i hate to constantly hear family and friends tell me my boyfriend is a good guy but i could do better (looks wise). I am attractive and have done a few modeling photo shoots even...however, i did choose to start a relationship with this guy after many months of him pursuing me. I did NOT think he was attractive at ALL when we first met..but after a few months he grew on me...then suddently i appreciated his kindness and how sweet he was. Other guys i had dated where usually cheap, came from crapy families or just wanted to have sex and then have me hold their arm in front of friends. I have not dated alot and this is only my third SERIOUS relationship (there was no real love with others).
Will this be a problem if it is bothering me now? or will i learn to get over it and stop being so superficial. ugh. i hate it.
2007-05-07 04:08:59 · 59 answers · asked by D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
for those of you who asked..i turned 26 a couple weeks ago.
2007-05-07 04:30:18 · update #1
looks don't last hun...you might go out with a gorgeous guy who treats u like filth..but what's the point? at the same time...what about things like if the person is burnt or whatever? i'm not trying to be negative here....but looks certainly are NOT permanent! giving up a good guy who treats u like a princess (and who u also love) merely because he's not a HUNK..is quite unwise
also,beauty is subjective...i think it grows with love..the more u love the person,the more fondly you look at him/her...
+it seems that at first u weren't worried but your family's causing the problems isn't it? well you're the one going to live with the guy ,not them
+which is better for them?
(1)have a hunk of an in law who's not so nice
(2)ok looking in law who's really nice
*assuming that you're thinking of marriage with the guy*
2007-05-07 04:14:28 · answer #1 · answered by nicky 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
In a perfect world, we would all be Ken and Barbie dolls. But, as you well know this world is far from perfect.
You have to ask yourself a few questions. Be honest with yourself, too.
I am thinking that you should ask yourself what is really important to you? Is a good friendship with someone you could be spending the rest of your life with worth more than what a few friends that you may only see once in a while, and for how long think?
Also, do you want to spend your life with a nice, kind sweet man, who will probably remain that way. Or, a good looking, but disrespectful man who may not remain so good looking?
I think it is perhaps a good thing that you are thinking about this now, rather than in a couple of years, no mater which way you decide. I have the feeling that you already know the answer, and please don't let others make up your mind on this one. Only you can decide for yourself.
Good luck.
Stevo.
2007-05-07 04:23:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you started out saying your friends and family has a problem with you dating this guy because the way he looks...Lets address this issue, apparently you didn't have a problem with his looks while he was pursuing you for months and was able to get you. Now that people who doesn't matter have voiced their opinions about him; you are starting to find the guy to be less appealing...So what the guy is not a super model. So what he's not what society wants him to be. The guy is treating you like a woman. He's not dogging you out, sleeping with you and your friends at the same time or any of things that SOME men do to degrade a woman's self esteem.
His looks are not a problem for you, listening to your friends and family is the problem and they will cost you to miss out on a good thing in this man if you continue to listen to them. Looks are only temporary. They will past in time, but a person's personality will last for a lifetime.
Follow your heart and give the guy a chance to grow with you
2007-05-07 04:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by plumprump26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it will grow into a problem for you. I have answered these kind of questions before and for those other people it was really a problem, because they absolutely hated the way their bf looked and were angry about it. You don't seem to have any issues about it. He sounds to me like a very attractive guy and an excellent catch. He's a kind, decent and sweet man, generous and from a good family. He loves you and treats you well and with respect. Girl, you have won the lottery! What if his looks don't match up to the shallow expectations of others! Guys get better with age, they really do. Good luck with that wonderful beau of yours.
2007-05-07 04:33:10 · answer #4 · answered by suki's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over the looks part. It's all about how he treats you. If a man knows how to treat a woman than that should be what matters. I wasn't too attracted to my man at first either but he was very persistent and treated me better than any man i had been with. Once I realized that I liked him I figured I better grab him up before another woman realized what a treasure he was. (I do get alot of envy from girlfriends that know us, they always say how lucky i am to find a man like mine) I already know this though. If he treats you with respect and you can give him the same, then don't worry what other people say. If you can't stop worrying about the looks then maybe you should move on before you hurt this man too much.
2007-05-07 04:28:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie looks should never come into play when falling in love. If he treats you well doesn't hit and takes CARE of your emotional need, you need to stay put. Other people should not be considered when you find a partner that loves you for you. Beauty is only skin deep hun so go with your heart. Are you really being superficial or are other people making it seem that way. Thank the good Lord for your luck in finding a good man.
2007-05-07 04:21:19 · answer #6 · answered by lynapow 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks aren't important, in time looks can fade away or change, that doesn't mean that you'll love the person any less. If you feel you're too shallow right now to love someone for who they are and not for how they look then maybe you should let him go before you really hurt him.
Is he good to you, that's all that matters. Don't listen to what people say, they may have a better looking guy but he may treat them like crap, there's no happiness is just being with someone that looks good. If you want to continue to date guys that look good but only want you for sex then ahead but I suggest you grow up.
2007-05-07 04:16:53 · answer #7 · answered by geminig 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sound like to me you have learned alot in your relationships and dont realize it. First off you know what you dont want from your last relationships. Your are a person and not just someone to show off. And you have learned how to see the true beauty of another by looking beyond the outside. Dont worry if others dont think he is good looking enuff. If your heart is happy with him stay there. The rest of the people around you will see it too and if not so be it.
2007-05-07 04:23:02 · answer #8 · answered by mamaz1920 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it you being superficial or is your family and friends judging your boyfriend?
I had a college room mate whose best freind constantly ran down my room mates boyfriend cause he had acne and not the best looking crayon in the box.
I have no idea what happened to the best friend... by my room mates boyfriend, whom she married, turned out to be an award winning investigative journalist with many best selling books, even a movie or two made out of a couple of his books. And not so bad looking at all when all said and done.
Another friend was married to a pretty nice looking guy who treated her like crap. She divorced him and started dating a new guy that well to honest has sort of a goofy look too him. He treats her like a queen!
You appreciate who your boyfriend is for his kindness and sweetness. It's your friends and family who are being superficial.
2007-05-07 04:18:06 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's your family and friends who are being superficial, not you. From the sounds of it, you realize that this guy is really sweet and better than your other boyfriends, even if they all were more attractive than he was. I'd just keep pointing out to your family and friends what a wonderful guy your boyfriend is and reminding them that looks aren't all that important, and eventually they'll drop it. Congrats on finding such a nice guy.
2007-05-07 04:16:19 · answer #10 · answered by sarai_kristi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋