How do you deal with the anger at someone who repeatedly sexually abused you?

Answer 1

You may find that you need counseling in order to come to terms with the anger and to deal with it. You have suffered a major trauma and there is no shame in getting counseling to help you heal so that you can go on to lead as normal a life as possible. Without counseling, you may find that the abuse will negatively impact all your relationships, your sexual future and your ability to control your anger. You will also have major trust issues. Please seek some counseling.

Answer 2

I'm sure that you will need counseling to overcome this but there are some basic principals. You have to never let yourself get into a position where this person can abuse you again. You need to learn the principals of how to not get into a position with anyone where they can abuse you.

The basic principal behind what I just said is that you have to feel safe before you can let go of this anger. The other thing that needs to be done is that this person needs to be held accountable for what they did to you.

You were unable to protect yourself from this person before, now that needs to be turned around. You must demonstrate to yourself and to the abuser, that you have the power (legal) to stand up to the abuser. Often this means that the person must be reported to the police if this hasn't already happened. Also, sueing the abuser can help you to let go of the anger.

After this is done, you can work on forgiving the abuser. Not making excuses for what they did, but realizing that they had serious psychological problems. Often, people who are sexual abusers were sexually abused as children themselves.

I am so sorry that this happened to you. One of the issues that people who were sexually abused often have is they may think that they are partially to blame. That just isn't the case.

Answer 3

I have absolutely no experience with the anger that you must be feeling, but wanted to offer up some thoughts for you to consider:

Maybe your anger stems from a feeling of not being able to have control of the situation and the fact that the abuser had ALL of the control.

Hopefully the abuse has ended, but this person STILL has control over you and your emotions. How you react to a situation is actually a CHOICE that you make; it's a mind-set. You are ALLOWING this person to have control over your emotions.

As hard as it may be, TAKE BACK CONTROL. Don't allow this person to have ANY POWER over you what so ever any longer. This person probably loves seeing you miserable; don't give this person the satisfaction! Can you imagine how this person would feel if you no longer appeared to be phased by him?! This person is a no good, lousy, low-life that doesn't deserve to breathe.

Anger has a LOT of physiological effects on your body and your health. It will eat you up. It will consume your life and destroy your happiness and your future relationships. What's in the past is a tragedy that can't be changed. But YOU have the power to change the emotions that this person evokes. It may seem impossible, but your strength and power are there... just beneath your anger.

Maybe some kind of act that symbolizes letting go of the anger will help you. For instance, write your feelings down on paper, put them in a bottle and throw it in the ocean; or put them in a balloon, fill it with helium, and let the balloon go, sending it to God... turn it all over to Him, and let Him handle it.

Also, I HIGHLY recommend something called "Emotional Freedom Technique." (EFT) PLEASE check out this website: www.emofree.com. For me, it seemed kind of crazy at first, but it has worked for MANY situations in my life. (The following quote is from their website.) "Based on impressive new discoveries regarding the body's subtle energies, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) has been proven successful in thousands of clinical cases. It applies to just about every emotional, health and performance issue you can name and it often works where nothing else will."

You're a good person. You deserve a good life. Only YOU can change your future. You have the choice. You have the strength. You have the power. Let the anger go and unbury your strength and power. You owe it to yourself!

Answer 4

well i think it would be so much easier on you if you could avoid this person all together. Anger is a very strong emotion and very hard to lose. you will probably always have difficulties with this person because if it was someone close they broke your trust and I dont know if i could ever lose the anger for this person or begin to get any trust back for them

Answer 5

I would think of how sad and pathetic that person is to have had to taken advantage of you, and hope and pray that they get help. That you are a better person, and this will make you stronger in the end. Keep your head up, and you have to forgive them in your heart, to truly move on. Make sure you seek some kind of counselling!

Answer 6

It is VERY Hard!! It took me 3 years of intensive therapy and lots of anti-depressants and lots of screaming and crying and talking to anyone who would listen! Its hard but it is do-able! It was my dad and I wanted to literally kill him! I almost ran over him in my car one day. BUt now, I am not angry all the time, I am not ok with what he did but it doesnt consume me anymore. One day it just sort of clicked. You need to get counseling and find a way to forgive him or you will never stop being angry.

Answer 7

you will get all the im so sorrys and get counselling answers from anyone who has never been through anything like this. IMO just hide it and dont tell anyone. forget it ever happened and dont think about it. its not going to happen again now and whenever it overwhelms you, just think about how you could kill them in 10 years.