Me (24) and my girlfriend (19) had sex on saturday, and she was a virgin, so I tried to be careful but she kept complaining that it hurt, but anyway she let me tie her arms up, and we started having sex, but the whole time she was screaming, crying, and telling me to stop, but I thought she just liked it. Now she is telling me that I raped her ?! I have no clue what to do :( I didn't mean to hurt her.
Additional Details
She said it was ok at first ??
2007-05-07 12:51:51 · 34 answers · asked by Matt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow ... you might want to find a lawyer ... lol ... sorry ... !
2007-05-07 12:54:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, it was consensual so you may be able to fight it if she was to press any charges against you.
However, she WAS a virgin, and if you're 24, then you should have known that a woman's first time NEVER feels good! Normally, the first time will only last a few minutes. When a girl is crying, then believe me, it isn't feeling good for her AT ALL. I cannot believe you're almost a quarter of a century old and don't even know that it's extremely painful for a woman to have sex for the first time.
Consensual sex, yes..rape, maybe. Learn from your mistakes.
2007-05-07 13:01:17 · answer #2 · answered by Brin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person who suggested finding a lawyer is right on the money. Do it. You have received A LOT of bad advice so far. Call a lawyer immediately; ask a relative for money if you must. I refuse to say anything resembling legal advice, but a lot of what has been suggested here would be tantamount to hanging yourself.
That aside, you MUST understand this. Bondage games, which I assume you thought you were playing, require very specific rules. One is a "code word" that means "stop everything and untie me right now". You must be inexperienced yourself if you didn't have a code word.
You have some real problems and should be in counseling. You showed very, very poor judgment in trying bondage with a virgin. Screaming, crying and telling you to stop should have been enough to stop you, especially given her level of inexperience. It will take a heavy stint of counseling to figure out why it wasn't. Whether you receive it in jail or in the community will depend on what you do right now.
2007-05-07 12:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accepting to have sex with you, being a virgin, I think means that whatever comes next is not rape, she could have asked you to release her arms for instance, or she could have asked you to stop right at the start, and not after letting tie her arms, unless you were the one who asked her to accept that step.
In my culture, it is NOT acceptable to do so, from you side, as well as from your g/f's reaction, so the whole issue should not be happening in my point of view, that would have saved you a lot of pain and suspection. wouldn't it?
2007-05-07 13:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by Dr.Dina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she'll eventually come back and ask to try again, just exsplain to her that you didn't know what to do and next time it'll be better. but I don't think she'll be spreading her legs any time soon. number one thing is NEVER tie a girl up intill she has gotten into the sex to a point where she really good at sex, its actually easier for a girl to loose her virginity when she is younger around the age of 16 because it gets more painful as they get older. note look at the girls who had sex at 16 they say that there first time was a lil painful or not even painful at all, but as for your girlfriend was 19 and it was exstreamly painful, so she just need to get over it. it scared her and she is now thinking about it in other ways but will eventually realize that she did agree and it wasn't your fault.
Your fist time is suppose to be special and enjoyable just sometimes things isn't what they are suppose to be.
2007-05-07 13:44:37 · answer #5 · answered by eclipsefreak 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I bet her name was Elizabeth wasn't it? Dude, pack ur bags and flee while u can. lying bastard, u know full well it was rape. What kind of a sick ****** retard are u? She was crying, for god's sake. I swear I hope u die. Was it really worth it? Are u proud of urself? Stay the hell away from the girl, christ I'm surprised ur not locked up. And don't try to make excuses, u had complete control over ur actions, rapist. I hope u know this is going to affect u for the rest of ur life, people looking at u in disgust (especially ur family), nightmares, regret. And u know what else? You deserve it. Oh and report abuse if u like for my comment, but if so you're one hell of a filthy hipocrit. My advice : Go do everyone a favour and jump of a bridge.
2007-05-09 05:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by spark 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that is clearly rape.
Rape fantasies are for experienced couples and those experienced sexually. They're carefully planned and can be done legally between consenting adults. To claim that a virgin consented to this gives you no case whatsoever. I believe you're in a world of trouble.
2007-05-07 12:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by House M.D. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is if she said stop you should have stopped. She is young and if it was her first time I'm sure she was scared and it does hurt. Usually when someone says stop and they don't that is rape. I hope things work out for you. Good Luck
2007-05-07 12:58:21 · answer #8 · answered by Debbie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would have said no, except you said she was "screaming and crying" for you to stop. I could be view that was because she asked you to stop. Please understand, the first time is very painful for women, it would have been better to stop and make sure she was alright. You really need to talk to her and see were she is on this situation. Trend the waters lightly
2007-05-07 12:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by Rhoda J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you think she was enjoying it if she was screaming stop? Personally I feel sorry for you because she night take that to court and the judge will not buy your story. But here's the thing she did say okay but maybe you shouldn't have tied her up because that's big evidence for her lawyer.
2007-05-07 12:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by Mariniac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as she started having doubts, you should have stopped. It doesn't matter what she said at first. If she was crying, then you needed to stop, take a chill pill and think it over first.
***You should never have tied her up. You took away her only means of defense, making it worse for her.
2007-05-07 12:56:12 · answer #11 · answered by Traveler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋