Me and my bf have been dating for 1 1/2 years and we are soon to get married!! But every guy that i know that has gotten married completey changes! usually they start out really good guys (helping around the house, cooking, doesn't look at porn)
But then they change, they start to do absolutley nothing, and they constantly talk about other pretty women, and look at porn, etc.
My bf says that he won't do that and that I should trust him, he says that he hates the fact that he has to be judged by his sex, because he is not like most men and he promises to stay that way!
But it's not that I don't trust him, it's that I don't trust who he might become!
2007-05-08 03:19:05 · 11 answers · asked by Kristen C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have faith in him that he is going to be that person you expect him to be. You can not judge him by looking at other people relationships. He is an individual.
2007-05-08 03:28:42 · answer #1 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no guarantees in life and marriage, that is why you don't get married unless you are absolutely sure that you want to spend your life with this person. Yes, people do change, but not always for the worse. I have been married for 17 yrs, and my husband has never talked about pretty women, cheated, become lazy. In fact, he is just the opposite, helps with the house, does a lot of the cooking, carpools the kids, etc. Not all men are like you have described. You have no idea what someone will become in the future, so if you are expecting things to always be the same, then you may want to reconsider getting married.
2007-05-08 10:31:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no real right answer to your dilemma. I guess there are a number of things to consider:
Your boyfriend might not be like all the other guys you've observed.
You don't know what might happen if you get married.
What do you think will happen if you don't get married?
If you do trust your boyfriend, perhaps you could trust him when he says he won't change.
I have heard many people comment that it is the women who change in the marriage relationship. Perhaps it is a change in expectations or change in roles that occurs and the behaviours you have seen are related to this. Maybe it is stuff that can be worked through.
2007-05-08 10:24:59 · answer #3 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The period of time 1 1/2 years shown that you knew him quite well and I'll trust you will have happiness with him should you marry him. Go on and think positively, so as to overcome your fear.
2007-05-08 10:31:31 · answer #4 · answered by James Louis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get it in writing so if he does change after then you can show him how much of a liar he really is. I wish I would have done that with my new some what of a husband. So if you get a divorce, hopefully not, everyone will understand why. I am not positive but I do know where you are coming from. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-05-08 10:31:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip on yourself. You could have found a good guy. It sounds like your feet are getting a bit cold. Put some socks on, and talk with him about your concerns on how you expect home life to be. Remember marriage is based on trust, so if you cannot trust him, you don't have much to base things on.
2007-05-08 10:30:32 · answer #6 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is all about taking chances!! Basically your about to take a huge chance on marry this man. Have him reassure you again and again. Is there a huge rush on getting married??
Why not live with one another for a couple of years and see what happens. Good Luck
2007-05-08 10:25:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur worrying too much - u know the guy he is - lets put it this way, everyone changes (girls and guys) so what if u change into something? u got to roll with the punches, and trust him - obviously u do cause then u wouldnt be getting married
2007-05-08 10:25:21 · answer #8 · answered by questions 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl.. If you love this man and he loves you then you have nothing to worry about. Yes he may turn out that way and then again he may not. Don't let that cause problems in you marriage to come.
2007-05-08 10:25:23 · answer #9 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont't worry, tell him that if he changes into what most of the other guys become that you will end it and be all confident, you can do it! this will hopefully help you
good luck!
2007-05-08 10:25:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋