how to say good by, so much grief?

Question

last week dad left for ohio, got into an accident in south carolina, was recoperating well, than took a turn for the worse, and passed away. i feel no peace, i can't feel god, i am just devistated as dad was my whole life really. now in a few days we must bury dad,how do i deal with my grief positively. dad was getting better at first so i did not go my sister went instead. my nerves are shot, i just don't know if i can handle myself well at the funeral without going all to pieces. help me please find some peace. had dad lived he would have lost independence, had to endure more surgery to correct his crushed arms, and while being transported his money was stolen by tow truck people. our family is torn to pieces, we will never be the same.

Answer 1

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, and I know in time you'll find peace. It's true that time heals all wounds...be with your family now. They need you.

I would file a lawsuit against the towtruck people that stole his money as well - that is just WRONG!

Answer 2

My dad died last year. I know nothing anyone says can make you feel better but I will give you some advice from my own experience.

Cry whenever you want. Be angry. Be sad. Be hurt. Feel alone. Let the emotions come and go. They roll like waves sometimes and you may even feel sick to your stomach (I know I did and sometimes still do). This is YOUR grief and no one can tell you how to handle it or how it should feel or what you should do.

Grieving is a process with many steps. You should see a grief counselor, it will help you understand the grieving process better.

I find that when I get too sad I talk about my dad. I share stories and cool things he did. And I cry, still, after all this time. And that's okay.

Trust in time. It's hard to do that with the whirlwind of death swirling around you right now and the funeral is not easy and you are not expected to keep it together.

You are right that life will never be the same. But it will go on, trust in that. Take it one day at a time and try not to dwell too much on what is expected of you.

If you ever want to talk to someone who will just listen, feel free to send me a message. I'm a great listener. Also, it helps to find someone who's dealt with this. I was unfortunately enough to be the second of my friends to lose their father and it seems as though those who HAVE been through it are far more helpful than those who want to help but are not sure how.

Answer 3

Look this is a Load that You can"t carry,You can"t stay in Grief.Lay your case bfore God,Find in Scripture where
Someone went thru A very Heavy Trial,I want two or more
cases. As you petition God read and say them loud enough
Your Ear can hear.Lawyers do this in trying Case before Judge,It came from God"s Word,The Judge will look at
Binding Presedent( How Judge in past case Ruled)
Now after You have Presented Your Case to God,leave it with Him, This is some of things Satan will pile on You,If Only, I should have done differntley, and a dozen other things,just speak what God Has Said,from His written Word.
So what if you go to pieces at the Funeral,doesn"t matter,He was Your Father,A great Loss so cry ,There are those in the Church that can relate to Your not Feeling God,I assure You He knows exactly where You are.

Answer 4

I am sorry for your loss and my heart goes to you. I have not lost a parent, but I have lost a best friend and when you're a teenager we sometimes believe our friends are more important than our family. The school brought in Grief Counslers for Steven's friends. I think this helped me then. That would be an option for you.

I do have one story to tell real quick which you may find comforting....

There is this guy (Eric) at my church who was new to being spritual. He had been coming about 8 months when Eric was at the Wednesday Night Service praising the Lord like he never had before. Pastor even commented on how inspirational his praise was before he began. Eric asked for the microphone and thats when he said, his son was killed that morning in a car accident. Everyone's heart went out to him and he just smiled and said, "It's okay. I know where he's going and I understand why the Lord wanted him so badly."

True inspiration.

Answer 5

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

You need to find a way to grieve that is best for you. Some people take solace in the believe that their loved one has gone to some magical spiritual world. It's a wonderful fantasy- but sadly rather childish. So- that's not going to work for you.

I like many of the Judaic traditions of mourning. Where the immediate family 'sits shiva' for a week in their home, and family and friends drop by to sit and talk with them. Certainly you do need to mourn, so find a way that works for you. Nobody expects you to stay stoical through a funeral ceremony- don't worry about that.

Perhaps seeing a counselor- someone who specializes in loss, might help you deal with this tragedy. Good luck, and my sympathy.

His money was stolen by tow truck people? This sounds weird. Didn't he have his money in a bank?

Answer 6

Loss is rough. We can't tell you how to cope. It's something you have to work through on your own. First, you just have to let all that negative emotion out. Cry, get it out. But don't bottle it all up, and don't keep it from people. You're going to be depressed. It was your father. Most importantly, don't blame yourself for not going to see him. You couldn't've known. You thought he was getting better, and that you'd see him again. He would've understood that. Your father loved you. Try to think of all the positive things he did for you. Those things have been incorporated into yourself as a person, and he lives on in that way. Be with your family. Good luck.

Answer 7

You WILL go all to pieces at the funeral, and that's fine. You cannot push grief down. You have to feel it and hurt and cry and scream and be pissed off.

Then you have to put it down and walk away. You had how many wonderful years with your father? Appreciate what you had and smile, don't cry for not getting more. Then live a great life that your father would be proud of. Your dad would never cry thinking of his life with you. He would not want you to, either.

Answer 8

Joan, my heart goes out to you. Surround yourself the best you can with family and friends. It will be difficult but I promise as time passes it will get easier. I lost my dad a few years ago and the grief and sorrow did change over time into all the fond memories of the man who always was and always will be my hero. May God bless you and your family in this terrible time.

Answer 9

I am very sorry for your fathers passing and I will certainly pray for you and your family in this horrible time.

I am very sorry to say that there is no one good way to deal with such a loss. Everyone deals with pain differently. Stay close to your family and friends. Find one person who you can truly count on to be there for you and listen.
The only thing I can say, is that your father would not want you to be sad for very long. He would want you to go on and be happy and live a fulfilling life, always keeping him close to your heart and succeeding in your life. I believe deep down inside of me that your father is waiting for you, watching over you and wants nothing but the very best for you.
I don't know you or your father, but I have a son of my own and I know what I would want him to do if I passed away.

It won't be easy, but just think about what he would want for you.

Answer 10

That is awful and I'm very VERY sorry for your loss. Its important that you realize that seeking professional help and therapy is NOT a sign of weakness. Sometimes you just need to be able to VENT. Just an hour a week can help immensely when recooperating from a loss such as yours. I am terrible sorry, and I guarantee things will get better if you allow them too.