It's his first time in-- a misdemeanor. He's 18.
2007-05-07 09:49:34 · 54 answers · asked by John 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
If you could not control him and keep him from jail in the first place...I would let him stay. He has to realize that there are consequences for his actions. He is 18...he is perfectly able to make decisions on his own.
YOu need only to continue to love him and believe in him...but, it is not your duty to bail him out when he makes stupid decisions.
2007-05-07 09:52:31 · answer #1 · answered by G.C. 5 · 7⤊ 5⤋
He can't be in too long on a misdermeanor arrest...what 1-2 days. Let him sit. When he calls tell he he needs to learn you are not being mean its tough love. When he gets out support him, help him beat his case. And, let him know that that is the last legal help he's getting. He knows it sucks in there so he shouldn't do ANYTHING that can send him back to jail because Mom's Pro Bono legal aid is closed. You love him and he is 18 time to be a man....go to school or get a job...He can do it!
2007-05-07 10:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by db14 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he stays in jail, he might learn a lesson. Or he might learn what it feels like to take it up the **s from a guy twice his size. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, just realistic. Those things do happen in jail, especially to young people. I would bail my son out the first time, if it was a non-violent offense. Note I said FIRST time.
2007-05-07 09:57:44 · answer #3 · answered by Nathan S 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It's your choice and it depends on your relationship with your son. If your son had intent and the relationship between you and your son suggests the meaning of bailing him out will be lost on him, then let him sit in prison and get to know the guys real well.
On the other hand, if you have compassion for your son and know he didn't intentionally commit this misdemeanor and he was wrongfully arrested and is a good boy, maybe you should bail him out.
It's up to you. I do not know your circumstances.
2007-05-07 09:55:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
I believe you should bail him out being this is his first offense. If you leave him in there, it may serve to place greater distant between the two of you. Talk to him without getting angry and see if there is any remorse. If he does it again, then by all means, let him become a man by dealing with his own problems.
2007-05-07 10:11:26 · answer #5 · answered by reverendrichie 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
For Pete's Sake, LEAVE HIM THERE!!! He is well past the age of accountability, and most likely knows he shouldn't have been doing whatever he was doing. I am surrounded by people who are constantly helping their adult children, making excuses, and enabling them. You might not think bailing him out once will hurt anything, but the pattern of enabling has to start somewhere. You should require him to be accountable for his own life--he will learn a good lesson.
2007-05-07 09:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by An Inconvenient Thinker 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Bail him, if u r not there for him who will?? there r many ways to teach him right from wrong, abandoning him is the worst nothing will be learned except maybe he will think u don't care.
U want him to grow up then treat him like one.
2007-05-07 10:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by Hope 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think I would bail him out, but that would also depend on the context of his crime.
I mean is he otherwise a decent human being or is he a lazy bum who is using everyone in his life while he caters to his every little whim?
If this is his first real blunder, then I would go ahead and bail him out.
If he is always pushing his luck and this is the first time he actually got caught? Leave him in there.
Either way, I would get some SERIOUS HOME REPAIRS and YARD WORK out of him when he does get out. :)
2007-05-07 09:58:08 · answer #8 · answered by SelfnoSelf 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
This is a hard one, but you are really the only one who can answer that. You know better than anyone how well your son reacts to situations as this. Have you rescued him before in other situations, and will he expect you to do the same this time? If so, he will not learn from the mistakes if you keep rescuing him from his falls..........If this is truly the first time he has ever been in any trouble, and you believe he is sorry for his actions, then you might want to get him out. I would however let him know that the first time is a mistake and you can forgive that. But if he lands in there again, he is on his own!.........Tough love is sometimes the route we as parents have to take. Sometimes we have to do what hurts us as parents, to keep our children from harm. When we discipline our children out of love, they will go away with a greater respect and a better direction in life. ...........I pray as a parent and grandparent myself, you will never have to endure this kind of heartache again.....Lord bless
2007-05-07 10:01:05 · answer #9 · answered by heavenboundiwillbe 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Leave him in he'll learn a lesson.
Some jail lessons:
Where to buy the best drugs
where the hookers hang out
how to hot wire a car
how to flim-flam
best way to lie in court
B&E 101
advanced mugging techniques
and how to play cribbage.
2007-05-07 10:15:22 · answer #10 · answered by capekicks 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋