Her and my dad have gone through some tough times lately. My dad had a stroke and heart surgery and he wasn't able to work causing them to be evicted from their home. My dad is in a rehab center after the heart surgery and my mom was supposed to go to a shelter.
My mom has history of emotional problems, depression, breakdowns, manic behavior. So much was dealt with by my sister and myself growing up (abuse from both parents). My mom was recently put into a psych ward for her depression and this makes me happy to know that she hopefully will get the care and rehabilation that she has needed for so long. Is this a normal feeling?
And even though I haven't spoken to her in so long, for good cause, I was thinking about sending her fowers anonymously for mothers day. Do you think this would be a good idea or push her over the edge? I really only want her to get better, even if I never speak to her again.
2007-05-07 14:16:03 · 7 answers · asked by FaerieWhings 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It speaks volumes about your character that you would want to give your mother a special gift for Mothers day. Forgiveness, is something that we do not just for the recipient but for ourselves. You can always move on after forgiveness. That is not to say that you are giving any kind of approval for their actions. It is simply acknowledgment of the fact that given your parents abilities to parent you, that they did the best they could with what they knew about parenting. Even if that wasn't very much.
Anyway, if you think that you need to give a gift to brighten her day and that her knowing it was from you (which she will, after all it is MOTHERS day) will set her off or cause a bad situation than maybe you should not do it. Wait a while and send it on a day that is not so revealing. It will surely brighten her day and let her know that someone cares. She must be going through her own personal hell.
2007-05-07 14:32:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My relationship with my parents was rotten for many years. I spent 4 years away from all of my family. During that time alot of healing took place inside of me. There came a time I realized I had to forgive them and quit harboring bitterness. It was only making my life miserable. Tough thing to do when you are the victim of abuse. I came back into my family 6 years ago. The day I stood with my father (who raped me 5 years) and told him I was sorry for anything and everything I had ever done to hurt him was the hardest day of my life. Yet it has released me of so much guilt and shame. My mother however, was not very responsive. She knew of the abuse and choose to do nothing about it. So she has her own demons to deal with. One day we'll come together again. Listen, all that really matters is that you follow your heart. Don't be afraid to sign the card. It may prove to be a turning point in your relationship. Interestingly enough, my father nor my mother have ever said that they are sorry for what was done to me. Some days this really hurts and others I don't even think about it. My heart would love to hear I'm sorry. I won't give up hope and neither should you. Send the flowers girl.
2007-05-07 22:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by abigail 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, you love your mom. You will, in your lifetime only have one mother. When she is gone, you will think, "why didn't I tell her this? Why didn't I call her and tell her about so and so? If I were you, I would forget the anonymous stuff, go see her, the gift of YOU on mothers day will be the ultimate gift a mom could ever recieve. It isn't too late. I don't profess to be a smart man, but experience tells me I am correct. You will be happier than words can express if you do. Guaranteed. I had a good reason to not have anything to do with my dad for 25 years. I wish I had gone to him, forgave him, and trid to put it behind me. I did, after he died last year. Please don't wait as long as I did.
2007-05-07 21:43:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jimmie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flowers would be nice. I think they would help. She will know they came from one of her children and that will encourage her.
I am sorry you have had to go through so much. I hope that your dad gets better fast. If your mother gets the right type of treatment, she may be able to go on and leave a normal productive life too. Good luck.
2007-05-07 21:36:32 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too have not spoke to my mother in years and she has the some of the same problems yours does.
Although you choose to keep your distance from her, sending her flowers with a way to go card or best wishs card may be one of the things to keep her on the road to getting well. At least she has taken one of the first steps towards, go ahead and see if you can be a step upon the way of her recovery, who knows? She may recover enough to help you and your sister heal too!
2007-05-07 21:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by mrsmommaid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur not only one i haven't spoke my father for 20 years who is drinking problems and never be there for me.
but however i am sorry about ur situation but how come ur mom dont call u over 2 years or be there for u even if u sent the flower? :-\
2007-05-07 21:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if that would make you feel better.do it.its not your fault.good luck
2007-05-07 21:31:46 · answer #7 · answered by STALKER BLOCK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋