I'm 18 yrs old turning 19 in August. I've been Engaged for a while. I've decided to leave my house and move in with my Fiance. We have already found an apartment where we're going to live together. My family has always told me that if I do something and my Father has an heart attack it's only going to be my fault!! My mother tells me that if I leave my father will suffer and will die!! The only thing that I want is to live my life and be happy! Why I am feeling like I'm doing something horrible! Now I'm scared of leaving because of what My parents, my family are going to say. But it's my life I should be able to do what I want! The sad thing is that my parents and family won't be at my wedding only my closes friends. It hurts so much. I love my fiance and he makes me sooo happy! He treats me soooo goood with respect all the time! Should I let this guilt take over my plans! This gulit that my Mother has planted inside of me!!!
2007-05-07 06:00:10 · 7 answers · asked by You Reap What You Sow! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'd say your mother is being manipulative for her own selfish reasons, you won't kill your father by leaving. They have had you for the last 18 yrs and the only way to truely grown as an individual is to move out and grow. If you're family refuses to attend your wedding its their own personal problem, it will be hard and it is sad but you have to do for you that make you happy. Talk to your mother and ask her why she feels she need to plant guilt or place blame on you, you're only doing what naturally is suppose to happen. If she is selfishly doing this it needs to be put up in her face so she can deal with her own personal problems and not project them onto you.
2007-05-07 06:09:18 · answer #1 · answered by Emily M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you wait until your wedding to move in together? Why will your family not be at your wedding? They should be. Do your parents not like your fiance? If so why not?
Your mom is paying the ultimate trump card on you, guilt. And that is not fair. It's very doubtful that your dad with have a heart attack just because you move out.
2007-05-07 06:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone (especially parents) the story above is a good example of why your children leave you and never come to visit you. If you ever wonder why you are alone in old age with NO grandchildren visiting you and you did the above...now you know why. This sort of guilt tripping and dysfunction is disgusting and is abusive.
Move out, get married, have a good life. They have NO ONE to blame for their misery but themselves.
2007-05-07 06:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family will come around eventually. Continue with the wedding plans and try to keep in touch with your parents. Hopefully, they will calm down and act like normal people.
2007-05-07 06:50:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
as hard as it is, you need to leave your family. i'm sure its emotionally damaging having that much pressure put on you and it's horrible they would say your father would get sick and die. i think the best place for you really is away from that type of treatment. you have no reason to feel guilty, all you're doing is growing up and starting your own life.
2007-05-07 06:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by JM 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to live your life, but you should talk to your parents and explain to them that they did such a great job raising you that you are able to be self sufficient, dont let anyone rob you of your happiness, you never get that time back
2007-05-07 06:10:25 · answer #6 · answered by Tutto Bene 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your mom doesnt want u to leave home becasue she thinks you are going to make some bad choices or mistakes but everyone makes mistakes so just do wat your heart says talk to your father on daily bais to let him know that you haven't forgot about him keep in touch and far as your mother don't disrecpect her just tell her that you are grown and your not a little girl any more.
2007-05-07 06:17:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋