Is my husband contributing to my son's bad behavior?

Question

I noticed every monday, my 2 year old son's behavior changed drastically, after spending time with his father over the weekend. He spit out food from and purposfully step it all over the house today, I suspect this comes from our parenting differences between me and my husband. For example, I locked my son up in his room for being bad yesterday, and my husband let him out, just when I step out.
I know he's trying to play the nice guy or being his friend by doing this, but it's making me look bad. Is this parenting working??? we're planing to put him to daycare soon, the way my son acts, I'm afraid he'll get beat up in someone's house.

Should his behavior be modified, before we sent him to day care?

I locked him up for time out, I mean I don't want to spank him, how else would a time out work for a two year old? He can't stand still in a corner???

Answer 1

u need to talk to his father. u guys need to agree on things. work together not against...

Answer 2

This is my opinon I don't think it is a good idea to lock a child in their room at any age especially a 2 year old. this is a difficult age yet they know how to manipulate at an early age. Time outs should be based on the child's age 2yrs old - 2mins. Find a place in your home and put a chair there. Tell him when he misbehaves he will have to sit there for two minutes. And stick to it when he gets up place him back on the chair and tell him his two minutes are not up yet when they are he can get off the chair. If he keeps leaving the chair return him back to the chair. Now I know this takes patience but remember he is only two and patience is what you need to have with a toddler because they will try your patience. Regarding his father, not good his is playing the good guy and Mom is looking like the bad guy. I speak from experience. This is the worst thing any parent Mom or Dad could possibly do to their child. Both parents need to agree on the way they discipline their child this is so important. And they need to back each other when either parent feels the child needs a time-out. If this doesn't happen, at this early age the child learns which parent will let him get away when he misbehaves. This opens up all kinds of problems not only with your child's upbring but your relationship will also be effected. I mentioned I speak from experience this went on when my son about the same age as your son. And let me just say my son is now 15 and he is disrepectful towards me and is in all kinds of trouble school the law etc.. All because his Dad could not set boundries for him. He was inconsistant with rules his never followed throught and when he was angry at me (his Dad) he would undermine me and let my son get away with anything to get back at me. In the long run he was hurting my son by not setting boundries for inapproiate behavior and my son now is defiant does not think rules apply to him. I could go on. Please, I can't turn the clock back but your son is still young if you can sit his Dad down and talk to him about what his doing and make him see he is only hurting his son by playing the good guy, then do it. If he is anything like my son's Dad I should have left him and took my son I think he would have at least half a chance.

Answer 3

Well it sounds like you both need parenting classes! You locked your twp year old up in his room?! What the H*LL are you thinking? Put your kid in daycare, he need's protection from you and you need to take some parenting classes

Time out should be a minute per age and a time out chair, sit him on the couch or stand him in the corner - yeah those things actually work

Answer 4

Father is undermining your authority. Talk with dad and get on the same playing field. Otherwise you child will play both of you against each other for the next 16 years.

Great book: The new dare to discipline by James Dobson.

Good luck

eversafe2

Answer 5

locking your child up is abuse my dear. you could go to jail for that.

timeouts do work at this age make him sit or stand against the wall and time two minutes one per year of life. or try a naughty step or chair. and you could also take things away from your son like a favorite play thing

you and your husband need to sit down and agree together on one type of parenting and stick to it. also a few parenting classes couldnt hurt either good luck motherhood is not easy

Answer 6

Make sure your time out is appropriate for the behavior he engaged in. Time outs are only effective if they address the cause of the behavior. For example, if your is tantrumming because he wants something tangible (food or item), you can simply remove those things or restrict those specific things until he can act appropriately. Also, if he is acting out because he is bored or not getting attention for awhile, his behavior may be merely a way of communicating this. Although it is not acceptable behavior, you need to take this opportunity to teach him appropriate ways to get what he wants. If you just lock him up in his room, he will never really learn how to go about using appropriate behavior.

Basically, you need to use positives measures paired with the time out. Time out can be effective, but you need to give him the things he seeks out when he is acting appropriately. For example, if he is playing nicely, go sit and play with him for 10minutes and give him a lot of attention or bring him a favorite drink and tell him exactly what he is doing right.

In general, he should be aware of what is expected of him and you should be teaching him appropriate ways to get what he wants. Don't just punish him... lay the ground rules, and be consistent. Consequate him consistently and make sure he knows what he did well and what he shouldn't do.

2 year olds are still developing and don't have the social awareness or tools in order to behave like you want them to. Their behavior should tell you something. Find out first what their behavior is telling you before you simply "punish" them. Then, give them appropriate tools and consequences, and apply them consistently.

Also, you and your husband need to meet and be on the same page...

Sometimes, if you've established your routine and consequences, and they still are acting out, just ignore their behavior and ride it out. Be careful not to give them undo attention or stuff that they want during this time. Theoretically, if their tantrumming behavior does not get them what they want, they will stop (it may get worse before it gets better), but will stop.

Answer 7

so, does that mean whilst your daughter turns 9 and starts performing out you will purely abandon her too - or is it purely extra convenient to do simply by fact he isn't your blood? he's a common little boy, battling the subjects he progressed whilst he now not had his mommy and daddy jointly, jealous of the attention his little sister gets and additionally attempting to locate his independence - pushing barriers and bounds to work out what he can destroy out with. he's a hurting little boy, and he needs your love, not your scorn. adverse interest continues to be interest. At this ingredient, his genuine subjects have been disregarded see you later that he needs a newborn psychologist. somebody independent that could consult with him and help him show what is going on interior, and who can tutor you and your husband what needs to be performed to assist him show himself in extra valuable and effective techniques at abode. in case you fairly studied it you may locate that there is a diverse trend to his habit - which supply you a clue as to why the habit is taking place. the therapist can assist you to study what to look for. maximum of all, do not leave - the little boy does not prefer extra loss in his existence.

Answer 8

both parents need to agree on the same discipline How could you lock a child in a room

Answer 9

Why would you lock your child in his room? That doesn't seem to be a good punishment. I think it is probably a combination of the two of you.

Answer 10

you are sooooo wrong for locking a child in a room you should not be alowed to keep yourchild if this is the way that you disiplin him. i suggest you get imediate conceling for you and leard effective ways to parent. a.s.a.p.