Spanking Children?

Question

I'm not talking about beating your children. I'm not saying use paddles and belts (like was used on every child born before Y2K). I just want to know, why is it not ok to spank your child. Sometimes, that's the only thing that works.
I'm not sure about some people but when my 3 year old can't have her way, and decides to spit on me, kick me, or scratch me (assuming this behavior is coming from daycare), I'm not going to sit down with her and go. Ok sweetie pie, mommy didn't like that. That hurts mommies feelings. Why do you think you did that to mommy? Are you angry with Mommy? Blah Blah Blah!! Give me a break. She will get a pop on the rear and told it is not nice to spit, kick, pinch or scratch. I would then tell her if it happends again she will lose a toy and go in timeout. Guess what, she still loves me!!! She still cuddles up with me and tells me she loves me as i do her, everyday.
Let me know what you think. Spank or no spank

Let me clarify a few things. Spanking is not always my first reaction. My first reaction is normally a firm"please don't do that. If it continues then yes a pop on the butt is my next. Never more than one or two. I don't think i'm asking anyone if it's ok for me to spank my child. I'm asking what others think about spanking children. Trust me, i don't feel guilty for spanking my kids. I would feel guilty if they grew up spoiled brats that act out in public and have no clue what disappointment felt like.

Answer 1

I spank in some situations.

More often than not, my five-year-old requires nothing more than a bad look and "One.... two....." and he's in line. My three-year-old is more stubborn, and I spanked him more often, but that's going down some now, too. Most of those spankings were more attention getters than anything, since he was unfazed by anything else. Then we hit upon the clapping idea, and it works pretty well to get his attention without spanking him. If he's doing something that would normally have gotten him a spanking because he won't stop long enough to be put in time out or have a talk, one single very loud clap of the hands near his face gets his attention pretty quickly and effectively.

But neither of my kids seem to be traumatized by the spankings they have received, and we're very careful not to spank based solely on how angry we are, and they don't get spankings based on heresay (little brother comes in and says older brother hit him, if no one saw it and there's no mark, older brother gets a time out, not a spanking).

I have recently learned the value of taking away privileges from a three and five year old. They like getting dessert, so they usually get a Pediasure nutrition bar, or Jell-O or pudding or something, for dessert. A few days ago, they found a box of Hillshire cookies before I got up, and had an entire box of cookies for breakfast. For that, they got no dessert for a week. I had handled similar misbehavings with spankings, and they were back in the cookies 24 hours later. They've gone almost the whole week with no dessert. The interesting thing is, though, that any mention of breakfast OR dessert has my older son going "We don't get dessert because you don't eat cookies for breakfast." HE GOT IT!!!!!!

My point is, I think it's okay to give the occasional spanking, but if there are other options, you should use them first. They can actually be more effective in some circumstances, with some children.

Answer 2

I have a 21mo old and we dont spank. I feel he is too young to know that mommy hurting him physically is attaching to whatever he did wrong. HOWEVER, we do live on a street where ******* love to drive a little too fast sometimes. If he makes a b-line to the road I do give him a single swat to the leg and say no or sometimes just give him a firm grasp with my hand on his arm while saying no. Lets just say he still runs out in the street. I think there is an age in which it can be done where the child knows why they are being hit.
I was spanked sometimes repeatedly as a child and I respect my mom to this day. I know she was keeping us from danger and protecting us from things she knew were bad. At the time I knew that if I did "that", I would get a spanking.....kept me from doing it.

Answer 3

Spank. THAT is what is wrong with the world today. Not enough spanking. The Bible simply states: Spare the rod and spoil the child. And no, that does not mean spank them over every little thing they do wrong. Use your common sense. The severity of the punishment should depend on how severe whatever it was that the child done. And just because a parent spanks their child does not mean they are angry with the child. A commonly misconstrued message is that spanking a child destroys them for life and a big emphasis is put on the just spanking part. Most children who are spoiled as kids and not made to behave and are allowed to disrespect their parents are the ones who grow up and have problems because life doesnt go their way or they feel like they do not have any real responsibilities because mommy and daddy are always there to fix their screw ups. Come on people grow up-if your child needs a spanking give them one. Do the world a favor.

Answer 4

I find that most of those parents who opt to NEVER lay a hand on their children but choose to "reason" with them are the ones that have the worst behaved children.
They are the parents that have children that speak disrespectfully to them, kick, scream and flat out do not obey.
They're also the parents that allow their children to roam the store unsupervised, and when the child says,"I hate you!" to the parent, the parent calmly says,"I don't think you mean that sweety, you're just angry with Mommy right now."
Yes-give me a break too!
My children are respectful and know how to behave properly in any situation. Strangers often compliment to me on what well behaved and respectful children I have, and what a good job I am doing-and I don't even seek their praises.
And my children adore their Mom & Dad, as we adore them.
To allow your child to run your house and be the Parent w/out proper discipline, you are doing them a total disservice.
Of course I don't condone abuse, but a spanking every so often doesn't hurt. I myself was raised the same way and I turned out to be a decent kid and adult as a result.
All adults I know that were raised the same-with occasional spanks turned out great too!
I find it mind boggling how so many posters here oppose an occasional spanking? No wonder children today are so out of control!
My words work 95% of the time, but for the other 5%, when my words do not work, a spanking does.

Answer 5

We have 4 little ones and have never used a single bit of physical discipline on any of them. We believe that a child should be taught that each and every action has either a positive or a negative consequence, and that their actions directly affect those consequences. We use time outs for something major as well as take away privileges. Our children are expected to contribute to our family by doing their share of chores, etc.. Even our 2 year old has his own set list. In my opinion, when a child is hit back for hitting, spitting, whatever, the only thing they are learning is the bigger, stronger person will win in the situation. They will become angry inside and probably express it one way or another. Your child may still want to snuggle with you, but I guarantee you it is out of fear. I could not imagine EVER hitting one of our children. They are not perfect, but they are extremely well-behaved because they know it is expected from them, and they know that if they don't behave, then they will have all their privileges (TV, playing outside, etc..) taken away. We have always taught our children from the time they could understand, the importance of respecting parents, teachers, etc.. and that we never touch someone in a negative way. My oldest didn't even know what the word "spank" meant until she was 7 or 8 and someone mentioned the word in front of her. I don't think she quite grasps the concept that a parent would actually hit their own child. So, to answer your question, no spankings- not in this house, EVER. Oh and by the way- we are strong Christians who live our lives according to the Bible and have had people at our church tell us we are not following His word. However, we do not think "spare the rod, spoil the child" needs to be taken literally. Sparing the rod means simply allowing your children to go haywire and do whatever they want, which is definitely not the case in our home.

Answer 6

One of the biggest issues with children today is the absence of both parent whether work related or single parents. My parent spanked me. And I realize that when I was growing up saying I would never do that to my kids. I find myself that with my 2 kids, I use the same tactics that were taught to me. With my 3 yr old, my voice alone gets her attention. Yes a spanking is somewhat a last resort, but I do not spank out of anger. I sit and talk with her first then afterwords make sure she know i love her and talk again about why she received a spanking. So do I believe in spankings yes, should they be the first thing used, no. But I did like what some one wrote, you are the parent and they are the child. Teach them right from wrong and put God in their lives and you will have no problems or worries.

Answer 7

I think it depends on the child. It's like you said, sometimes it's the only thing that works. Time-outs and loss of privileges may work fine for some kids, but not for all of them.

There is a big difference in a good old-fashioned spanking and an abusive beating. I don't think it's a coincidence that ever since so many American parents decided spanking was bad that kids started going buck wild and generally becoming a bunch of disrespectful brats as a whole. Of course, it wasn't the only reason, but it was the beginning.

Answer 8

Me & 2 of my Siblings got beat but the 4th & youngest didnt
us 3 that did Finished school & have good jobs the 1 that didnt was hooked on drugs 3 kids diffrent dads I noticed with all my cousin those of us that got the switch from Grandma all turned out good the younger ones all have done some time in jail it does seem to show in society as a whole kids no longer have nothing to fear oooono dad gave me a talkin too.I didnt do things cause I feard the Old Man & his belt & I love him for it.

Answer 9

Wait...you hit her and then tell her it's not nice to hit? Oh my...

It's not so much being all talky talk when they hit, but more setting up expectations and guidelines before they hit. In other words, teaching appropriate behavior and expectations instead of punishing. Would you punish a child that didn't know how to spell? Would you spank them? Or would you teach them how to spell? The same goes for behavior. Time out should come long before a spanking. Of course she loves you...even severely battered women 'love' their men and cuddle up with them. Stop hitting your kid.

Answer 10

Well, I think there is nothing wrong with a well placed smack on the rear end with your hand...not 10 smacks or 5 smacks but 1 or 2 to emphasize the point.

My mother raised 8 of us and we all were spanked at least once or twice in our lives...she used to sit at the dinner table with a willow switch on her knees. If you didn't behave after she gave you a warning, she could whip that switch under the table and smack your ankle or knee.... That got your attention - and also prevented the bad behavior.

I raised my two with an occasional smack on the butt....

Now, that being said, NEVER smack a child in anger....never strike out...never smack a kid anywhere except the buttocks and never in public. It should be used for extreme circumstances whether other methods haven't worked.

I have seen parents slap their kids in the face, on the arms, on top of their head....that is abuse.

On the other side of the coin, I've seen a parent try to reason with little Johnny who is 2 years old.... I've seen parents try the old "1-2-3" thingie, the time out... You cannot reason with a 2,3,4,5 year old....they don't care what you are saying or what you want them to do. But, a smack on the rear gets their attention.