My friend asked me to be her bridesmaid before I got my dream job and of course I said yes. I've been asked to go away to give a few presentations and I'll be gone during her wedding. I want to be there for her but I also care about my career (I worked long and hard to get where I am) and if I don't go, I'm worried they might not think I'm serious about my position. I thought about flying home on the day of her wedding but I can't afford 2 plane tickets plus I have to attend meetings and prepare stuff.
I don't want to lose a friend over this but I also want to do well at my new job.
What should I do??? Please give me some advice...
2007-05-07 06:27:00 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You need to make a choice and decide which is more important to you. Life is about choices. If you can't take the time to go to the wedding because of your job, then that's your choice. If you want to schedule time off to go to the wedding, then that's your choice. Only you can decide which is the right thing to do.
2007-05-07 06:34:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I've worked for several companies (including major Fortune 100 companies) and I don't think any of them would think I was "not serious about my job" if I asked for a couple days to fly back for a wedding that I was a bridesmaid in. Most companies understand that sort of thing. If it's a weekend wedding then you can fly out Friday evening and maybe miss the rehearsal dinner, but you'll be present at the ceremony, which is what counts. You can leave immediately afterwards if necessary to get back and finish up your meeting preparations. But if this is a true friend, I would do whatever I could to be present at her wedding.
2007-05-07 14:03:29 · answer #2 · answered by Christina T 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What kind of friend gets upset because YOUR JOB obligations take precendence over her wedding? You are not a family member, and I'm guessing your not the Maid of Honor, so she should understand that your employer and work, unfortunately has to come first. Go on and give the best presentations you can!
Call again offering your apologies, and/or send a note with your apologies (you're not leaving her in the lurch, right? She has time to find a replacement?) and enclose it with a very nice wedding gift. Hopefully, you'll be able to attend the bridal shower.
2007-05-07 13:52:21 · answer #3 · answered by Survivors Ready? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should understand your position. True the two of you are friends, but friendship isn't gonna pay the rent after all. Let her know how much this job means to you if you haven't already. If she's a true friend, she should understand. She may just be stressed over the wedding plans and wants to take out her frustrations on you. Remind her how much you care about her as a friend and tell her you want to hear all about the ceremony when you get back from your business trip.
2007-05-07 13:37:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is a personal decision. The best to have done WOULD have been to let the people who were giving you a job know in advance that you had this wedding coming up and would be required to be there. It was your first obligation. Most companies respect that and would even take pride in having an employee who follows through with their promises. Since you weren't upfront with them I guess you have a decision to make: jeopardize your friendship or your job.
You should talk to some other employees and see how the company is with letting people take personal days. Use this information when making your final decision.
2007-05-11 12:53:54 · answer #5 · answered by Sara K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most jobs will understand if you tell them you unfortunately have a prior commitment and are unable to go. Maybe not if you were just attending the wedding, but seeing as you're supposed to be in it, I'm sure they would understand.
This is a life choice that you have to make. I personally always try to think, "which will I remember positively when I'm on my death bed." It sounds morbid, but which will you be happiest about in 50 years - that you went on a business trip or were in your friend's wedding?
I personally would choose the friend. I doubt they'd fire you over this.
2007-05-07 14:22:40 · answer #6 · answered by tink 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she's a good friend she will be supportive and understanding of the fact that you just got your dream job. If she's not, she'll pitch a fit.
Tell her the honest truth about your budget and your time and your job and let HER decide what to do about it. Tell her you hope she understands your position and that you would love to stand for her but don't feel you can give the time and attention she deserves.
Good luck with the new job!!!
2007-05-07 13:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by Kristy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was hired at work 6 weeks before my friends wedding --- so, I had to pull out of the wedding. she was hurt and dropped out of my wedding scheduled for 2 months later - well, i guess we both could hold a grudge, but what would be the point? we've moved on in life and are still friends....
2007-05-07 14:20:41 · answer #8 · answered by KaseyT33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your job. You are making the right choice. Your friend should understand, as it is your entire life, and one very important day in her life. She shouldn't ask you to choose against yourself. I would send her a very nice gift, and hope things are alright. If she doesn't want to continue the friendship, don't let her anger hurt you or your job.
I hope you make some really good presentations.
2007-05-07 13:44:09 · answer #9 · answered by Marissa Di 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your boss and explain that this is a family member and you are a bridesmaid in her wedding party. You need to be there, even if only for the wedding day. See what your boss says maybe they will give you extra tickets to come back who knows.
2007-05-07 13:43:55 · answer #10 · answered by Steven's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋