Letting your children watch you give birth at home?

Question

I was just wondering what peoples thoughts on this were. My cousin has just given birth to her 4th child. Like all the others she wanted to do it at home...which she did. They took the youngest to grandma's and let the 2 older ones stay behind to experience the whole thing. They are almost 7 & 5..both girls. They got to watch the whole entire thing and thought it was very interesting, cool and were very excited to be there. The younger one said she never wants to have babies now because it looks so painful..and I'm guessing because of all the blood? They had a tonn of questions and my dear cousin asnwered every single one of them. She's told them from long ago where babies really come from. They're very open with everything, she tells them pretty much everything. That's a penis, that's a vagina, the obvious..where the baby comes from etc etc...

I just wanted to know what everyone thought of this idea? I'm not one to judge her, I told her straight up that I just couldn't do that! :)

jpgregor - Go for what?? I'm not pregnant! Did you even read the whole thing or just the title??

Answer 1

Hmmm, I kind of roll my eyes at people that invite the family and neighborhood to the birth. My mother wanted in on mine so bad but our rule was if you weren't at the conception you can't be at the delivery. I had a c-section any way. They wouldn't have let her in. Only my husband. I'm all for answering kids questions but believe sometimes just the answer is fine. They don't need a play by play. Did they get to watch her parents make this baby too.

Answer 2

I would think it would feel normal for your own children to be around if you were giving birth at home, as long as you had enough adult carers to look after them so you and your birth attendant(s) were not distracted by their needs.
I would make it clear to them and their baby-sitter/father what I expected at the outset: whether they come in just some of the time, and what to expect in terms of pushing noise, because you wouldn't want them to be distressed by this.
Children have questions about everything: it's up to the individual how you choose to answer. You don't have to answer everything graphically, whilst still giving them facts appropriate to their age and understanding.
It's very confusing for children when adults are so evasive about the facts of life; then suddenly they're a teenager and then a young adult and the truth has not been introduced gradually.
If you're giving birth at home, having your children witness some of the process is probably part and parcel of your general holistic outlook.

Answer 3

I am not brave enough to do the whole birth thing at home with no pain medication, but I have given birth to three boys in the hospital. In my town the children are allowed to share in the birthing experience, no matter what age, if the parents wish. My sons are 13, 6, and 21 months.

Your question takes me back to when I was pregnant with my second son. My eldest son asked me where babies come from, and since I am a nurse, I decided to be open and honest with him. I explained everything to him as best I could, considering he was only 7 at the time. He then asked me how the baby was going to get out of my belly. I in turn asked him how he thought the baby was going to get out, and to this question he replied "your belly button." I got a chuckle out of his answer, but it was at that moment that I decided I would take him into the delivery room with me to show him how the baby got out. It was easier to let him see than to try and explain something so graphic to him.

He was not grossed out by the baby coming out, but by the afterbirth. He got to hold the baby as soon as he was born, and this was something very exciting to him. Hopefully it will make him want to do the same with his own children, when he has them.

I think it's a positive experience for children to share in the birthing experience as it makes them feel they are a part of the family. I strongly recommend it to anyone.

Answer 4

I guess it depends on the maturity of the children. I bet some children would be scared to see something as dramatic as childbirth. It sounds like your cousin's kids didn't mind, though, so I guess it was a positive, enriching experience for them. I know that for the birth of my son, I felt like the fewer people in the room, the better. I did it in a hospital, though. My in-laws kept coming in the room and bothering me, so I finally had the nurse tell everyone only my husband was allowed with me. My mother in law kept telling me how bad her labor was for her when she had my husband. I was like, "Hello! I'm in terrible pain now. I don't want to hear about what happened with your labor at the moment". I would have been a nervous wreck if children had seen everything. To each their own I guess.

Answer 5

no not really a good idea, maybe when they hit the age of 10 that might be okay. atleast they may have abit more of an understanding at 10. she may have just turned those kids off having kids of their own.
i watched my mum have my little sister, i was 18 at the time and it was the most beautiful thing ever. i now have a son of my own, even tho i saw how much pain mum was in i still had one.

Answer 6

it depends on how the parents decide to raise their child. everybodys parenting style is different. i honestly don't think there is anything wrong with what she did. i have always been upfront and honest with my child and seem to have a very similar parenting style as your cousin. just look at it this way, at least her daughters will think twice about having sex at a young age!

Answer 7

Ill be interested in seeing the answers. My 12 year old-will be 13- wants to be present when our newest is born in early December. I really dont think its a place for my child though even though she would be able to handle it.

Answer 8

is not good to letting your children which you give birth to a baby go to a hosiptal and have it here not at home

Answer 9

I don't think I would at that age, maybe if they were older.

Answer 10

GO FOR IT