Actually i do nt care much what they said of me,but sometimes its plain stupid and hurting.My aunties and cousins are all religious,ok,they are islam n their daughter wear the scarf while i don't.My cousin once say that i'm a bimbo,and just because i don't wear the scarf and live my life just like any other teenage girl,have freedom and love life,my aunties sometimes looked down on me,like saying the clothes i wear are sexy and beautiful(pls,i don't even wear revealing clothes!!),when i know she's trying to insult me.And my uncle once told me that i'm going to take hours chopping up the vegetables(i was helping my cousin in e kitchen),and when he said that,i could tell in his voice that he thinks i've never done any kitchen work when i have.and plus,i do not like to cook,and my cousin knows some cooking,so i'm sure they all think i'm just a pretty face but good for nothing,have any of you felt this way??
2007-05-07 04:25:52 · 10 answers · asked by rose etoiles 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Only one thing that makes me strong,which helps me to ignore them which is,i believe that i have something special inside me that none(maybe) of my relatives have..and that thing is,i love helping ppl and have much sympathy for little poor things,and i admired mother teresa..i'm not bragging,its the thing that i love most.
2007-05-07 04:28:31 · update #1
I won't even go in the subject of WHY they look down on you...it doesn't and it shouldn't matter anyway!
Some people teach their kids to be good at housekeeping for example and believe that all kids should be exactly the same as theirs...
You're good at something,they're good at something,who cares?
If we were all the same we'd lead very boring lives!
I've been where you are when my dad had just died and some very close relatives expressed their fears to my mom because I would end up being a sl-t not having a father to watch me over...
So many years later I can assure you I never became one and I'm possibly much happier than all of their kids...
So let them be...ignore them...live your own life and let them spend theirs judging you...who cares?...At the end you'll be so much better off than they!:-)
Hang in there hun!
2007-05-07 04:48:13 · answer #1 · answered by Jen C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I too have that problem. My neighbour has that problem. Judgemental is the word for it. It is not part of ANY religion if you truly look. Only God can do that part. You follow the "rules" the best you can. You have a heart, which they also do, but you use yours to care...they do not.
Stand tall. Make sure in your own mind that you are meeting your religious "rules" and that you have peice with your God.
Continue to believe in yourself...that is probably what bothers these relatives the MOST! They dont understand you, they dont try. They just judge. If you are positive and believe that you are worth something, that will bug them to no end! LOL
I am 47 now. Mother of two. Recently divorced AFTER fighting to survive and have a decent life for 25 years with my EX. I put in my "dues and time" and proved that the faults lie on the OTHER side...then I got a divorce. I was raised to not take care of myself because I am worthless. Somehow I never truly believed that...and now I am moving ahead, having some fun, made peace with my God and he is blessing me like royalty! My mother still says nasty things and points the "blame" finger at me. NOW I stand up and say NO to her. I say oh really? WHY do you say that? Give me an example...to which she shuts up! LOL Love it!
Sandra
2007-05-15 10:37:18 · answer #2 · answered by None Compare 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People get angry over change and things they don't understand. Face kid you are different than the rest. Not less not better just different. I find it appalling that they talk to you this way. You are much better than that! You have a great heart and a good head on your shoulders. Don't get discouraged by their words. They are old world and you a part of a new world and generation. As far as cooking goes if you don't like it than don't do it. The fact that you are willing to help with something you have no interest in says a whole lot about your character. Everyone faces diversity in their family and has been blamed or had bad things said to or about them. It is how one handle this that matters. March to the drums as your hear them. Never change who and what you are for anybody. In the end you will be able to hold your head high and say see what I have done with my life. If they still don't like it tell them to get over it. Live life the way you see fit for you and by you.
God Bless.
2007-05-14 20:37:16 · answer #3 · answered by flateach33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to worry about this petty behaviour on the part of your cousins and relatives. This is a common thing among the asians and if am right in Islamic families. They want to have the cake and eat it too. I believe you are living in a city and probably in a cosmopolitan one at that. You live by your beliefs as long as you know you are not hurting any ones feelings or doing any thing that is wrong from family principles. I too had undergone this when i was a teenager becasue i would not mix with the relations for this very reason its a question of not mixing with them because of their attitude and becasue you wont mix that tieir way of behaving. Things will quieten down once you grow up get married and settle down. Its people like us who follow the family norms in reality than the others who go through all the social rituals. One with a clean heart is the one who is likely to achieve the goal.
Dont worry be happy.
2007-05-14 09:12:37 · answer #4 · answered by sparks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
I know what it feels like to be diferent, but don't let annyone come to you specially your family. The hard thing about being picked at by family is that they know how to get to you and if they wanna hurt, they can pretty hard. My advice is that you let them do what they want and you do what you want. There is a period in life where you have to get away from your relatives to define yourself as a person. Maybe you are at this point in yours.
I'm not saying, you have to go away from home, just take a break, try to put a little distance between you. You seem like a nice person and you look like you could do a little volunteering, that could be a way to explore yourself and to develop that something special you are talking about. Further more, if you do so and talk about it when you are with your family, they might come to see you on another level where they will learn to appreciate who you are and respect that, regardless of the different way of life you have chosen for yourself.
2007-05-14 20:05:43 · answer #5 · answered by Charlot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your aunts and uncles...stick by a realigon..they way the view you is the way the feel women should act... you can not help you are not what they want and obviously your parents dont mind or they would have pushed those kinds of ideas upon you too
Listen, family is nice, it hurts when they are not there and tehy cut you down... take me for example, i really can care less about my family anymore there a few poeple in my life that i wish i could be in good grace with... the rest i dont care... i live for friendships, i found a new family and thats my friends... it sux but they are there to support me in every way just as a family should
not that your family is in the wrong its just the way they were raised and the way they are rasing their children to be and believe
cant help it that you are modernized and your own perosn
best of luck..ppl will reconize who you are when it really counts
2007-05-07 11:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you're not asking a religious question, but I can hear the Holy Spirit working in you. Your last comment says it all - that you feel different inside and that you care about people. Praise God that you have that inside of you. You have alot to offer the world and will always cherish your family but may need to move away from them to find what God wants you to do with your life.
God bless!
2007-05-14 19:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by vanessamaypan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To each his own i don't remember who said that but the point is we are all raised differently may it be were with who what the style is...i think your family hasn't come to accept that yet just give them time...When your new to a place that gives you the freedom to keep your heritage most want to do that,but over do it in some cases...Give them some time and try to explain your views to them and talk to them about it.It helps a lot...
Don't take what they say in offense they aren't used to every thing yet...Be patient they really do love you
2007-05-13 21:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by Meia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These people are toxic for you. Make the decision today that what they say is irrelevant. When they insult you smile and praise God you are not so judgmental.
2007-05-14 08:15:00 · answer #9 · answered by TAT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound very sweet...Don't worry so much..Just be your own person....But, stay humble.
2007-05-15 00:10:40 · answer #10 · answered by mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋