Why do we keep relationships with our ex?

Question

I had a discussion with my friend and he told me that its better to just cut loose contact with my ex-girlfriend. After outweighing the pros vs. cons in the question, I am still confused about why we keep in contact with our ex's as friends? Can anyone explain to me...

Answer 1

If you had a good and/or long relationship, often your ex will be the person who knows you best out of anyone. It's comforting to talk to someone who understands you well, especially if there are issues you have that only they know about.
It's ok (and can be very rewarding!) to keep an ex as a friend as long as a) neither of you are emotionally tortured by it and b) it doesn't ruin your prospects for new relationships or cause problems with your current boyfriend/girlfriend. Sometimes that means that you have to wait awhile to become friends until your feelings for each other have completely died down.
However, if the person completely screwed you over and thinking about them causes you extreme pain, I would forget they exist and burn all the evidence.

Answer 2

I don't know that I have the all consuming answer, but from my own experience, I find it is difficult mainly when the couple have 1) not completed closed off all contact. 2) Have built a real and true friendship and it is set that even if there was a breakup of the relationship, the couple still had respect and enjoyed conversations with one another. I see nothing wrong with it unless there was some hardship, hard feelings or other negativity. I have a friend with whom I was in love and dated for 6 years. We even lived together. Even though we "techincally" broke up, we still maintained a nice, comfortable relationship as friends. It was so friendly that he allowed me to meet and be in the presence of several girlfriends - after me - in fact, those girls are long gone - and I am still a good friend.

Answer 3

i used to think there was nothing wrong with being friends with the ex... BUT i changed my mind! i mean, it can cause drama in your current relationship, also, in most cases one of them still has feelings for the other and it wont work out! some people stay in contact with their ex's because after all they were a big part in their lives and whether we want to admit it or not we still care for them (not in that way) but ex's do know you really well( if you were with them long enough) so people turn to them just to talk and be friends. the bad part is that some people still have feeling for the other so thats when the "bad idea" of this whole thing comes.. you can't be friends with them! i always wanted to but my exs would always want me back and i didn't want to be with them. so yea i think your friend might be right to not talk to ur ex anymore. and i don't think you can be friends with an ex unless you both don't feel absolutely anything for one another!! which isn't always the case!

Answer 4

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Answer 5

well in some cases like mai we stay in contact cause we both still want 2 b in each others lives than not at all n that we might get back 2 gether n some just do it cause idk u cant really explain its u r or ur not maybe theres something still there n u or her cant let go or something like that its up 2 u do u still want her in ur life or not alot of peopole do it 4 different resons so wats urs well gud luck i hope everything works out take care n dont think bot it that much just let things happen

Answer 6

i am goung through a similar thing. me and my ex were very close friends for two years before we dated. but know when ever i speak to him it just brings up bad and upsetting memories id rather leave in the past. im still trying to befriend the ex but have never been able too. i used to think it was a shame when to people who were in love never see each other again. but now i see it as a blessing do u really need her in your life now?

Answer 7

its just that you dont want to loose communication with them b/c there was something about them that made you laugh and have a nice rest of the day or just something that makes you feel like they are friends that can make you have a better day just by making you laugh or remembering good times i still keep in touch with 1 of my exs b/c he makes me have a wonderfull day after talking to him and i usually call him every other month like once but through out that time i dont talk to him i fell good about it he makes me happy just knowing hes living a good life and that he's still around,
also i have a baby with my man right now and i told him that even when we leave eachother id still like to cominicate with him about our daughter even though we end up in bad terms b/c we have a daughter and we want the best for her and we need to comuunicate to help her through life

Answer 8

There is a part of you that does not want to let go I would assume.
I am still friends with my ex; although, my girlfriend does not know about it.
I mean I don't talk to her but I would if I seen her.

Answer 9

Not everyone does keep in touch or even want to depending on the reason for the break-up - I have kids with my 2 ex-boyfriends and EVEN with kids I would prefer to NOT be in touch with them because they are losers and loser dads.

Answer 10

its plain and simple... You still care about her

i stopped talking with my ex because it hurts knowing that we could not be together, and being friends was doing fine untill we put our emotions back into it and we kept getting hurt. as for now, im doing fine... its better to let go.