If you found out that your girlfriend was pregnant, both of you are in school only and not working, you love her but don't feel ready to have a baby would you ask her/demand that she get an abortion?
Does telling your girlfriend that you want her to have an abortion mean that you don't love her-as much as you claim?
2007-05-08 04:17:55 · 14 answers · asked by Melissa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you discuss it rationally and like adults, there shouldnt be a problem...list the pros and cons of having a baby still in school with no jobs...she'll see it your way....
2007-05-08 04:25:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can not demand that your girlfriend has an abortion. It is against her human rights. Did you not think about using contraception? Seriously, if you had been mature enough to use contraception you may not be in this situation now. Well, as it turns out, she is pregnant, you are the father and you both need to sit down and discuss the future. Your girlfriend is entitled to do as she pleases with her body. You could explain that the timing is wrong and you wish to concentrate on school rather than raising a family at such a young age. Hopefully she will agree with you. However, she may not believe in abortion and may go ahead and have the baby, thus making you a father. Good luck with whatever happens. A baby isn't the end of the world - you will both just be tied down for a while. But it will get older and you will be both be able to regain your independence. Good luck!
2007-05-08 11:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by Bitzer Maloney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it may come across that way... taking the life of a little one that you created together isnt exactly a great way to start your lives together... but then again , neither is welfare and food banks. I am a young single mother. My ex and I decided to keep our baby and in the end, our relationship didnt work out, now my life is so hard because I have more responsibility than I can handle right now. I think you and your gf made a mistake by not ensuring that you took the precautions to prevent a pregnancy, but seeing as how its too late, you should both spend some time and think seriously about what you wanna do. Is there an older family member that is willing to be a serrogate parent to this baby? Abortion is a serious, irreversible thing, do you really want to do that? It doesnt mean you love her any less for wanting to do this, and theres nothing wrong with asking her to consider it, but there is no way you can demand it to be done. The baby is in her body, it is her choice. I wish you both the best and you now need to grow up and get jobs. There are ways to finish school from home so you can hold down a job, your you might have to do school during the days and work at night... it wont be easy at first but things will work out and you might be a family... there is nothing worth more in the world than our family. Be patient with her, she will be emotional during this time, let her make her own mind up about what she wants to do because she will resent you if you push her towards any direction. I wish you luck.
2007-05-08 11:29:05 · answer #3 · answered by Candy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as it stands now, it is entirely your girlfriend's decision whether or not to have an abortion. You can tell her you are scared and don't feel ready. If you ask her to have an abortion, it could ruin the relationship and if she chooses to have the baby, someone might be insensitive enough to tell that child someday that you asked for an abortion. It doesn't seem like you gave any thought to the consequences of having sex. This is one of them. Hopefully your girlfriend feels the same way you do, but if not, prepare yourself as much as possible for that baby. You don't get a second chance at "being there" for your baby. Good luck to you.
2007-05-08 11:28:04 · answer #4 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, difficult situation... First thing indeed is to tell her you're not ready, because if you wait too much then abortion won't be possible anyway. However, in the end it will be her decision, so if she wants to keep the baby, I'm afraid you're screwed either way:
- if you stay with her you will have to take care of a baby you don't want to have
- if you leave her you will look like a coward who doesn't take his responsibilites
If you really love her, my guess would be that whatever her decision will be you should support her. You will probably find people to help you if this baby comes to the world (your parents maybe, or hers?) but in any case don't leave her alla lone with this, that would be so terrible for her.
2007-05-08 11:27:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seek her thoughts, and share my view that carrying a pregnancy to term (even for adoption) wouldn't be best for us at the time. But if she were to choose to take the pregnancy to term, I would support her, although I would suggest that she give it up.
No; in fact telling her that I think she should have an abortion means that I love her more... because i understand the importance of her future and our future and don't want to subject her (and this potential life) to a life of poverty.
(P.S. sorry about all of the berating you've taken about protection... we all know that protection isn't 100%, and that peopel DO make mistakes, and MOST people have sex when they're teens... they're just really prepared or lucky...)
2007-05-08 14:03:03 · answer #6 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not necesarily if your like 13-18 your just not ready to have a son/daughter. but i also feel abortion is wrong. but if you guys didn't want a baby why did you guys do the vavavavoom and all that. i mean you guys should get married or sumthin b4 you do that. besides how are you gonna break it to ur parents. i mean abortion costs money. if of course you had one. but you would need to get a serious job b4 hand if you went either way.
ps you guys REALLY should have waited.
ps(again) you guys could really love each other and not want to have a baby yet.
2007-05-08 11:30:02 · answer #7 · answered by pistoluser 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If my girlfriend was pregnant I would actually be happy. But we are both gainfully employed. This is a matter that you should discuss and especially talk to your parents. I am not anti-abortion but I don't think that it should be used as a form of birth control. You've had your fun and you should explore all your options before you make a decision that will affect you both for the rest of your lives.....Good luck!!!
2007-05-08 11:26:49 · answer #8 · answered by zoli20ga 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No it means you are being realistic about your future. I mean you have your hand on the toilet flusher of life and its up to you to pull it. I mean you obviously made a mistake by having un protected sex but you need to finish school and get a good foundation before you have kids. If you don't you will be struggling and it will probably pull you apart as a couple as well. Think about the future of your child first. Do you want the baby to have everything? or do you want life to be super hard and poor? the choice is yours.
2007-05-08 11:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i do believe in abortion BUT its up to the lady whatever she decides i would support her without question ---- the problem is we would have never got in this situation as we would have/did use protection until we were ready to have kids
yes it shows you do not consider her feelings over yours
2007-05-08 11:27:48 · answer #10 · answered by trader1867 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not even the slightest bit, you can love her unconditionally but you know that you arent ready to support a child, with no income and very little education ask her how u 2 are gonna take care of the kid
and that should solve most of your problems
2007-05-08 11:26:20 · answer #11 · answered by TJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋