is it bad to get married at a young age?

Question

me and my boyfriend have been dating for over two years and we are very happy with our relationship. i mean of course we fight like any normal couple does but i know that i really want to be with this man for the rest of my life and he's told me that he wants to get married soon. we're still very young but i feel like i'm ready. i just hear so many bad things about young couples getting married that i don't want anything to go wrong and lose the man i love. i've told him that i want to be dating for at least five years before we become that commited but at that time i'll be 21. i'm already planning on moving in with him this upcoming summer, i know its a big step but i know i'm ready. any advice on my situation

i'm 18 now he's 19 and yes its ok with my parents for me to move out with him. by the time we've been together for five years i'll be 21

Answer 1

Getting married young is an excellent idea. Don't listen to people who tell you not to get married. They don't remember what is was like to really be in love.

Answer 2

Waiting is not going to do any harm, but rushing may. Certainly there are people who have married young who've gone on to have happy marriages, some of whom have already responded to you. And there are people who married young and regretted it. But what's the rush? Marriage isn't a finish line that you want to get to as fast as you can. Being married is not going to drasticly change your relationship for good or bad, especially if you're already going to move in together. If you wait and after a couple of years you still feel the same way, then you haven't lost anything and you have those extra years of certainty backing you up. If (and I do hope this isn't the case), one or the other of you feels differently after a few years, you'll still be going through a potentially difficult break-up, but you'll be spared a messy and possibly costly divorce and an unhappy first marriage.

You don't mention directly how old either of you are, so the legalities where you live may prevent you from getting married now anyways. There's also the issue of whether your families will approve of you getting married at a young age. You sound like you have realistic expectations for your relationship; you know that fighting is something even happy couples do. But waiting longer is unlikely to harm a healthy relationship, so give it a try.

Answer 3

Oh my... where do I begin?

When you turn twenty-five, you realize that you knew hardly anything about real life and yourself when you were eighteen. This is the reason why you should not get married young. You may very well feel in love with this person. However, the more you know about yourself the more of yourself you can give to the person you love. Think of marriage as a dining room table. Sitting down at the table now will be difficult. You both hardly have anything to bring to the table except what you've learned from your parents and school. But when you get into the working world or go to college, you meet so many new people from different walks of life, you learn about yourself, you get to deal with your -isms and you define your values how "you" have see and will continue to see the world. Now when you sit at the table both of you bring so much more and all of that stuff contribute to the foundation that will help to keep your marriage.

If you love him and he loves you, the ultimate act of love is to let each other grow into adults before making that life altering move toward the alter. The more you know about yourself, the more stable you are and better equipped to fight the battles of marriage. The only way to learn about yourself is to be with yourself, that is not married. Also, do not move in together until you are absolutely ready to get married; afer you get engaged. Think about it, you can be just as happy as boyfriend and girlfriend, sleeping over each others apartment or hanging out after work.

If you love him... let him go girl. If it's meant to be, he'll come back a man aand a better provider and if not you'll have a life long friend.

Answer 4

So you're 18 now? That is young, especially for a man. It is not impossible, but the statistics are against you. So are the statistics on shacking up before marriage. People always give the excuse that they shack up in order to get to know one another. It is never the same as getting married because both know that by shacking up they can at any time leave the relationship. If you do attempt in beating the odds, then get married and make it work. You've been dating for two years and if you are mature enough, this should be enough time to know the likes and dislikes of the other person and whether it is something you would want and accept.

Answer 5

Well my dear it seems like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. You are doing this in the exact way that you should. Living with someone first really does let you know if you are ready or not to be married to someone. Dating is one thing, living with someone and being married to them is another thing all together.
Before even moving in, I would concentrate on how much the bills are and setting up a budget and lay down ground rules on time with friends and so on and so forth.
Money and friends are about the two main factors in many divorces, especially with young people. I would say that you would be better off waiting to get married until you are 22 or 23, just to get the whole bar scene out of the way first.
Good Luck and take things one step at a time!

Answer 6

i got married in 2005 at 19. I had been in a relationship with him since 2001 at 15. I can say it was the best thing i have ever done. Knowing each day when I come home the man I love will be there is the best feeling. I will say tho we waited 2 yrs before we decided to try for kids, so we could be stable in our marriage!

Answer 7

Ok, 21 minus 5 means you are 16?

Way too young to be moving in with a boyfriend. Way too young to be getting married.

Sweetheart you have lots of time to get married. If it's meant to be it will be. I was 19 when I got married and to be honest I wish I had waited.

Answer 8

Having kids at a young age

Answer 9

From my calculations you are 16 yrs old. Honestly honey if I were in your shoes I would wait, getting married if a life long total commitment, and you still have so much of the world to see. When I was 16 marriage was the last thing on my mind. You need to concentrate on your education and have some fun.

Answer 10

It isn't bad to get married young but many young people don't give it enough thought. It's good you are moving in first. Hopefully you aren’t getting married for reason like you are having or have a child, or you think marriage will make things better or your relationship will be stronger. I say give it 2 more years before you decide to get married.

Answer 11

Well, if I read you correctly you're 16 now, so it's not noly bad to get married, it's also illegal.
Second, even if you think he's the one and you'll never love someone else, I swear you that things can change very quickly at your age. What is wrong with waiting a bit more? If you get married in a few years, that will mean you're still in love and that will be cool. If you marry to soon and then realize it was a mistake, it will be a completely different matter...