What should I do????

Question

First of I would like to thank everyone who has takin the time to read my thoughts...I love to hear everyones response's.....

I am now married I have one child from someone other then my husband meaning I had my child before I met my current and forever being wonderful loving hubby.....Now the biological father of my son was a loser (how mean) for quite some time and honestly I lost hope for the prick (name calling has become a habbit now) So the "prick" haha... Has found the light in Psychology ,Well that's what he claims at least and yes I will admitt that his rebellious and destructive behavior has radically changed which is good for himself I suppose....
But now I have plans to move else where as in maybe another state and I don't want to be selfish although I don't wan't my life to revolve around his life meaning I want my child to explore and live in another state BUT I feel as if I am unable to start or more so enjoy our life as a family because of my consideration

Answer 1

You don't say if your son's father visits his child or if he has court ordered visitation rights. So, if he does:

First check your state laws. In some states, like Michigan, both birth parents must reside in the same state unless the non-custodial parent has no objection. This is to allow visitation without hardship.

If your state has no such law, and your child's birth father visits, just calmly explain to him that a move is in the future for you and why (better job for hubby, etc). That leaves you open to a discussion of how to work out visitation so he can still see his son. Just be aware that, depending how he takes this news, he may go to court to try to get full custody or to make specific visitation arrangements and to get the court to decide who pays for the child's travel expenses for those visits.

Remember,honesty is always the best policy. Just realize that this may also be out of your control if your state has laws to prevent you from moving before your child turns 18...without the birth father's permission.

I think you would be very, very wise to speak to an attorney before telling the child's father about the impending move. If you are worried about the expense, find an attorney who advertises that the first visit/consultation is free and then take advantage of that appointment by finding out as much information as you can. Good luck!