I feel totally left out. She never has time to do anything with me. It's always, "ohh, I'm sorry, I told Peter I'd hang out with him this weekend." and when we talk, it's only about him! He was gone on a college visit this past week and weekend and all we, meaning she, talked about was how much she missed him and how wonderful he is. I don't want to feel jelous and I don't want to hate him (he's really nice!), but I feel like the third wheel. We've been best friends for six years and now I get shoved aside because of someone she's dated for sixth months. Help!?
2007-05-07 16:38:33 · 16 answers · asked by lea 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry, but I can't just completly end our friendship. She is my absolute best friend and will be for the rest of my life.
2007-05-07 16:47:25 · update #1
Another thing - I tried talking to her and she just says "sorry! I'll try not to do it any more. it does seem kinda annoying." And what is she doing five minutes later? Gushing over him. I just want my friend back. Ever since she's been dating him, she has changed. and not for the better.....Also, another thing. I don't have any other really close friends to hang out with. they are all preoccupied with their boyfriends too. i hate being the odd one out.
2007-05-07 16:50:52 · update #2
I tell her all these things, but she just keeps on ignoring me. Am I a bad friend for being annoyed at her? I'm never going to be in her situation because no guys like me or will ever like me. I'm going to be the old spinster. and my best friend will be the one who is married to her high school sweetheart and has tons of kids.
2007-05-07 17:02:02 · update #3
ive been in the same shoes, just be happy for your friend.listening and understanding is the major responsibility of a true friend. anyway bf might go but not best friend.
2007-05-07 16:57:26 · answer #1 · answered by summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its the same way with me, my best friend never has time for her best friend when she's dating someone, yet expects me to answer the phone as soon as she calls. my suggestion, you sound like the better friend, if she cant make time for you, dont request time from her. I'm sure you are a great person.. trust me... I felt so much better! My best friend hasn't called me in over a month to hang out, unless she and her boyfriend get into a fight, and of course I feel like an idiot because Im always there when something happens.. anyway... i understand, you just have to stick up for yourself by finding something to do or someone else to hang out with that cares about you as well
2007-05-07 23:49:48 · answer #2 · answered by sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This kind of thing happened to me, too. My best friend has a boyfriend who she is ALWAYS with... and I mean always. Hanging out every day, visiting during work hours, even sleeping together at night. I get a bit jealous but I just ignore it because it's going to happen; the cootie days are over. I just hang out with my best friend and her boyfriend. I get kind of annoyed but hey, whatever. I think that when I get a boyfriend that I'm serious about, it'll be just the same and she'll feel the same way I do about her and her boyfriend. Haha, a bit mean.
2007-05-07 23:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there. My friend might move out of town with her bf. This is life. If you can work things out the friendship might end. But tis "friend" must be told that friends and family come first. Never put lover before friends. Love may last forever but frienship never ends. Even if the man comes between you this puppy love stage will be over and you girls will go back to normal.
2007-05-08 00:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by Mike D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is just the way it happens at times.... she is in a different zone right now..... but you do need to sit down with her and tell her how you are feeling about all this.... and do it in a NICE and none threatening way, keep your cool and do NOT lay a guilt trip on her...... just give her the facts , straight and simple...... and maybe suggest to her that the 2 of you make time once a wk to spend together..... get matching calanders and mark off the day and time that the 2 of choose together...... do not expect hours tho, start out with maybe 2 hours, long enough to eat, watch a movie, or just sit and talk while munching on chips or doing home work..... and remember some day you will be walking in those shoes, the shoes of first love.......... God bless
2007-05-07 23:49:45 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry you aren't left alone because my friend did that to me and when her boyfriend was away she a only talked about him so i just talked about the guy that i liked and when she started to talk to hiom again i started to say that we should hang out more and so we looked at our calendars and looked at what day we both had a lot of day open that were on the same day and so we made a lot of play dates. And so far everything is going good for us right now. and somrtimes i walk up to them and start to hang out with them and he she keeps on ignoring me then i am going to ask why she hans out with him then me becuase we have been friends longer and so i am going to ask her if she would choose him over me. and i think that is what you should do.
2007-05-07 23:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by lilfishyswimmer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't feel that way. it's normal for a girl to talk about a guy over and over again and talk about nothing but him. so what you could do is, get on your feet and start dating too. and by this you wouldn't feel like the 3rd wheel, or being left out.
find a guy you could spend time with. :) and talk it over with you bff. tell her how you feel about this whole situation you're in.
and she'll realize that she shouldn't forget about and ignore just because she's dating a guy. and after all, who would she run to if she gets dumped by the guy.. right?! ;)
2007-05-07 23:48:03 · answer #7 · answered by Kristine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a third wheel sucks. However, if you are good friends with both, you can still hang out with them often without it being awkward. You should tell your friend that you want to hang out with her more often. She will probably understand especially because I assume you don't have a boyfriend that's consuming your time?
2007-05-07 23:46:34 · answer #8 · answered by misleep1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's totally in love so give her a break! when you do hang out with her get excited for here and her bf then change the subject. when you three hang out together just act like your all good friends and get to know him.
2007-05-07 23:50:31 · answer #9 · answered by hope m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find someone else to hang out with, she's obviously all into this guy and will continue doing this for a while.
2007-05-07 23:47:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋