at what age and for what reasons should a kid move out of their parents' house?

Question

My parents are great people, they buy my food, let me stay here for free, and pay for the gas when I drive places (no, don't have my own car) but they drive me crazy because they are a lot more religious than I am. I'm 19 - should I move out?

Answer 1

You don't seem like you are ready to be on your own.

To be on your own, you need to be independent.

Unless you are making enough money to be paying rent, and not be broke, you are ready, but in reality, a job that you get at 19 is not enough to pay bills.

You should be focused on going to college and moving out because your parents are religious is not a good reason.

At 19, you should respect their beliefs, and they should respect yours, so if you don't want to go to church or what not, you should TALK to your parents.

That would be the adult thing to do, not to run away from the problem, but talk it out.

Answer 2

You should move out when you can financially support yourself, are unable or unwilling to follow their rules, you need some space for either a relationship or furniture, or your goals in life require you to live somewhere else.

Typically:
Rebellious or troubled homes have kids move out as early as possible.... 18 or 19.
College bound: Depends mostly on if the distance is within a commute or not. If so, upon graduation.
Comfortable: Parents can't seem to get rid of them until they are practically 30 - sometimes even 50! Parents want to marry them off in the hopes they'll move out. In some cultures, it's the only way the child leaves!
Entrepreneurs: Often leave home home at 18. Some are late bloomers (maybe they're parents were corporate workers) and thus flounder in college first before discovering their passion.

Once you move out, make plans (about 50 to 65 years down the road) to move your parents back in (or find a retirement home). Yep - it's your turn to take care of them.

Answer 3

Move out when you are ready to be on your own. A good reason to stay with parents is money--either you can't afford to live on your own, or you want to get some money in the bank before you do.

If you find yourself wasting the money you make, but think you can afford your own place with roomates, it may be time to make the move. There is no specific time or age to move out. You need to decide whether staying at home is helping you or stunting your growth. Life with the parents can feel like you are in a holding pattern--you work, you play, but you never get anywhere. It can also be a great opportunity--low bills means that you can save money or pay off debts. You have to decide how it is working out for you.

Answer 4

I think it's great that your parents are so supportive and helpful to you. But you are def at an age where you might need to be on your own so that, if nothing else, you can appreciate how much your parents have done for you. It seems to me what you should do is get a job, save your money, and then move out. Set a goal of 6 months to a year and let your parents know that you are planning on leaving soon, b/c you're an adult now and you need to be on your own. I don't think there's any particular age that you "have to move out". It's more of the fact that if you are an adult and you feel you want to live your life a certain way that is different than what your parents might want, then you need to be on your own.

As far as your parents religious beliefs, they are entitled to believe what they want, as are you. Be respectful and considerate of their beliefs, especially while you live under their roof. You don't have to feel as strongly as them but they have a right to feel the way they do, as do you. So just try to respect one another.

Answer 5

It sounds as though you have a good thing going--they are not abusing you, they are not making you pay any bills--and you are old enough to leave whenever you want to.

At your age, you don't need to be home often enough to hear their religious talk. You should be out working or taking classes, then dating and seeing friends at night.

In 'normal' families (though there are few of 'them' left) kids leave when:

1- They get married
2- They go away to college
3- They join the military

Those are reasons that even the truly religious would accept. Other than that, if you have some money, and a place to go, you can leave any time. Are you sure you really want to?

Answer 6

For me, there are 1001 reasons to stay and maybe about 2 or 3 reasons to go, mainly dealing with privacy (like bringing my girl over : ) yeah right) Your reason is different. Maybe you should live in the basement and pay rent. Ask them nicely to leave you out of their plans especially the religious part. If not, then move somewhere far but you must be financially and physically ready to face the real world. Good luck!**

Answer 7

Ok, you have the itch to move out.
How about trying this before you do:

get a job, insist on paying rent, food and gas. After this, see how much you have left for clothes, insurance, a car, and utilities!

Now with this said and done: are their religious beliefs really all that bad??

Answer 8

Wow, I'm in a similar situation - I'm 24 and am stuck living at home because I only earn 15,000 a year and can't afford to live anywhere except maybe a bedsit.

I pay for my own food and my share of the bills, and I'm trying to save money - at the rate I'm going I'll have enough money for a house deposit in about 5 years, but I'll be dead by then.

It's just me and my Dad at home. He's retired, kind of reclusive himself, and making me insane. I have two (older) sisters who don't know how I manage to live with him - basically I manage by staying out of his way as much as possible and talking to him as little as possible, which is not a nice way to live. I DESPERATELY want to move out, but I'm hanging on because I know if I leave now I'll end up renting somewhere crappy for the rest of my life and of course renting, I won't be able to have any pets. Not that my Dad lets me have pets either.

So - back to your situation. If you can afford it and you want to go, go. Just be fully aware of the true financial responsibilities of living alone, or even with a friend or landlord - can you afford the bills, food, rent, council tax, transport? You might find living at home with nightmare parents actually easier than struggling alone!

I know it's hard to not seem ungrateful when your parents are helping you out, but fact of the matter is as you grow up it becomes increasingly hard to stay with your parents. I'm just teetering on the brink at the moment - I pretty much hate my life and am just waiting for the moment when I stop caring about anything except getting AWAY from this damn house.

Chalice

Answer 9

I am 15 and I have just currently talked to an attorney about this. I am being mentally/emotionally abused and sometimes even physically. It's horrible! He didn't do anything. He just give me the child abuse hotline number and told me to check into family counseling. When you're 16 and meet the requirements in your state for emancipation, you can do that. Otherwise you can't move out until your 18, unless by a court order. I live in AR and our court system sucks anyways. So yea, I could like get beat to death and they would be like, oh well......Good Luck and just check in on it!

Answer 10

As long as my kids were helping around the house and paying for there own bills, I wouldn't mind them staying until about 25. At that point they should know what they want to do and how to achieve it. whether it be college or a career...
As for you personally. If you don't like there rules then leave..just remember the money wont follow you.