is our relationship doomed already?

Question

here are the good and bad things about my girlfriend. the bad things really are big problems for me.. do you think i can change her or that she will change in time? (shes 19 years old, im 18.) ive only been with her for a couple of months but shes prepared to move a long way to be with me, so i think i should be kind of sure it would work before she moves.

good stuff:

- shes loving, caring, affectionate
- shes in love with me
- shes passionate
- shes funny and great to be around
- shes beautiful and has an incredible body
- when were together we have sex a lot

bad stuff:

- she is ordinary and so is her style - shes not that unique
- she is narrow minded (she doesnt like any truck drivers cos one of her friends said all truck drivers cheat on their wives.. sort of ridiculous.. also she doesnt like gays)
- she isnt that talented at anything
- she doesnt need a career which involves helping people

Answer 1

Don´t try to change people.Talk about the things with her,and ask her how she see the things,how she feels about the things.
Change ideas without pressure.Like the truck drivers,why she believes her friend,what the reason is she believes those and other things.Maybe it is because of a small thing she believes those things.
Talent all people do have them,some stronger.She does talents,maybe in this time its clear,someday it will,or look for them....

Answer 2

well, the good sounds very good. The bad sounds like you're kind of reaching, although the apparent intolerance should be grounds for concern. Still, she's young, as are you. Look at it this way - what do you and she do if one or both of you decides after a few months that this was a mistake? And it could just as easily be her as you making that decision, by the way, if the stuff you put down as 'bad' really does bother you that much. You might both want to chew on that before you make any serious decisions!

Answer 3

You shouldn't be in a relationship if you feel you need to change the other person. You sound very shallow and have insulted her a lot by your description of her "bad stuff".
I would tell her not to bother coming to be with you, you don't sound like you appreciate her at all or even care about her. All you've focussed on regarding her "good stuff" is her looks and that she'll sleep with you. It sounds like it's going to end in heart break for her, I think you'll break her heart.
If you had any decency you'd break it off if you care so little about her.

Answer 4

Do you want to be with her? Do you love her? You guys have been together for only two months!! You should still be in "the honey moon" stage of the relationship. If you already have complaints about her and the relationship, why don't you stop her from moving? Make sure you really want to be with her before she moves. It's not that it will be too late if she moves, but it will just make things more complicated in case you want to end up the relationship.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Okay first of all
The "bad things" aren't bad things at all
you can change at least 2 of them things you put down like,Narrow minded and that she's not talented at all..I'm pretty sure she is talented at something she probably still hasn't found it though,The good things are the ones that should over power the "bad things"
Do you LOVE her?
Sounds like you need to ask yourself that!?
someone you love, will love you unconditionally despite your failures

Answer 6

I think the only question you have to ask yourself is: do I love her? If you don't really know, and the bad stuff out ways the good, I'd say don't let her move. Also, never try and change anyone, that doesn't work out.

Answer 7

Sweetie, girls grow up before boys. I'm a mother of four girls and i know these things. Just have fun and think yourself lucky you've got a sexy girl who is willing to move to be closer to you. If you think about it, most girls of that age still have a lot to learn about life, but in a different way, boys still have a lot to learn at that age too. To get the best out of any situation always ask youself what YOU can do to improve things. You can't change other people, you can only change yourself. If she chooses to move closer to you, its not your fault - its her decision. Let her take responsibility for that decision and don't get on her case about it. Again, ask youself how YOU can be a better, more fulfilling partner for her. Have fun and good luck!!

Answer 8

Yes your relationship is doomed from the start. If you feel this way now how will you feel in a few months time?, It seems to me that your relationship is based purely on the physical side, well that fades in time if there is nothing else.
You cannot enter a relationship hoping to change the other person, it will not work, and it is not fair on the other person.Don't lead this girl on if she is moving just to be near you !!!!!!

Answer 9

Never be someone you are not. I think you should not hook up with her; just kill the chances of this relationship. It is a GOOD lesson to learn and you should have to pay the price for lying. Learn from your mistakes and don't do this again. And apologize for being immature and whatnot to the girl

Answer 10

Frist of all you can't change her! She is how she is! I would think at your age you should think twice before she moves her self here. Like does she work! Is she just trying to runaway from other problem? You are really still young and have alot of growing to do. Don't jump into something that you can't handle!! You have many more years of life!