Should I cheat?

Question

I am confused, I know I shouldn't be but I am! I met my girl when I was 17 and have now been with her five years. We have been through so much together it would take hours to go into it, and she has always stuck by me even though I havent always been easy to live with. I love her to the end of the earth and I do still find her sexually attractive.

So WHY oh WHY do I consistently want to sleep with pretty much every woman I see? I mean it is getting crazy I just want to rip women apart sometimes, like my animal instinct is taking over! The drive to be with as many girls as possible is driving me crazy. I don’t want to be with anyone else, I certainly don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone else, but when I think of sleeping with someone else it drives me crazy with desire. The only thing that stops me (apart from the fact that I'm sure most of these girls would reject me anyway!) is the thought that I don’t want to be racked with guilt and ruin our relationship.

At the same time I can see myself starting to drive my girl away because that way sleeping with other people wouldn’t matter so much, and I don’t want to do that.

I have talked to her about it extensively (we are very open) and we agree that it is instinctive to want to sleep with other people and she understands sex can be just sex and what I have with her is different. She has even said that if it makes me happy, I should just do it but not tell her because she doesn’t have to know. As ideal as this sounds I don’t know how I would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and I don’t want to be a hypocrite.


HELP ME PLEASE! I don’t want to lose everything over a bit of meaningless sex but it is on my mind ALL THE TIME!

Answer 1

You have a problem...and so does your g/f if she actually thinks that way.... You need to control yourself is all I have to say. n

Answer 2

No NO NO NO NO! If you do she will find out and by you already telling her she will always have it in the back of her mind! If you want a real relationship you would stay true to you love! The best way to help calm those sexual urges is to call her when you feel it in your loins! You guys sound like you are serious why don't you marry her? Is she not yours would you let some other man take her? I mean now is the time to really think if you are ready to give up a great relationship for some sleazy one night stands and a few std! pssssss no comparison! Alex I will take option A for 300! 30 years from now you will regret losing the love of your life!
It is difficult to contain the beast but.........................
Ask God to help you with these Urges! Save all that lovin for your wife. She will greatly appreciate it! It will also save you headaches!

Answer 3

No you should not cheat on her...it sounds as if you might need a breather from the relationship. Five years?? Is a long time and I didn't hear anything about marriage or anything else in the works...perhaps you both need to take some time and see what else is out there ....that will really let you know if this relationship is really for you or not. But by all means do NOT cheat. Bad Karma

Answer 4

I think you are afraid to be rejected that is why your behavior is like the way it is. Remember if you truly love someone you will do anything...
First lets define love: love is kind, love is Patience, love does not envy and boast... this is how the bible define love.
Ask yourself some questions: such as... what are the things that she does that makes me want to be with her. what are the things that i can do to stay faithful for/with her. Am I man enough to take the responsibility and lead a relationship.
Remember in a relationship sex is not always an answer...take a time to listen to your self and also listen to her... you said that you have a good open relationship so this should not be hard for both of you... learn how to give and take.
hope this helps...

Answer 5

Maybe you guys can role play. Like her wearing wigs and pretending to be in different situations. It will give you the feeling as if you are having variety. If your girl is okay with being with other girls maybe you can try a threesome. I mean with a girl you will never ever see again. You have to make sure she is comfortable. I swear guilt will kill you though. If you feel guilty by the thought just think how you will feel by the act. Don't lose everything over som a@#!!!! She seems like she really wants you to be happy and you seem like you are. Watch porns and get off or go to srip clubs and get lap dances. Its does not hurt to look. Maybe your girl will even go with you Good Luck

Answer 6

Everyone goes through that, and it's hard I know. But wanting is not the same as having. My cousin and his wife went throught that. They where married as teenagers. They struck a deal that it could only be a threesome and in their house only. For a couple of years they brought these girls home and made a huge mess of their marriage. Everyone though it was over. But because they had a daughter, and he really loved his wife they agreed to stay together and worked through it. Now they are in their late 30's and it's her turn. Except she's not bringing the guys home, nor is she telling him. And he hates it. But he has to lie in the bed he's made. His feelings on it, is that it's totally not worth it. and he regrets ever doing it.

Answer 7

Why dont you make some scenarios up to pretend you 2 are someone else?

Like she goes out with her friends all dressed up, and you "pretend" to meet her at the bar for the first time, and pick her up, take her back to your place, and F U C K the **** outta her.

Thats what I did with my ex and he thought it was great. (We broke up over money btw) and so every once in a while it would cure that streak he had.

Or try a 3-some, if she is willing. They dont have to do anything to each other.

Answer 8

wow, tough one lol. i usually get angry at a person for cheating or WANTING to cheat but you are so HONEST & SINCERE about your feelings i cant even be mad at you. of course i would tell you NOT to cheat but from what you write, i get the impression the desire to sleep with other women is so overwhelming for you that you may cheat anyway or if you DONT, you will have some kind of self-inflicted "backlash" or something lol - like, if you dont get it out of your system, where will that energy go?

would it help if you directed that energy to your current girlfriend? maybe try some role-playing situations with your girlfriend where you two act as if she's "another woman"?? she can dress up different, style her hair different, you two can meet up somewhere, just as if its "someone else" (or one of those women you want to sleep with), and you can channel your sexual energies onto your girlfriend with the role-playing thing - lol - this may even make your sex life with your girlfriend CRAZIER and more better than it is already . . . . especially since your girlfriend is aware of what you are experiencing, she may be all game.

think you can try that? just a suggestion. bcz i just cant tell you to go ahead and cheat.

Answer 9

I am sorry Joe but I dont think that cheating is going to solve anything!! It may led into something more that you cant handle and even tho she said that you could that wont make it any easier for her to deal with. Maybe this is a test that she has given you to see how much you really do love her and to be honest with her..

If this is bothering you so much go talk to a professional and they will be able to help you and thats of course if none of theses answers are doing it for you...Good Luck and stay faithful if you truely love your girl

Answer 10

She is only saying that, and if you "do" cheat, you will lose the only thing that has meaning in your life!

Every man goes through this, its called.."Immaturity" It takes us awhile to grow out of it, and when we do, we are happier for it.

I have been married for 28 years, and have never cheated on my Wife, and I am glad of it. I couldnt live with the guilt, and it seems you couldnt either. So, its either all or nothing, you cheat, you lose, you dont cheat and focus entirely on "her", then you will have a fruitfull and healthy life and eventually you will learn to be happy with one woman, and find she is the "best" woman for you, and after you realize it, others will too and wish they had her instead of you!

Remember, if she is "that good", then others will find her just as attractive a 'catch' and you may find that you are out in the cold because 'you' were stupid!

I wish you well...

Jesse

Answer 11

if ur girl gives u the freedom to go have sex with another girl most guys would jump at the chance but since ur askin & wonderin if u should or due to ur loyalty, means u do care a great deal about her but if she gives u the open window jus take it but remember theres always gonna be a consequence, imagine if ur girl wz feelin the same way wut would u tell her, the same thing....? or would u say no, its jus a matter of ur pride & not wanting to lose something precious to u so give it some great thought or u could be in a lot of trouble.....