Dirty Jokes???

Question

Anyone know any really sexy, dirty jokes? My boy friend seems to have an endless supply and I want to get him back with a really good one!!!

Answer 1

- A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."


- A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first bl-ow job." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offence, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."


- One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"


- A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch d*ck, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy faints!!
The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's wrong?". The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch d*ck, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around. '"


Hope these work. =]

Answer 2

A boy got 3 wishes from a genie. When the genie asked for his first wish, the boy said "i want to have a shower with my mommy!" So the genie granted his first wish. In the shower with his mom, the little boy spotted something and said "Oh mommy look at that bush down there!" After the shower, the genie asked the boy for his 2nd wish. The boy wished to have a shower with his father now. During the shower, the little boy once again spotted something down there, but it was different. Once again the boy asked "Daddy, whats that fat snake doing down there?" Finally, for his 3rd and final wish, the boy wished to have a shower with both his mother and his father. The little boy suddenly screamed out "Look mommy, daddy!!! The snake is going inside the bush!!" Do you get it ;D Don't ask me why the boy asked to have a shower... its pretty weird to me too LOL

Answer 3

One sunny day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a red
Mitsubishi 3000GT for speeding. He walked up to the car and asked the
driver to roll down her window. Immediately, he was stunned by just
how beautiful she was! Probably the most beautiful blonde he'd ever
laid eyes on. I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am.... could I
see your drivers license
and registration please." "...What's a license...?? ?" replied the
blonde. Big blue eyes sweetly looking up at him. "Your drivers
license is generally in a wallet", replied the officer. After
fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I
see your registration? .." asked the cop. "Registration? ..... What's
that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove
compartment. .." said the cop patiently. After some more fumbling, she
found the registration. "Thank you Ma'am. I'll be back in a
minute..." said the cop and walked back to his patrol car. The
officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's
license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came
back; "Ummm....is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes...."
replied the officer. "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the
dispatcher. "Uh... yes" replied the cop. "Here's what you do...."
said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your
pants..." "WHAT!!? I can't do that. Its..... inappropriate. .."
exclaimed the cop. "Trust me..... just do it...." said the
dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license
and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.
The blonde looks down and sighs..."Ohh no... not ANOTHER
breathalyzer. .."


and...


How do you fit four gay guys on a chair?


turn it upside down.

Answer 4

Here is a dirty joke:
A man fell in the mudd!

clean joke:
He took a bath with Bubbles!

Dirty joke:
Bubbles is the girl down the street.

Answer 5

what do u get when u come across a blonde and the puilsbury dough boy?
a whiny b***h with a yeast infection

Answer 6

who needs dirty jokes when you can be dirty!! . . .with each other

Answer 7

my husband told me this one this morning .......................................... there are resent reports in the sex industry of a new craze, filling a woman's fanny with alcohol and drinking it out with a straw......it's called minge drinking!!

Answer 8

What do you call a whore with a runny nose?


FULL!

Answer 9

i got 1.. kk listen... there were these twoguys peeing off a bridge 1 guy says the water is cold the other guy says it's deep to... do u get it .. u probally wont...

Answer 10

you need to call me if you want to no this one [e-mail]