He said something the other night about "falling in love" by morning. I think he may be falling in love with me. What should I do. I'm sorry but i am not gonna stop seeing this guy. I like him alot and also may be falling in love but i'm not gonna leave my husband. What should I do. Please don't go into telling me this is wrong and all that . I know it is but i can't help how i feel.
2007-05-07 03:53:48 · 55 answers · asked by bored 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Come on everybody, don't be harsh on her. So you wanna stay with your husband and be with this other guy. Ask yourself what is it that you want from him. It sounds like you wanna be intimate with him and that's it. No one would tell you he had an affair that ended up all fine. There'll be tears, pain, if your husband finds out he'll never trust you again but what is worst is that you'll hate yourself for that. You won't be able to look your husband in the eyes, you won't be able to throw yourself in his arms. You know what? Guys enjoy the feeling of not having to be commited, it's a very easy relationship for them. I am not gonna ask you to think of this guy's feelings towards you or your husbands heart that might break, just think of how you're gonna feel when this guy will dump you.
2007-05-07 04:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by Noona 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am married and have been for years and yes things can get tough and there are times when people feel this way. Let me also say that this is not Love but infatuation, I know you feel this way but after some time this feeling will go away and all that will be left is the shame and regret that you will feel for what you have done. I don't know you or your husband, and maybe you should leave him, but if you do it this way you are only going to hurt yourself in the long run. What you should do is up to you, though I would end this and if you leave your husband and you still feel this way and it is genuine for you and him it will work out later anyway. I guess all I'm saying is that you should think this through and no how you feel right now you will regret it later, not just for cheating which sounds as if its already happened but for the lying and everything else that goes with that.
2007-05-07 04:06:25 · answer #2 · answered by magician679 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking for advise, when it's clear, you've already made up your mind? Nothing good can come of this. While you're out with this guy what is your husband doing? What if he's found someone else to occupy his time while you're out "falling in love"? I know it feels nice to know that someone else desires you other than your husband but you have to take a step back and reevaluate the situation. What if you husband finds out and decides to leave you? What will you do then? I think you should cut things off with this other guy and work on the relationship that you have with your husband since you don't want to leave him. You need to do something before someone really gets hurt.
2007-05-07 04:25:20 · answer #3 · answered by evadiva 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok...youve already answered your own question: you said you're not going to leave this guy..and you're also not going to leave your husband. So either you come clean with both of them (which I doubt will give you the choice you wanted listed above)..or you keep it a secret (which will eat away at you).
If you are falling for the guy you are having an affair with and you've been seeing him for a while..it is only fair you tell your husband what is going on and not let the poor guy just go on thinking everything is normal. You will eventually resent your husband and just get irritated with him because you feel guilty all the time if you just keep things a secret. You have to pick one! you cant help how you feel..and it will hurt...but many people have gone through this...as far as im concerned..your marriage is over if you love this other guy. it mustve been if you decided to sleep with him and see him to begin with.
2007-05-07 03:59:55 · answer #4 · answered by D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been in the exact same position, I was the other guy and i was seeing a woman who was married but still with him only due to the kids. She didn't have the courage to leave him but we eventually fell in love with me willing to take on her 2 kids and be with her. She was a wonderful woman who wasn't being appreciated by her husband (suspected that he was closet gay). I eventually broke it off and moved away.
I think you already know where it's going to lead, his feelings will get in the way of the 'fun' you are having right now and your husband may find out. Relationships like this always end in pain, usually worse for the guy. You can simply walk back to your married life and forget all about him.
What is it you see in this guy that your husband doesn't give you? Be careful.
2007-05-07 04:07:31 · answer #5 · answered by darkness_returns 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah....the excitement of a new relationship...yes they are always wonderful and so hot and you just feel you're in a constant state of euphoria...but i have to be completely honest with you...that's how it ALWAYS is. I hate to tell you this but relationships that happen outside of a marriage have an extremely low rate of working out or even making you as happy as you think its making you now.
Stuff like this usually turns out scary and people end up having huge regrets that they can't take back. I know you don't want to stop seeing this guy because it all feels so good, but it is an almost guaranteed shot that your husband will find out and life will be unbearable...euphoria is always short lived. Double lives do that to people.
You already know what the wise thing to do is...doing the opposite is just the opposite...being foolish.
2007-05-07 04:03:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rarely in any of our short lives is one blessed with the fortune to meet someone who loves, understands and accepts us with all our faults or marry someone who meets all our physical and emotional needs. Those who refuse to compromise live alone by choice or circumstance and those who settle do so meanly for the wrong reasons beauty, convenience, fear, obligation, wealth things that are often too cheap to withstand the test of time. Clearly, there is something lacking in your relationship with your husband which you should address and try to fix together before seeking it outside your marriage. If that fails you can still go your separate ways without the baggage of an extramarital affair. Seriously, what do you have to lose at this point if you are already entertaining the idea of cheating on your husband?
2007-05-07 06:04:35 · answer #7 · answered by benjamin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should examine by reliving in your mind the reason you married your husband in the first place. Since you brought God up, also think about how He is feeling about you doing all this when you vowed before God to love honor cherish and obey your husband for as long as you live.You don't want any negative feedback then i suggest this was not question you put on line.if you say you know it is wrong then stop doing it. i once read an Ann Landers column with a similar thing to this. Her advise was this-What IS good will eventually feel good.What merely FEELS GOOD will eventually feel bad!Are you thinking about the fact that Every girl that guy has slept with is sleeping with you ever time he's making you feel good. your husband is being forced to sleep with them too. I suggest you open your eyes. this man has a good line. he is not falling in love by morning.he's telling you what you want to hear. Your poor husband is eventually going to find out.
and what will happen then? think of it. do you really love your husband?i doubt it or you'd never betray him. You won't leave him so he can go on with his life and maybe find someone else worthy of his love but you'll just cheat on him and make yourself feel good.Not to mention risking giving him hiv. Shame on you for being so selfish.And the man who makes you feel good. Does he know you won't leave your huband?Probably he does and that's great for him because he can feed you whatever you want to hear and never have to commit. and still have the perks .think about your family.do they know your seeing this guy.if not why not. if you don't want anyone to know it's because you know what your doing is wrong and are ashamed of what you are doing. i suggest you break it off withmr feel good and try to find and rekindle the things that your husband does to make you feel good.and cherish that or divorce him and see if mr feel good will be as good a husband.You also say "I'm sorry " well if you are truly sorry you don't continue doing what you apologize for.i will pray for you.
2007-05-07 04:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by tigercub1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really feels good to have two people loving you, doesn't it? Eventually, you are going to have to get off your high horse. You have to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about these 2 men. You are doing nothing but hurting both of them by continuing like this. You made a vow to your husband, which you are breaking, and the guy you are seeing is eventually going to want you all to himself. So you have to make a choice. It is that simple. If you cannot, then you really don't know what true love is and you should rethink getting married. Some people just should not be married, and it looks like you are one of them.
2007-05-07 04:01:51 · answer #9 · answered by realisminlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will not lecture you about how horrible your actions are (though I could). I will just lay out the possible scenarios for you.
Your refusal to stop seeing him and your refusal to leave your husband leaves you with absolutely no options here. If this guy falls in love with you, you will end up hurting him horribly by not leaving your husband. He will want to spend all of his time with you, which he will never be able to do because you have to hide your relationship with him from your husband. He will want to tell his friends and family about you, he will want to be seen in public with you...all things that he can't do. Eventually, he may get tired of the games and leave you (even if he does love you).
If you fall in love with this guy too, you will be hurt too...being pulled between two guys that you love. The stress of loving two men and having to hide it would be horrendous.
If your husband finds out, he will be devastated. Even if he doesn't find out, your marriage is suffering anyway. You are not fully invested in the marriage and it will not be able to flourish into what it was meant to be.
I hope I didn't come across as too preachy. I just wish you luck in deciding what you are going to do.
2007-05-07 04:07:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋