My view is that I've "earned" it but I know others feel differently. What is the etiquette involved?
2007-05-07 10:09:55 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Lighten up people! What if he says he doesn't want it?!!
2007-05-07 10:18:13 · update #1
Did you break the engagement? If you did, I think it is proper etiquette to return the ring... sorry.
2007-05-07 10:13:58 · answer #1 · answered by Thespiana 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some states’ laws dictate that the ring must be given back because it was a gift. Other states agree that if the man broke off the engagement, the woman has the right to keep the ring. Other states look at engagement rings as unconditional gifts that the bride can keep regardless of the circumstances. Finally, if the ring is an heirloom, there may be a question about the ethics of returning the ring. In general, it is in good taste for the woman to offer to return the ring after a broken engagement, while the man is free to refuse it. For very expensive or heirloom rings, couples may want to have a prenuptial agreement drawn up before the wedding.
2007-05-07 17:25:43 · answer #2 · answered by ♫Rock'n'Rob♫ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most traditional and even modern etiquette resources say that the woman must at least offer to return the ring. And if you want the opinion of a lawyer, the laws of most states would require you to give the ring back as well. Ask Yahoo addressed this question about 3 years ago...check out the link below.
2007-05-07 19:06:26 · answer #3 · answered by Carl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends. An engagement ring is essentially a symbol of a contract between a couple. Depending on which partner broke the contract (meaning you broke up before you were wed) determines whether or not you return the ring. If he breaks up with you or nullifys the contract by cheating, you would keep the ring. Conversely, if you break up with him or you nullify the contract, it is proper that you return the ring. If he declines taking the ring back, then you may keep it.
Years ago, Charlie Sheen was engaged to Kelly Preston. He cheated, she broke up with him and chose to keep the ring
(valued at about $250K.) He took her to court and the judge ruled in her favor based on the fact that Sheen had violated their "contract."
If a marriage takes place, the ring then is the property of the bride. If the couple divorces, she is under no obligation, legal or otherwise, to return the ring, it is hers.
2007-05-07 19:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by eunosgirl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Proper etiquette would be to return the ring to your fiance. I don't know why you would want to keep the ring given to you by a man that you will not be marrying, unless it is out of spite. Spite in the sense that you think you can sell it for the money for your humiliation.
Just be glad you found out now that he wasn't the right man for you. Return the ring. Then you will both know that you have moved on.
2007-05-07 18:32:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the engagement is broken, the ring must be returned. It wasn't a gift in the regular sense, but rather a symbol of the promise to get married. If the guy says he doesn't want it back, return it to his mom, or someone in his family.
2007-05-08 11:26:41 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The debate on this is usually split... some say keep it, some say return it. Technically, it was a gift he gave to you, and therefore should not carry any condition (such as marriage). So you have the right to keep it.
However, if the engagement was broken by you or was your fault (for example, you cheated on him, you got cold feet, etc), then it would be POLITE (but not absolutely required) to return the ring to him as an act of contrition or apology.
Good point, I'd also suggest returning it if it was a family heirloom... in that case it wasn't so much a gift to you personally as a trust to carry on the family line. It would carry more sentimental value to him than to you.
2007-05-07 17:18:10 · answer #7 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
She is right she earned it. People it all depends on how long they have been together. Was it a promise ring first...did she help pay for it. Did he cheat... This is not Hollywood man. Let the woman keep the ring. I am sorry I kept mine when the engagement was broken.
2007-05-07 19:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by Hello 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The engagement gift is considered to be a gift, and as such, you do not have to return it. Legally. Check out your state laws, but my state says that it is the property of the intended bride.
Some people feel that if the girl breaks it off, she should give the ring back, and if you feel this way, fine. But if he broke it off, you really don't have to give it back!
2007-05-07 18:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the engagement is broken off, then yes, return the ring.
You've earned your memories. Keep those and cherish them forever, but don't hold too fast to might-have-beens. I'm sorry it didn't work out.
2007-05-07 17:52:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋