family members made fun of my son..what should i do?

Question

first i have to say they were both drunk and over for the De La hoya fight...but these 2 guys are 23 & 24 and made fun of my 13 yr old son for having his hair a little longer then what they think guys should have it. My son is a skater and likes his hair long...he keeps it clean and combed and looks really nice with it long. But they wouldn't stop teasing him...it was little at first but then they started saying he was gay and i could tell my son was upset ...and thats when I went NUTS!! I yelled at them and said get out of my house! and they left.but the next day neither one of them even attempted to come and say SORRY!!! so my question is should i IGNOR them and never invite them over again? Maybe keep a Grudge for awhile to make them realize that it WASN'T right to tease?

These 2 guys have alot of NERVE too! ones an ex Heroin Addict and the other is a big time Drug dealer that acts like hes NOT!!! They both have kids that might experience the same verbal abuse they gave my son!!

Answer 1

This is between you and your WT family.

I wouldn't expect an apology from people who talk like that. I mean, what planet are they from that they still think long hair+gay. And really, what planet are they from where they think being gay is something to be made fun of?

But-good for you for sticking up for your son!

Answer 2

( I'm sure I saw this on an episode of Jerry Springer. )
What they did was completely wrong, drunk or not. However, they are your family. Perhaps if future get togethers were held at a neutral location. (A place where public drunkeness and rude behavior would not be tolerated.) You could slowly build a better relationship with them or a better understanding of them and/or use these meetings with them to gauge whether or not you still want them in your life and in your son's life. Your relationship with them may never again achieve that "family" feeling, but no bridges are burned in case they really do change for the better in the future. (Don't expect an honest apology until then.) They should not be invited to your house, a location where they feel comfortable getting drunk, until you are ready and until they understand YOUR terms for being invited. No drugs, no booze and nothing short of respect for ALL the people in your house. (Add any other rules that you feel will apply.)
You need to enter a probationary period with the people that caused you and your son this pain. Cool off for awhile, take it slow and then make your decision.

Answer 3

I don't think that you should contact them at all. For one if I were you, I would keep my son away from them. Ex Heroin addict at 23, and a drug dealer at 24? Thats not so great. Your son might might get in trouble hanging out with them so you should cut all ties with them. My friends mother was in a similar situation and tried to tell the neighbors (25 and 28 years old)what they did wrong and the apologized, but when she wasn't listening they started cracking up . So don't contact them, but at the same time if you meet them again and they apologize accept it graciously and calmly. Treat them like you would a new person that you just met. Not too rude but not to happily either. Kinda cold and distant. But still keep your son away from them.

Answer 4

Well, the drug dealer is probably not a stellar influence to have around your child anyway, but you may wish to tell these two guys that they will have to behave respectfully to your son if they want to be welcome in your home. Grudges aren't a good thing, and neither is going off on people. You should have told them calmly that you will not tolerate people disrespecting your child in his own home. Good luck!!

Answer 5

wow, are you sure you're not in my family??
In all Seriousness though, I'm sure they know it wasn't right and I do think they owe your son an apology for being so crappy and I've found out through all my years of living life, it's the ones who don't live right that make fun of those who they see that live right. Our family does the same stupid thing. It's up to you on how you should handle it, just remember to let your son know it's not him that they were messing with, they hate theirselves and their lives. You sound like a great mom and good luck to you, I know what you're going through sister!

Answer 6

It's completely possible that they forgot about the entire event considering they were drunk. If I were you, I'd write them both an e-mail telling them about the incident (if they don't remember) telling them why it was wrong, how it made you feel and how it made your son feel, and demand an apology. If they refuse to apologize, refuse to let them come near your son.

Answer 7

You shouldn't have either of them around. They are a bad influence to your son. I think you should cut off all ties with them. Especially if they are hurting your sons feelings and being drunk around him.

Answer 8

Family member or not, I can't imagine being friendly to rude/mean people, unless I had to do it for some reason.

Be polite & civil, but not friendly.

Do what you can to help their children have enough strength and self-confidence to shrug it all off.

Answer 9

Sounds like I would be keeping those guys away from my kids anyways, due to their pasts....and yeah, it is NOT okay for them to tease your son like that! Way to go for standing up for him. I hope you sat down and talked to him afterwards. I would not talk to them until they appoligized, to you and your son.

Answer 10

I would call them and tell them exactly why you went ballistic on them-if they were drunk enough they may not remember.lol. They went too far and it wasnt too nice at all and I would not put up with that either.