My family is angry with my husband?

Question

My Sister and my Mom are both very upset with my husband. This last Saturday we shared a birthday party for my sisters stepchild 4 and my son who just turned 2. They have a pool, so it was a pool party. (my son can't swim, he also gets terrified with others in the pool) They had a pinata and a bounce house. Well, my son loved the bounce house. Earlier in the day, my sister offered to watch our son so we could eat. During that time my son was left alone w out telling us as another adult let him out back to where the pool was with no one outside. husband looked up at that time and made it to our son before any problems. my husband told me in front of my mom that my sister would never watch our son again. He was a little bitter and moody the rest of the party. My Mom told me she would talk to my husband later about his behavior. Later that night my sister calls upset about comments. I told both of them to talk it over themselves I am 8 months preg. do not need stress. What to do

Answer 1

Your husband was very upset, and I do not blame him. You entrusted your child to your sister at her own request, and she didn't hold up her end of the bargain. She wasn't watching your son and all and he could have gotten hurt or could have drowned.

Please don't dwell on which adult is right or wrong, use this as inspiration to work with your child so he is not so terrified of the water. It is one thing for a child not to LIKE the water and not choose to go there, but a terrified child panics in the water and that will cause him to drown should he fall in rather than be able to right himself until an adult intervenes. I recommend swimming/water classes for his age group so he is not afraid anymore. Like I say, he doesn't have to be a swimmer but as adults, folks must equip children with protective life skills at any age. It will save your child's life someday.

You can't control what other people do. You can only try to equip your children to manage/be okay regardless of what people around them do.

Answer 2

First, your husband had a right to be upset.Things could have turned out very differently.I would take this as a learning experience and in future make it mandatory that your son wear a life jacket around the pool.Try to calmly sit down with your family and talk about your concerns about pol safety which is the responsibility of not only you but the homeowner. There is nothing to be gained by alienating the family, give thanks it turned out the way it did. It will serve as a wake up call to the rest of your family that a celabration can turn to tragedy in a very short time. You do not need the stress. The sooner your family resolves this issue the better.Things only get worse if they fester too long. Best wishes on the upcoming birth.

Answer 3

Your husband has the right to be upset, what if your little boy would have fallen into that pool? Can you imagine the tragedy that could have happened? I would not be upset with your husband but your sister instead, she is the one that was supposed to be watching him. Our children and spouses should be first. I have a 5 year old and I am nervous about my son going to my parents house because they live around several lakes. If something would happen to him, I would never forgive myself or my family.

Answer 4

First I must say always side with your husband. That is the best advice I was given. When you are married you leave your family and cleave to your husband. He is number one.

I understand at the time your husband was very upset, as I would have been, about the situation and probably out of anger said those comments. Obviously your sister doesn't see the seriousness of the situation and should be grateful you are not planning your son's funeral right now! I think you should tell your mother and sister that your husband's behavior is normal and that his anger is justified. I think your sister should apologize for her neglect. I think your mother should never talk to your husband about his "behavior", he is not your son. You do not need more stress at 8 months but you must try to make peace for your familie's sake.

Answer 5

Your sister offered to watch your son while u and your husband eat then it was her responsibly to kept an watchful eye on him if not walk around w/him. 2 yrs old are very busy and get into everything so I would blame her too. I agree w/ your husband I would"nt let her watch my son or babies until she is a responsible adult. Oop's I sorry she is! Won't be watching my babies no time soon.

Answer 6

I say your husband was 100% correct. Your mom and sis need to get over it. Just because someone is related, doesn't automatically make them a good babysitter. I had a sister just like that, would lose my son on busy streets, take them inappropriate places, and later on even gave them drugs. I wish I would have said NO WAY early on in their lives instead of letting my family bully me into allowing her to babysit. Again and again over the years she messed up badly. JUST SAY NO!

Answer 7

I think you should be greatful that your husband recognizes the seriousness of this error your sister made. I think you should tell your husband because you do not need the stress to sit down and talk to your family. I think you should tell your sister and mother the same. If it does not iron out, stand by your man, deal with it at a later time. Do not upset yourself now.
good luck to you

Answer 8

Your husband was right! Nevertheless, next time let him eat while you watch your child, and he can watch the child while he eats. Never put your kids safety in the hands of others, that way you will never be angry with anyone else.

Good luck with your up and coming baby!

Answer 9

Met with them together and communicate the concerns. Both have the "right" to own their own feelings, and both have the "right" to express them. However, by meeting together and airing out the differences, it can alleviate ongoing problems. Why let this simple little issue ruin family relationships? It is not worth the long term hard feelings. All should learn to chill and let bygones be bygones.

Additional note: Your husbands position can only serve to hurt himself AND your child. Do you really want your child to miss a relationship with his grandmother and aunt? And do you really want to shorten your babysitter list? Seems like your husband is being prideful.

Answer 10

Your Husband is right to be upset...But you do NOT need that stress. I have wonderful inlaws this goaround.And the most wonderful thing that I have learned from them is that if there is a prob with me and them they dont go to my hubby they come right to me and my parents do the same for my hubby. They go right to them. My Mother in law says I am her family now also so she will come to me with any problems not ever go thro my husband to talk to me about a situation. Your mother and sister need to talk directly to your husband. But he needs to stand his ground and your sister dose need to be the one saying sorry.Your Husband might have overreacted a little but...with your kids its ok to over react sometimes. But please let them know they must work it out themselves. They all must love you so this shouldnt be a problem.They know you dont need that extra stress.