Do men feel awkward when women open doors for them?

Question

Sometimes when I am on a bus or subway, I try to give my seat to older people, men and women. I've noticed a lot of times, men seem shocked by this and refuse the seat. I also like to open doors for people because I was always taught that it's courteous. Some men flat out refuse to have a woman hold a door for them, though. Is this an issue of pride? Do you like women to do chivalrous acts back to you, or do you think it's weird?

Answer 1

This question is really something. I hadn't really thought about it up until now, but the holding door gesture does seem to be a bit like the man "taking care of" the woman. Of course a woman has the power to hold open her own door for herself. This is a case of men recognizing their natural role as the provider for the situation. And when a woman does try to provide for the male I wouldn't doubt if by default a man felt a bit immasculated by the gesture. A very paranoid male would think that this is done because someone you don't think he himself is capable. Any people only want to be thought well of when it comes to social interaction. If your action can be translated in any way shape or form as "you're not good enough" there will be people who will have a problem with it. Personally I'm happy to have any gesture of kindess extended towards me. In other words, I'd never get upset at someone for giving me less work to do. I know it's only my opinion of myself that holds any weight in my life and thus, I have freedoms that many others do not allow themselves. The freedom to have fun, to be playful, and creative. I let everyone else worry about image. Nothing matters if I'm not content with my situation. All in all, for a paranoid few it is an issue of pride. It's uncommon and a bit strange to have a woman behave chivalrously towards a male but tradition gets very black and white at times. This is the type of creativity that allows for a very adverse, fun, colorful and exciting life. You're the natural counterbalance to this. This is very good.

Answer 2

LMAO! No, I don't feel awkward when/if a woman holds a door open for me. Any "shocked" expression is probably more of an "OMG! Someone is being courteous and holding the door open for me!" Personally, I'll hold the door open for anyone...it's a nice thing to do. Living in the DC area where most people are self-absorbed, this kind of cordial behavior doesn't occur frequently.

Answer 3

I was raised to hold the door open for women no matter where I went. So I have and I continue to do so. I also see it as an act of respect so when a woman or anyone for that matter holds the door open for me I am grateful and very appreciative. I think in other men it probably is a question of pride, they can't look past themselves and just be thankful....Out of all the things to be "pissy" about in the world...This should be on the bottom of the list in my opinion.

Answer 4

Wow! I have been having the same problem.

I was raised "old fashioned" and my husband is this way too, but I think of age and need.

In fact, this morning a man gave up his seat for me. As usual, I say thank you sir, but please sit. He wouldn't, as most of them don't, and I sat down because it pains me to see a man give up his seat and stand and I am standing too.

Also, if a man gives up his seat then OTHER men won't stand either.

And yes, I have this problem with elderly men. I have tried to give up my seat to men who are handicapped, ailing and so old you think they are Father Time, but they look shocked and often won't take the seat.

And I hold the door for men a lot because in the building I work in down town lots of men have heavy cases, not just one single briefcase, and they are often shocked.

My husband says it is more shocking because I am so small but I don't understand.

I don't think a man carrying 6 bags and kids should have to stand so I can sit.

Interestingly enough, when I was pregnant and the train was full and I WOULD HAVE LIKED to sit down, i didn't get much chance to...men didn't get up for me at that time....

I guess because I didn't look pregnant, just a bit heavy. Oh well...

Answer 5

I like to be a gentlemen. I prefer opening doors and letting a lady go first. Now, if I'm holding something and am struggle opening the door, I'm not going to refuse her assistance. I will gladly welcome her kindness and receive it with gratitude. But, if we both get to the door, I would rather me hold it for her. I feel that women should be held in high esteem, and rightfully so. I don't view women as just "one of the guys." Maybe some think I should, but I think they're better than that.

There are other ways that women can show here kindness and numerous act of courteousy other than opening a door. It's not an arrogant, proud, "I'm better than you, let me do the work" attitude. It's a humble, "You're better than me, please, let me serve you" attitude.

Answer 6

simply by fact it is seen a masculine action to hold a door for somebody. If the guy isn't donning something enormous and heavy and could open the door themselves, DONT open the door for them. adult men do not prefer to sense female and allowing a girl to hold the door for them (in the event that they arent donning something) makes them look or sense female/much less masculine. purely settle for it and end conserving doorways for adult men who arent donning issues.

Answer 7

Last week i was carying this big box and a woman opened the door for me, i thanked her very much and I appreciated the gesture. A nice gesture is welcomed anytime from anyone. I don't think it's weird, lol, i think that she's a good person.

Answer 8

No, it's gracious all around.

I arm wrestled my realtor for lunch just before the closing on my prior home - she lost - I picked up the tab.

Answer 9

nope, i like womens lib. open doors, drive, pay half the bill.
women that want to be equal - that's what im talking about.

Answer 10

Yes because masculism still exists.