My family is angry with my husband?

Question

My Sister and my Mom are both very upset with my husband. This last Saturday we shared a birthday party for my sisters stepchild 4 and my son who just turned 2. They have a pool, so it was a pool party. (my son can't swim, he also gets terrified with others in the pool) They had a pinata and a bounce house. Well, my son loved the bounce house. Earlier in the day, my sister offered to watch our son so we could eat. During that time my son was left alone w out telling us as another adult let him out back to where the pool was with no one outside. husband looked up at that time and made it to our son before any problems. my husband told me in front of my mom that my sister would never watch our son again. He was a little bitter and moody the rest of the party. My Mom told me she would talk to my husband later about his behavior. Later that night my sister calls upset about comments. I told both of them to talk it over themselves I am 8 months preg. do not need stress. What to do

Answer 1

your husband is in the right for being so upset, something tragic could have happened. myself i would have said the same. your sister offered to watch him and that she wasn't doing. let your sister work it out ,this does contain to her after all.she owes an apology to both of you and hubby.

Answer 2

Your husband has every right to be upset!!! Your sister is the one that should be apologizing.
I hope that as he cools down he will be able to accept the apology. And who was the idiot adult that let your 2 year old out by the pool????
You need to be the one to tell your family that your precious young child was endangered, even though I am sure it was unintended, it still happened. And you need to be very careful that he has a life vest on or flotation vest whenever you are near water and there are a lot of people about. It is very easy to take eyes off of him for a minute and being so very pregnant or even with a new born, you won't be able to move very quickly to save him.
My daughter at age 1 was in a floatie seat right next to me in the shallow water of a lake. I was talking to people on the pier and she flipped the seat without a sound. Thank God I kept turning to check on her and grabbed her right away. And I was only 18 inches from her. Bad things happen in an instant.

I hope that you can resolve this issue and your husband and family can get past this. Congratulations on the new baby to be! And I am glad your son was not hurt.

Answer 3

Ultimately, it is YOUR responsibility to look after your son, 24/7 (that means, every minute of the day). You know the surroundings and since there are children in your family - if you're looking for HONEST responses - you should already have the backyard baby-proofed with a fence surrounding the pool, or are you all brain-dead. Blaming your sister as a reaction, is plain wrong (although he feels he had the moral authority). As you travel there, you already KNOW that there's 0 fencing around the pool -- and you can't relax & drink & eat knowing that, or at least should be aware of it (as your husband awoke to the fact). He done good, then he done bad. He should be MAN ENOUGH to be grateful/thankful that he caught this, in time.. and simply mentioned what happened -- then maybe PAID for the new fence around the pool, instead of being an *** about it, in front of his in-laws. YOU should take the lead here, and apologize for him ...and have him say "sorry" when he next can do so.

Answer 4

Your sister was absolutely in the wrong you should never leave a child unattended especially with a pool in the backyard. Tell them your husband had every right to be upset and your sister needs to be more responsible. Your Mom and Sis need help if they think your husband is inappropriate. Your sister shouldn't have offered to watch your son if she wasn't going to do so. Plus, he could have possibly drowned. How would she have felt then??

Answer 5

Your husband is looking our for your kid and being protective. From that standpoint, he's in the right. He probably shouldn't have been as vocal at the party about saying he wasn't going to let them watch your kid again.

Had he watched the kid the rest of the party and then had the conversation with you on the way home so that you could have a conversation or understanding about it, your mom and sister probably wouldn't have heard and the tension wouldn't be there today. So, the problem isn't that your husband said he didn't feel comfortable with them watching the kid. The problem is that your mother heard him say it.

You and your husband need to keep in mind that other people are not going to watch your kid as well as you do. Knowing that, don't leave it up to others if you are protective about your kids.

We've had similar experience with our kids. We never leave them out of site. My wife asked her sister to watch our daughter for 2 minutes while she used the bathroom at a restaraunt. She came back to minutes later and our daughter was gone. My wife asked her sister where she was and her sister said...I don't know...around here somewhere. There are too many ways to get in dangerous situations and there are too many bad people in this world.

Back your husband's decisions and concerns on this one. Hope that time will allow things to blow over between the feuding family members. Remember that you are married and have your own family. It is your job to protect your family even if it means a riff with your sister or mother.

Answer 6

This one I am saying that you need to stick by your husband's comments/behavior. He had every right to act like that. What if your son had fallen into the pool and drowned? What if someone else walked up and stole your son, and you would never be able to see him again? A number of things could have happened, and I agree with your husband. Your mom has no right what-so-ever to tell you that she "would talk to your husband later about his behavior." I am surprised that your husband didn't do more than just say that your sister would never watch your child ever again. With that being said, your mom - if she thinks she has so much to do with the situation - should talk to your sister, if anybody! That was wrong, to leave a 2 year old, BY HIMSELF. What if a fire broke out? What if he fell, and hit his head? Tell your husband that I said kudos for his behavior.

Answer 7

If your sister said she would watch your son and he was by the pool without an adult, I would be mad too! Your husband had every right to be upset. Its his kid, if he wasnt upset I would be worried. I think that maybe it was just the way your husband presented it 2 you that maybe made your mom upset? In my opinion your mom should stop being so nosy its not like your husband was talking directly to her. Plus not to mention your mom has a big mouth if your sister found out about what your husband had said. I think the problem is your mom.-good luck

Answer 8

Stand by your husband. He had every right to be angry when your sister was negligent in watching your son. Doesn't matter that another adult let him out into the pool area. That situation could have had devastating consequences for your son and your husband had every right to be angry. Had your sister been watching your son as she committed to do, it would have been a non-issue. Your mom has no earthly good reason to be addressing your husband's behavior with him. In the same scenario, I would have taken the same position he did - and trust me in that I would have been MUCH more vocal about it. What if your son had fallen into the pool and no one noticed?

To heck with what your family thinks - your husband reacted to the potential harm caused by your sister's negligence. As he rightly should have.

As for your stress level given your pregnancy? I wonder what your stress level would be had your son fallen into the pool? AND I wonder why you aren't mentioning anything about being upset yourself at the potential harm that could have resulted from your sister's negligence.

Answer 9

Your Mom and sister need to understand how upset and scared your husband was when he saw the potential harm that could have come to your son! His heart probably about jumped out of his skin when he ran to get him and thought about maybe having to pull his little lifeless body out of the pool! Your husband was understandably upset at the moment.

Now, I'm sure that your sister would never intentionally do anything to put your son in danger and I'm sure she feels terrible.

It's time for your husband to talk to her and let her know that in the heat of the moment, maybe he made too harsh of a comment saying that she could NEVER watch your son again. I think he should tell her it scared him to death and because of that, he lashed out at her and that he is sorry.

I'm sure she will say she is sorry and then you all can put it behind you!

Thank God that He was watching over your precious baby that day!! Best Wishes!

Answer 10

Your husband had every right to be upset, face reality your son could have fell in the pool and drowned! I would be pissed to. On the contrary, your sister had no right to call or talk to your husband about his behavior because she isn't married to him, and you shouldn't have let her. That is your husband and if you had a problem with the way he reacted, that was for you to handle, not your sister. Allowing family to meddle in you marriage life can be trouble for your household. If he was wrong, you tell him and suggest a better way to handle things, but never let family get invoolved because they are not looking for the best interest of your marriage, they are looking out for the best interest for themselves. Men have egos and can't stand to be disrespected, and the worst thing to do is to mess with their ego or allow outsiders to disrespect him, no matter how close you and your family may be. You made the choice to marry, now he comes first.

Answer 11

Just chill out families have these type of things all the time. Your husband had good right to be upset as children need to be watched, especially around water, or things that good lead to them being hurt. Remember he didn't tell your sister directly, but via you and your mother. Your mother's place is to back your husband and tell your sister that parents tend to over react about their children's well being, and that, that, is probably a good thing. It will smooth out sooner than you think, especially with a new baby about to be born.