to reach a decision. Most importantly , LISTEN to your parents! Even though they seem old and you think that they can never understand, they HAVE been where you are and can give you guidance with the wisdom of having "been there." Good luck, whatever the decision. My best advice is to realize that she did not get pregnant by herself, and, since you wanted to make the adult decision to have sex, you must grow up enough to live with the consequences. And if you continue to have sex, make sure you use contraception in the future.
2007-05-08 04:47:13 · answer #3 · answered by blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can express your wish, but you shouldn't demand it or pressure her into that choice. She's going through enough as it is, and what she needs is your support.
Yeah, you should have used protection (and I have a feeling that you will be doing that in the future), but as I tell my high school students when they talk about having sex, unless you can handle having a kid right now you shouldn't be having sex. When you are older it's easier to figure out ways to support a kid than it is when both parents are still in school.
Adoption is an option, and it's possible that she herself will want to find some way to keep the baby. There are a lot of couples out there who cannot conceive for whatever reason who would love to make that baby a part of the family.
Also, if it's crossing your mind, getting married just for the baby isn't usually a good plan. If you want to marry her, fine, but make sure you'd have done it anyway.
2007-05-08 04:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by joy_like_a_fountain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not demand her to do anything. It's her body and ultimately her choice. Deciding whether to have a baby can be a very difficult choice for some people. But I would talk calmly to her and explain why you feel neither one of you are ready to be parents right now. Let her know you feel like currently you and her could not provide the life you would want you child to have. Also if you want, suggets alternatives to getting an abortion. Since both of you created life together I would let her know that you will respect and support her decision regardless.
2007-05-08 04:41:01 · answer #5 · answered by Americka S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ultimately it is the womans choice and she will do in the end what is right for her , but it doesnt mean you love her any less by asking her to terminate the pregnancy.
Having a kid is a HUGE deal and both the mother and the father need to think very very seriously if this what they BOTH want.
Also I think that since the 2 of you are still in school and you havent really gotten yourselves a job or done anything you might want to achieve in your life i.e. travel, live abroad etc then you are definately too young to have children.
You have the right to ask her to have an abortion but remember she does have the choice of adoption as well. So just be there for her and support all you can - and try you best to support any decision that she ultimately decides to go with.
2007-05-08 04:41:16 · answer #6 · answered by *Rhi Rhi* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the situation. I would never demand it. I don't think you have the right to demand it just as I don't think a woman has a right to abort the child without talking to the father. I think it should be a decision that both parents make. (ok keep in mind that I am a woman trying to think of what I would do if I was a man in that situation)
I think it depends on the woman's opinions on abortion. I am pro-life so if I had gotten pregnant and my boyfriend had suggested it I would have felt like he didn't respect my beliefs and I would have probably ended things with him. I think that you should talk to her about your concerns and together you two should come up with a solution.
2007-05-08 04:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by jennypoo803 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no that doesn't mean that you don't love her like you claimed it just means that your irresponsible (no offense) i understand your situation. but think about this, would you really want to kill someone?? especially an innocent baby?? a baby of your own?? just because you guys are irresponsible you shoudn't take an innocent life away. you shouldn't get an abortion because of two reasons .. 1 you should have thought of the consequences before you did it without practicing safe sex and 2 you are commiting a crime to yourself to others and to God.....look no one is ever ready for this. but even if your not ready you could always muster up the courage to ask for help. leave the baby with your parents while your at school and get a job that's not so hard you know...
2007-05-08 04:41:03 · answer #8 · answered by rockin'_the_world 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
fairly the opposite. Suggesting an abortion can educate the depths of love that one has for an major different. The foresight to do not ignore that both of you is surely no longer in a position to help a baby is a efficient project. imagine about it, once you've a baby you won't be able to help, your existence as you understand it really is over and also you doom your self to poverty. once you've an abortion and wait to have a baby, you may have the existence you more often than not dreamed of, with adequate funds to provide your baby a respectable destiny.
2016-11-26 19:10:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had several of my friends that been in that situation... Majority of them ended up having the baby... The first things first, it has to be both of your decision about the baby, If you were not ready for a baby, why where you thinking doing it with her, you should of thought of the consequences... But thats too late now... the only thing it matters is if both are ready to take care of the baby, the best thing to do is to let her know how you feel about the pregnantcy, im pretty sure both of you are going to make a good decision..
2007-05-08 04:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by lil_salvarican 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋