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..and also for those who may live in Utah, or know someone who is LDS. This is meant in good, light-hearted fun. I think every once in a while we need a break from all the arguing/bashing that takes place. No reason to get offended, as I am LDS myself :D

You might be a Mormon if... all your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape.

You might be a Mormon if...you postdate your checks while shopping on Sunday.

You might be a Mormon if...you believe Heck is the place for people who do not believe in gosh.

You might be a Mormon if...your Mom was pregnant at your sister's wedding reception.

You might be a Mormon if...you pray that your food might "nourish and strengthen your body" before eating doughnuts.

You might be a Mormon if... you think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups.

You might be a Mormon if...at least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house.

2007-05-07 08:43:58 · 10 answers · asked by Daniel 4 in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

You might be a Mormon if...you've ever written a "Dear-John" to more than two missionaries on the same day.

You might be a Mormon if... you were frustrated when your son "only" got accepted to Harvard.

You might be a Mormon if... you have one kid in diapers and one on a mission.

You might be a Mormon if...you have never arrived at a meeting on time.

You might be a Mormon if...you have more wheat stored in your basement than most third world countries.

You might be a Mormon if... You've already got your order in for volume 50 of "The Work and The Glory."

You might be a Mormon if... you think it is all right to watch football on Sundays as long as a direct descendant of Brigham Young is playing.

You might be Mormon if...you have to guess more than five times the name of the child you're disciplining.

You might be Mormon if...you automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring Your Own Burgers!!

2007-05-07 08:44:21 · update #1

EDIT, BTW, this is Jeff Foxworthy's work, not mine :)

2007-05-07 08:48:00 · update #2

10 answers

Did you ever hear the one about Orsen pratt, I think if I remember my Mormon history right, if he had stayed witht he church, he might have been the next in-line, instead of Brigham Young (since he worked with Joseph with translating the Book of Mromon) and BYU would have been named (if he would have led the Mormons to utah) Orsen Pratt Univercity Or OPU, get it, its stinks LOL.

2007-05-08 06:46:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

I'm not a Mormon.

I was an Elder of a little Bible Study at ISU many years ago.

One of the things we did to share the real gospel, was hold Beer Keggers over at the Jesus House.

We advertised them very much like the Fraternities did, but with two very huge differences.

1. We got our kegs of beer from A & W.

2. When we said BYOB on our advertising flyers, the Fraternities of course meant, "Bring your own Bottle", referring to the hard stuff, we meant BYOB to mean:

"Bring your own Bible."

Pastor Art

2007-05-07 08:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4 0

I too find theology very, very interesting... and I'm life long LDS. At first I couldn't understand why Christians don't consider Mormons Christian. We believe in Jesus Christ, the Bible, Baptism, etc. But in my studies I realized why they don't, and you pretty much hit the hammer on the head with your assessment. Most Christian Church's (and I say Christian Church's because most Christians who know Mormons consider us fellow Christians) don't believe Mormons are Christian because we believe in modern day Prophets, Apostles, visions and revelations, Priesthood, Baptism. In fact... if Jesus and his church were to be transported to today, his church and himself would be considered Non-Christian for those very reasons that I stated above... Think about it.... a church organized very similarly to Christ's church in the Bible... with Prophets, priesthood Authority, additional revelation resulting in additional books to the Old Testament.... That organization would be condemned by modern day Christianity, the Evangelicals anyway. But Mormons are not the only one's rejected.... Evangelicals also condemn JW's, Church of Christ, Seventh Day Adventists, Catholics, Christian's who also happen to be Free Mason's. The only people they recognize as true Christians are themselves.... So although I do understand why they reject everyone but themselves, I think the rest of the world would find it very hard to see the LDS church as anything other than a Christian religion.

2016-05-17 21:08:37 · answer #3 · answered by nikki 3 · 0 0

>>>You might be a Mormon if...you pray that your food might "nourish and strengthen your body" before eating doughnuts. <<<<

bwaha, that was the best one :D

Good stuff

2007-05-07 08:52:32 · answer #4 · answered by Dee 3 · 4 0

Pretty funny! I like the light hearted fun; it's much better than having people putting down different religions and such.

2007-05-07 16:37:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

LOL! I'll have to share this with my Mormon friend.

What is it with Mormons and jello anyways?

2007-05-07 08:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by Medusa 5 · 2 0

My Mormon friends love this one:

Why do you always take two Mormons fishing?

Because if you take one, he'll drink all your beer & smoke your cigeretts!

2007-05-07 08:50:38 · answer #7 · answered by Big Super 6 · 6 0

Former LDS, and it made me smile...=0)

2007-05-07 08:49:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

Very funny.Thanks

2007-05-07 08:48:56 · answer #9 · answered by Kerry 7 · 2 0

Good one!!! Thanks!!

gw

2007-05-08 04:15:05 · answer #10 · answered by georgewallace78 6 · 2 0

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