Yes Im 18, yes Im a mom. Why do you have a problem with that?

Question

SO I had a baby before my 18th birthday, why does that make me so bad. Why am I constantly looked down upon by people who don't even know me. I am so sick of this stereotype. Of all steroetypes. Why do people think they can judge me without knowing my situation. You people want to be so nosey then here you go this is my story, Judge me know : I grew up in a loving family, mom and step dad, silver spoon in my mouth. Dad on the weekends. My step-dad was the best parent I had. He died the day after his and my moms divorce was final of a drug enduced heart attack. Everything we had went up my moms nose. I went to live with my dad. My recovering alchohlic dad, who was very emotionally abussive. My mom recovered and came back in my life. I moved back and forth between them in high school, untill the point where I didnt care about anything, was failing school. Met a great guy and started staying with him. Mom relapsed, dad got worse. Moved in with my boyfriend. Now let me tell you I had been

in and out of court since as long as I can remember. Custody or truency take your pick. Everything started to change. I got pregnant. I dropped out of school because I was so far behind. Then I immediatly enrolled into my GED classes. My boyfriend was working two jobds, 2nd n thrid shift. delivering pizza, and walmart. To afford our own place. I developed preecclampsia and was put on strict bedrest and my man supposeted us through everything. We had a beautiful baby boy. My guy started his apprentiship for his familys plumbing company (that he will one day own). We got married when our son was 4 months old. I have the luxury of being a stay at home mom. and house wife, taking care of our $1,100 a month duplex that we can comfortably afford. Of son has everything he needs, Is way ahead developmentally. I have since disowned my father, since I don't want my child having any sort of abuse in his life. And we are also supporting my mom while she gets back on her feet financially. But yes,

I am only 18. But to me age is only a number. I have been through so much that many other people will never even have to endure, I am very "mature for my age". And yet despite the fact that my husband and I are providing a great life for our son so many people look down on me for it. Why is this. Why do people have to me so close-minded and ignorant that just because of my age I am a unadequate parent??????

Answer 1

Yes, I DO. Age isn't "just a number". It's all about experience, patience and practical sense. As the grown child of a teenage parent, I think I have an interesting perspective on all the "Baby-mamas" who like to pretend that they are real parents. You aren't.

Now you can go back to spamming me all over the place, little girl, just because you got your feelings hurt over someone else's question. I absolutely HATE teenage drama. I got enough of that from my OWN mother.

Answer 2

You are in a tough situation. Your at an age where you are almost legally considered an adult, but are still a teenager in the same right. People don't know whether to congratulate you or feel bad for you and the baby. If you are happy about being pregnant and becoming a mother, than that is all that matters. If you aren't and are trying to get support from those around you to make you feel better, you should consider a different choice other than keeping the baby. This baby is going to be huge huge part of you and be totally dependent on you for the next 18+ years of he or shes life. Are you ready for that sort of responsibility at your age?? Are you financially prepared to handle the costs?? Are you covered by health insurance?? Is the father going to play an active role in the childs life?? There are so many teens that get pregnant, have babies, and think they are taking responsibility by receiving goverment assistance, which is not being responsible at all. I don't think anyone should be having kids if they aren't fully capable of handling the costs themselves. Just my opinion though.

Answer 3

All I can is God Bless you, for overcoming such a hard childhood and trying to raise a child in a better one. As long as you are happy with your life - stop caring what others think. Teach you baby boy how to live a good life. Again, God Bless you, not for being a young mom, but for being a good mom no matter the age. You made a choice in life and are making the best of it. I did not say mistake - b/c no child born is a mistake -b/c they come from God and God doesn't make mistakes. From what you say - You are doing a good job. Be Happy!

Answer 4

I, too had a baby when I was 18, I am 30 now, and was looked down upon because I got married my senior year of high school, and, it was hard to finish but I did it. I lost that baby due to stress from my in-laws, at the time they were embarrased by me, and the stress from people I went to school with. It is so unfair that we were and are looked down upon. My best advice to you is not to look over your shoulder and just move ahead and try to have the best life you can possibly have with your, Son, Husband, and Mom. It is hard I know, but it sounds like you've stepped up to the plate and proven just what is important to you in your life and if people don't respect that, then that's their insecurities, not yours. A lot of girls in our situation would've made some terrible decisions having a baby so early. Try to get yourself a counselor, spiritual advisor, or psychologist even, to help you thru your emotional abuse issues. I too, had those growing up and found it helpful to talk to get thru some my issues. But, I am still married to the same guy, for going on 13 years now, and we have 2 little boys who are just precious. So things do look up, you just have to push the bad thoughts and people aside and concentrate on what's important to you. Best of luck to you and if you ever get down, remember although I don't know you, someone is here praying for you and cheering you on. Sometimes we have to get ourselves better before we can help others. And your emotional health is just as important, ok? Good luck and best wishes for you and your family.

Answer 5

well i must say for a 18 year old you went through alot and you know what, it does not matter how old you are you seem to be happy with the man in your life and the baby is healthy and happy. So what if they look down at you at least you are supported and supportive. You will see one day the people that looked down at you will be sitting with no one, it always comes back to you. You must be proud of yourself look at the perants you had what did they give you ,and think about what you can give your husband and son. I had alot of friends that got pregnant during school and so what today they are better off then the snobs that looked down on all of us. Well done and dont give up with what you are doing with your life, you are doing a great job

Answer 6

sweetheart i myself was a young mom and my best advise to you is go on doing what your doing you have it all together and you and your husband are providing the best you can for yourselves and you son no one person has the right to judge another though everyone seems to think they do at some point or another and i say STUFF their opinions as they really DO NOT count one iota ,i think with the background you have had and the tough times you have been through you should be proud of who you are what you have done and how far you have come and from the honesty of your post i can see your of a better nature than those that judge let their opinions b like water off a ducks back take no notice

Answer 7

Hey trust me babes I don't have a problem with young mum's I was one also I had my first daughter a month after my 18th :) Never regret a moment of it I have 2 girls now and been married 15 years, I would never look down on you, just peoples ignorance. Sod them and enjoy your life, I too had serious problems when I was a child, my father sexually abused me and my mother used to beat me, due to this I treat my kids with loads of love and respect. We all turned out fine and I love my family and always will, have a great life and be happy I'm sure your a great mum.

Answer 8

I was 17 when I had my first child and got married shortly after that. Nobody thought we would make it, but 25 years later we are still together and I wouldn't change a thing. Don't worry what people say. If you had the perfect life they still would find something negative to say. Just devote your energy to your family. That's all that should matter. Screw them!

Answer 9

You seem to be the one upset with this, who cares? All of my daughter (4) married before they were eighteen and, they're all well and doing great.
You seem to be the one with the problems here.

Answer 10

Sounds like you are a great person you are doing better than your parents did for you keep up what you are doing and tell all the other people to kiss your *** they are just people they should not matter to you.