i still have strong feelings for this girl who use to like me too, but we now live 500 miles away and are dating other people... but last night she told me that she was cutting herself and hadn't told anybody else. i don't know what i can do bc of the distance so i just gave her my phone number and told her to call me if she ever felt like hurting herself. was this the right thing to do? i also got her hooked up with some counseling services where my old school (where she goes is). why would she not talk to me for a while then come to me with this? what does that mean? she also told me that she lost her virginity and her body feels weird. why the hell would she tell me that but not her bf? bc i care about her, it hurt to hear that she had slept with him... she also said "at first i thought my feelinngs for you were only bc of your writing." (i wrote her poems) and she posted 2 poems that could be about me on her myspace.
2007-05-07 14:00:57 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, based on the revealing information she told you, she trusts you. Maybe she tells you this because of the distance? She might not even feel like she can confide in her boyfriend. Maybe she feels that he won't be able to look at her the same and won't accept her, but she knows you will still accept her. Good job with hooking her up with counseling. You wouldn't want her life going in the wrong direction. She still cares for you. Don't go away from her because obviously, she's in need of your help right now. Just keep up working with her. You don't even have to give her advice. Sounds to me that she just wants someone trustworthy to talk to.
2007-05-07 14:09:01 · answer #1 · answered by yeaa, thats her.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she told you bc deep down in side she really cares about you, and knows that you really care about her. Why did you think that she told you all this stuff and nobody else? She knows that you are going to take care of her, and she can trust you to do that. What pains you is that you know that you can't be with her right now. What you need to do is take care of her, bc that is what she needs. Maybge she cut herself bc she is depressed that you moved away. And maybe she slept with that guys bc she was hoping that that would ease her pain of missing you. You have to look at the whole picture.
2007-05-07 14:10:06 · answer #2 · answered by mekaylahall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who cut themselves are people who are hurting inside and don't have any other release than to transfer it to physical pain. Usually they act very ashamed of it and go great lengths to hide it. The fact that she told you this (on top of the other stuff) means she's reaching out for someone, and she still feels safe confiding in you.
First of all, listen to her. Cutting isn't neccessarily suicidal but if she's that depressed she's cutting she could fall into suicidal thinking. Just be very aware of the language she uses, if it gets worse.
Second of all, good call with giving her the counselling services. But, realize she may not want to reach out to them. If you think it's getting worse, be a real friend and go over her head, tell her parents or the counselling service directly.
Also, I say good call in saying to call if she felt the urge to cut herself. Realize she may not always take you up on the offer but it's a great thing for her to have you there.
Last, put any romantic feelings you have for her aside for a moment. Don't worry about whether her poetry is about you. You have someone who is hurting and has reached out to you for some help, getting her through this healthy is more important than whether you hook up or not.
2007-05-07 14:12:07 · answer #3 · answered by anon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Caring is about her is cool. But you need to beware. This female has deeper psychological issues. Most people that cut their selves is a way to relieve the frustration and hurt they have. Her telling you is a cry for help. You would think that she would share something like that with her boyfriend. On the other hand think about this. Maybe, just maybe she has a deeper feeling for you. You care! She's looking for attention where others lack to give. And to her perhaps you are the savior. In that situation you need to be real care full. Mentally unstable people like her are capable of putting caring people like yourself in bad situations. Take Care.
2007-05-07 14:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by Aquina D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting her help was a good thing to do. keep in mind though that this could be for attention to make her feel loved. Maybe she'd really stressed out right now. I understand completely how you feel. This also could be really serious most of all just let her know that nothing is soo bad, and you only get what you can handle. and that you're always there for her
Good Luck
2007-05-07 14:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by *Miss C* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the two flow to her or have her come over on your place. the earlier, the extra perfect. clarify on your chum how, no count how indignant or depressed she is stable now, or how depressing her existence could be, suicide won't remedy something. It actual won't help HER, simply by fact she would be waiting to not be alive anymore, and it will purely reason much extra issues for each guy or woman else. attempt to assist her comprehend, I mean fairly comprehend, the meaning of dying. She could be idealizing or romanticizing it acceptable now, not understanding how intense it is. dying isn't noble or heroic. as quickly as you're ineffective, it is it - there is no going returned. EVER. She's have been given her complete existence ahead of her, and lots left to stay for, if only she gets through this. permit her communicate or cry or regardless of she needs to do to determine it out. do not galvanize her. She's already on the sting because it is. tell her that killing herself could mean she's giving up. tell her that she's extra suitable than that. Suicide does not practice something. save her far off from any weapons or something that she could desire to apply to harm herself. do not permit her attempt something. Use stress in case you need to. tell her that she could hate you for this acceptable now, yet that that is for her own stable and which you're doing it considering you're her chum. regardless of you do, do not permit HER out of your SIGHT. And please, tell A in charge grownup. i wish this works.
2016-10-15 01:33:04 · answer #6 · answered by rode 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she may be making all of this up to get attention, OR she might really have some problems. You did the right thing, but if she continues this, call her mother or father at work or while she is in school and tell them what she is telling you and say that you are worried about her.
2007-05-07 14:05:50 · answer #7 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are three kinds of people who cut themselves. There are those who honestly do it to mask emotional pain with physical pain (exceedingly rare), those who do it to get attention (far more common), and those who do it compulsively and do not know why (less common).
The common factor of those who do it to mask other pain are that it is a very private thing to them. They don't tell anyone about it.
Those who do it for attention may do it for attention in general, and will all but display their scars for everyone to see, or they may do it for one or two peoples attention specifically.
And those who do it compulsively and don't know why will often seek help.
So essentially this girl falls into one of two groups. Either she is specifically trying to get your attention, or she is doing it compulsively and looking to you for help.
Now you were worried about her and gave her your number and such- if she was seeking attention, shes got it. I would stay in contact with her and keep an eye on her. If you stay in steady contact with her and she doesn't cut herself anymore, its a safe bet she was trying to get your attention. On the other hand, if she continues even when you're giving her attention, she was looking for help.
I would also stated that I am not a psychologist, and I don't know the specifics of this case. I'm going with whats the norm with this kind of activity.
2007-05-07 14:09:54 · answer #8 · answered by smashcruiserarc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she has serious emotional problems which are too complicated for you to deal with. Let the professional counselors help her.
I assume that she is telling you all of this because it makes her feel imporant to be the center of attention, and that she is desperate for it. I assume that if you encourage her by paying too much attention to her, then you are "rewarding" her bad behavior, which might encourage her to do worse things to herself to get more attention.
2007-05-07 14:08:39 · answer #9 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels comfortable talking to YOU.... or she is getting attention.....or SHE REALLY likes you and wants your affection and love...The distance is a tad bit far....perhaps she feels that if she makes an urgent comment on self-destructive behaviour you might save her from herself....Or well yeah we are all human and you need to ask her straight out she confided in you about her cutting herself so you now need to find the root of her emotions! good luck
2007-05-07 14:05:47 · answer #10 · answered by Sexah Mamma :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋