My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. For the most part, we haven't really fought as much as some people do. But, we have had our ups and downs. He's expressed over and over to me that he really does love me and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I actually felt the same way until he went to a club with a girl that he had just met and after that, he slept with her. When he told me that he had done that, I felt like fainting. Now, I keep going back and forth in my head... "should I break up with him" or should I just stay with him?" Either way I go is going to be hard because he destroyed me when he made his confession. Also because I know how much I love him, I'd feel lost without him and knowing me, I'd probably take him back. I'm confused... please help me.
2007-05-07 05:06:37 · 27 answers · asked by Naquel S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"He destroyed me when he made his confession",hmmmmm,sounds to me like you should cut your losses and go as far away from him as possible.Trust me he'll keep on "destroying"you as long as he is in your life.You deserve to be happy as well as he,and it seems to me that you both look at relationships differently.You want a monogamous one and he can't give you that.I know what it feels like to be in that dilemma and leave as quick as possible nothing good is ever going to come from this.Take care
2007-05-07 05:16:54 · answer #1 · answered by B.B. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can be the real judge on whether or not he deserves a second chance. Its hard for me to say because I dont know the guy. If you guys have been together awhile and he has never ever done anything like this before then I would say you might want to give him a second chance, no doubt its going to take awhile to build the trust back up. Talk to some of your friends and family that know him, usually your friends will tell it like it is. If they dont like him and think he's a bad person and say leave him, then you probably should listen to him. I dont know, I wish the best of luck to the both of you and I hope you two work it out, if not, well the sooner you get out of it the better.
2007-05-07 05:18:09 · answer #2 · answered by Neek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curve.
There is no reason in hell he should have ever slept with anyone else while he was still with you!.... I'm sorry but if he cheats on you now, what makes you think he wont do it again? Next time and any other time you have a fight you will always worry weather or not he will be going off cheating... It will definetly be hurtful and heartbreaking when you leave him and you will most likely feel alone for the first couple of weeks but eventually you will get over him and your life will go on... F him and you're better off alone until you find someone that will love you, respect you and cherish you enough to be faithful to you!
2007-05-07 05:12:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being petty and emotional and make a rational decision which would be to dump his ***.
When he considered sleeping with that girl, did he ever think about you or your feelings. Relationships are mutual, if someone feels one way and the other feels another way then they're bound to fail. If you take him back, you're in for an emotional ride. Better get it over now than later. Concentrate on other things. Put more emphasis on school. The rewards of that would be much greater than what you have with your boyfriend,.
2007-05-07 05:14:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he went to the club with the girl you can work out that problem but can you handle the fact that he slept with another girl and confess to you.
Do whats best for you and break it off for good....ask yourself if this is the first time he did this...if he hadn't confess would you have known.
If you decide to stay with this cheater go get him tested cause he probably has some kind of disease.
Leave his *** you deserve better.
2007-05-07 05:22:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to decide what your own morals and ethics are and then you use them to make your decisions in life.
--why anyone would want "it" back in side them after it has been in someone else is beyound me
--he told you because he actually wants you to do the break up so he doesn't feel like the "bad guy"
--his actions can not distroy you, in fact his actions have opened your eyes to the hidden dark side of him, you should be grateful you now know what kind of a person truely is.
--you already were having doubts about your relationship, this has only confirmed your suspicions.
--your not going to feel "lost" for long, soon you will be feeling "free" to find your real soul mate, not just someone that was just making do.
2007-05-07 05:18:17 · answer #6 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry you're going thru this. I know most ppl would simply say "leave him", but it isnt always that simple when your heart is involved. But, in this case, I have to say that I also believe you should leave. Of course everyone has their ups and downs, but for him to be able to go to a club with someone he just met and actually sleep with her..and to do it so quickly..
You have to ask yourself just where are you REALLY in his list of priorities? Just because you love someone, doesnt mean you are supposed to take anything they dish out.
You know the old saying.."fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me"
Do you REALLY want to spend the rest of your life always wondering where he is, what he is doing or doing it with when he is out of your sight?
You deserve a better life than that, and you deserve someone who will be as faithful to you, as you are to him. I know it will be hard, but you have to find the strength to walk away and stay away.
If you allow him to get away with this, who knows what will be next. Just where would it all end? If you do take him back, he will then know that he can get away with anything and you do you know why?
Because he just did.
I wish you luck!
2007-05-07 05:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by Nitari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, I'm sorry. He burnt you once. If you forgive him and give him another chance, You are risking him burning you again however many times you will let him get away with it.
If he really loves you, he would have thought about/of you and taken you to the club instead of someone else. Or he would have just plain not done it at all.
You just said that he destroyed you with his confession. Don't let him break your heart again. Start looking for someone who is going to love you honestly, faithfully, and most importantly ONLY.
2007-05-07 05:19:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my... Were you still in a relationship with him when he did this? If so please i beg of you get out of the relationship. He cheated on you that is terrible. And it is a bunch of crap that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. I will tell you somthing that happend to me. I was so in love with my first boyfriend i thought everything was great until one date that we had changed it all. We went bowling and he eyed a girl up and down and all around. After our game i went to the bathroom. When i came out he was flirting with her and i saw him give her a paper. Yeah it isnt the same story as yours but it is pretty bad. I mean this broke my heart and i knew that once a guy does somthing like that it is most likely going to happen again. Im telling you it isnt worth the heart ache. You seem like a great girl and he made such a dumb mistake. I believe that there is one guy for every girl and i know that that guy wasnt for me and i see that this guy isnt for you. It will hurt alot when you break up with him but it wont hurt for the rest of your life as oppossed to if you stay with him. I promise you that you will find a better guy and you will be happy. It will take some time but you will see. Please listen to me i am telling you this from the bottom of my heart. I got hurt so much and i dont want you to get hurt too.
2007-05-07 05:19:22 · answer #9 · answered by sydney bristow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship is based on trust. He violated that trust. I know it is extremely difficult to break up with someone you have been with for a considerable amount of time. (having gone through it myself) It's easier to end it now than continue this path and be hurt many more times. Because he knows that he can get away with it. I'm sure that there are plenty of men out there that will treat you with the respect that you deserve.
2007-05-07 05:19:23 · answer #10 · answered by junit483 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋