I've always wanted to be like the women who are daring to approach the men who they like. Would you be turned off if I were to ask you out, I'm a pretty cute girl, but I'm tired of waiting for them to make the first move. I wanna mix up the rules.
2007-05-07 13:35:25 · 26 answers · asked by Leo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is a turn-off only if he doesn't like you -- otherwise it is a turn-on (just like when a girl gets approached by a guy -- we are just as human as you are).
Honestly, I get kind of tired of women thinking that men are not "people". We have the same emotions that women have. Think about how you would act act when a stranger approaches YOU at the bar? He will react the same way to a stranger approaching him, as a woman would under the same circumstances.
BTW, self-confidence is sexy. Act positive and casually friendly (but not too friendly -- that implies desperation -- which is a turn-off), and you will do fine.
-----Edit-----
Try answering this guy's question (especally the person giving everyone the thumbs down). He wants to know why women have a problem asking a guy out:
2007-05-07 13:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Break the rules!
Men and Women may respond to different cues, adhere to different social norms and whatnot, but we are all just human.
Men and women are all just looking to make a human connection. Nobody wants to get burned. Nobody wants to be rejected.
However, there is a lot of fear involved for both men and women and while that is safe and perhaps somewhat justified. It TOTALLY gets in the way of human connection, which is what we all realy want!
If you are able to conquer your fear and make the first move, go for it! That is great and the guy you pick will certainly be psyched you made the first move....so long as he is confident.
A man without confidence will be put at ill-ease by your advance. In this case, however, at least you know and you can walk the other way.
The only other caution which comes up concerns male/female roles.
If you are a woman who desires a more masculine man, then perhaps your making the first move would spoil that? If you are OK with a bit more equality and you won't expect the guy to be all masculine and aggressive, then cool.
I guess, if you are wanting some sort of alpha male dude who is dripping with confidence, then he should have made the move on you already, right?
If the guy in question would never come over to talk to you, he might not be that guy, and therefore you might be disappointed. If you don't need such an extreme male and you can handle taking that role, then go for it and enjoy the dude!
2007-05-07 13:47:49 · answer #2 · answered by shaymana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im an extremely romantic, sensitive, funny nice guy (toot, toot), but im also really shy. The two girls that have ever really gotten to know me (for even a short time) were telling me they were falling in love with me within about 3 days each. Ive only ever had 2 girl friends even though theres not much else I want more than to have another one. This is mainly due to the fact I dont know how to introduce myself to chicks without feeling like I appear to be a creep or something like that.
It would be extremely flattering to me to be approached by a girl who is showing interest in me. I'll be honest though: if im not at all attracted to the girl coming up to me im probably going to just be made uncomfortable. That may sound shallow, but thats just how it is, male or female, physical attraction is a factor if we're talking about romantic relationships. Thats not to say they still couldnt be a good friend, but again im reffering to a girl coming up to me with romantic intentions.
Everyone is different though of course, some guys might view it as desperate or slutty or something, but thats just stupidity at work.
Of course, when a girl introduces herself to me and starts hinting to me she just wants some action, which ive had happen a few times, I find myself getting kind of disgusted by that. If she got to know me and was friendly and then wanted a little action on the side... well that would at least make me not feel like a pen1s with legs. I wish I were secure enough to go for that kind of thing without my feelings getting in the way, but im a pretty sensitive kind of guy.
2007-05-07 13:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by delasoul1985 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how many pints I have in me system, LOL! And please don't take this the wrong way, but when some girls say they're pretty or cute, it's not in a way that some guys would describe them. If guys aren't approaching you it could be something about you that's causing it. Take a closer look in the mirror and see what may be the problem first before you start approaching random guys in bars. That in itself sounds desperate, you know?
2007-05-07 13:38:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on what you're looking for. I would think that most men would like to be approached. But I thnk that some "nice" guys might get the wrong idea about you. If you're going to make "a move", I suggest you start out as subtle as you can (like eye contact or swishing your hair, etc.) and crank it up a notch (like smiling, saying "hi", stuffing him in a sack and dragging him home, etc.) each time you don't get the desired response. Good luck.
2007-05-07 13:54:03 · answer #5 · answered by vinny_the_hack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Most women at the 'bar scene' in general turn me off. If she approaches me and says "hey sexy, wanna come back to my place?"....yes, that turns me OFF. If she approaches me and says "I'd like to get to know you a little better, can we sit and have a drink"....then I might start to think I have a 'keeper' here.
Now-a-days, it's just as easy for a guy of moderate looks, and moderate 'game'....to get laid any night of the week. I choose not to take that path. I like women of intellect, morals, and intelligence. Most, not all, of the women at bars, are far from that. In my opinion
2007-05-07 13:41:49 · answer #6 · answered by rob20850 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
On the contrary, I would love it if you or any other women approached me at the bar and asked me out. Plus there are no real rules to dating these days, you basically do whatever you want. So all the power to ya! Go up to those men and ask them out. Just be careful!
2007-05-07 13:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No.
I'm not a robot, and I won't automatically respond, nor assume said woman wants to go all the way just because she's being sociable.
But some dickheads do. So..it's a public space, not a public disgrace.
There ain't no rules.
Master Anarchy.
2007-05-07 13:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by Master Anarchy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I definitely dig that in a woman. Takes out all the work for me. Be careful however, some men tend to judge such a forward attitude as a woman just 'trying to give it up'. Why not try some obvious glances and and big smiles; maybe even a wave...
2007-05-07 13:39:48 · answer #9 · answered by Pete F 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No... while some men are uncomfortable with a little change, I personally like someone willing to bend the rules and "tip the scales" in her favor... it keeps me guessing. And it lets me know that she knows what (or who) she wants and how to get it.
It also signifies that she's got something between her ears (other than hair), which is more of a turn-on for me than dating an airhead.
Hope this helps.
--Jake
2007-05-07 13:38:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋