Well probably since the beggining of the year I've liked this girl, kinda quiet, in all my classes fairly attractive but not very popular, although I've been in other relationships I still find myself liking her, and very recently I found out she used to like me too...but the thing is she has a bf and not only does she have a bf, her bf is one of my best friends! but the thing is hes an a$$ (which makes me question my friendship but w/e) and shes nice and likes to stick up for the little guy (whom he quiet often abuses) and they way they started going out is he just sort of swooped in and made her like him...now they're in love and I find myself falling more in love with her everyday ... and I also feel crunched too do something cause I'm moving soon, and recently theyve had relationship problems and I found myself encouraging her to dump him, but trying to hide my feelings too...am I messed for that? am I messed for liking her?
2007-05-07 14:07:46 · 23 answers · asked by Burning out, not fading away 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Nirvana
To be honest with you I think that this stuff like this happens more than often. Judging by what you wrote, It seems like there is some mutual attraction between the two of you.
I really think what is happening is the fact that just by being best friends with this guy you know a lot about him AND her. I am sure there were those times where he seemed like he wasn't really serious about her and it is those lil things that make you feel like YOU are the better man. You probably are BUT...they are still a couple and i think you should respect that.
I think that if you pull yourself away from her, maybe she will have a change of heart and realize that she is with the wrong man(your friend). I also think pulling away will give you an answer as to how she feels about you. if she desires to be with you, then she will leave him.
When she comes to you, you won't be accused of "woman snatching".
Do what is morally correct and it will work itself out.
Hope this helps
Keith
2007-05-07 14:14:12 · answer #1 · answered by Keith D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, i dont think you're messed up or wrong. it's never wrong to like someone..but given the circumstances, it also isn't the best time. since you're going to be moving soon, i dont think you should get involved. lets just say everything goes well, she breaks up with her bf, you miraculously still manage to remain friends with the guy, and you and her start dating. you'd still have to endure the hardships of a long distance relationship, and a whole bunch of complications could come up. but if you really super like her, it doesn't hurt to take a chance. and even if it turns out badly, at least you tried.
good luck!
2007-05-07 14:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by ellieismypet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some ways you are wrong for trying to end them but you are not wrong for liking her. It is not your fault you didn't know she liked you but don't push for something, let it be and if you two are meant to be I honestly think it will happen. You are moving so let her know before you go your feelings. If it is meant to be let it flow and it will happen all in good time. Your emotions will heal but if you pressure them into breaking up you could lose a close, dear friend and a girl/boy is never worth doing that. Friendships last longer then your girlfriend/boyfriend and they will and always have been there for you.
2007-05-07 14:16:06 · answer #3 · answered by Daniel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out the average marriage age: mid to late twenties, right? That is good news: most relationships before then end in a breakup. Stick around, and be friends to both. Trust me, if he is a loser, she will eventually get tired and leave him. Now, be really nice to both, be a good friend, and do everything you can to support their relationship. Sounds silly, but the laws of physics says that they will break up, so if you behaved decently while they were dating, she'll dig you after the break up.
A guy in a similiar sitution tried this and it really worked. Be everything the guy isn't. Find out what she likes, and do it, take her to her favorite movie. Be a girlfriend. Go shopping with her. Listen to her sympathetically. Do what ever she really likes and SHE thinks is cool. If its something you(and most guys) don't care for, she will appreciate it even more. For example, take her to see a sappy chick flick during superbowl or big game. Then she will talk to her friends about her really really super cool superman guypal and her hot abusive bf. Then peer pressure will kick in your favor.
Get to know her well enough to tease her, touch her joking and encourage your friend to join in the fun. However, when your friend crosses the line, in private, tell him gently, but very firmly, that his behavior is not appropriate, of course its his business, but just so he knows its technically called abuse. Do NOT ever say that infront of her. Later, ONLY after they break up, and she calls him swearwords, you tell her you talked to him quietly about it, stood up for her like a gentleman, and the guy just ignored it. Let it be a surprise that will warm up her heart after you are suffering through shopping or chick flicks to help her with the bad break up.
When they break up, she will call you, you bring over chocolates to indulge as her best male girlfriend, then she realizes how hot you are, how nice you are, and under the influence of chocolate, will totally go for you! Trust me, it almost never fails (unfortunately). Her ex will still be your friend because you were firm with him, and said he didn't treat her right. You never say you stole his chick, but say," look you totally messed her up during the break up, and I had to mop up your mess by (shopping, chocolates, etc), and she looked at me with those puppy eyes, and how could I say no?" Blame him!
2007-05-07 14:38:06 · answer #4 · answered by Madame Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like her that much swoop in but you have to be better than what she has already or even better pretend to be her friend but not a bff friend a friend that is a friend but will date her if you had the opportunity then see how it goes she may confide in you she may start to see how sweet you are but get close first so you'll know your steal her strategy also if he isn't a close friend bump him ..I'll bet he'll kick your back in if you let him since he's an *** he probably already have.
2007-05-07 14:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by maqwa2002 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what is your problem?????
you said your moving soon.....then who cares what they are doing or how she has changed
Your heart might be breaking right now but boy you have to wake up and smell the roses.
It is hard right NOW but you will fall in love sooooo many more times.
You will look back at this in years to come with your wife sitting by your side and laugh at the photos of memories of when you were just a teenager
2007-05-07 14:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can not control your feelings but you can control your actions. Do not interfere especially when this guy is one of your best friends. Even if they are having relationship problems and he is a jerk to her, she needs to leave him on her own accord. If she leaves him for you, you will be happy at first but then will start to be doubtful of her character because if she could leave him for another guy, she may leave you for another guy as well. If you objectively think that this relationship is destructive for her well being, advise her to consult another person (one is who is not emotionally attached to the situation)
2007-05-07 14:17:23 · answer #7 · answered by yumsorbet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's messed up that you want them to break up but if you really love her and think it's true love not just something that'll pass with time then let her know before you move you should never miss an opportunity when you get one cause it could change your life forever.
2007-05-07 14:16:00 · answer #8 · answered by Sexychick 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Now which you be conscious of her features, flow on. keep in mind she cheated on you, left you for yet another guy, then replaced her innovations after crawling returned to you. feels like she's taking you for a experience. flow on. Screw her for as long as you prefer, yet do not flow previous acquaintances with advantages. and don't think of on the subject of the form you like her anymore. Get a extra perfect lady
2016-10-15 01:33:55 · answer #9 · answered by rode 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is hard, but always be there for her. find out what her boyfriend thinks of her and what she thinks of him. If they have a bump in the relationship let them fix it otherwise they'll never work and bf and gf.
2007-05-07 14:17:00 · answer #10 · answered by soccer_queen216 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋