My husbands son, who is living with us called his mother in California and asked her to move out here to Oklahoma to take care of his son. She devorced her husband of several years and packed every thing she owned into a uhaul and moved here. The son lived with us, so now, she lives with us. My husband and I have moved out of the house, and into our motor home in the back yard, so she could have the house with her kids. I have no idea what to do about this situation. What do you think? Now she wants my daughter to call her mom number 2. I don't think so. I am having a hard time with this, but trying to make it work for her kids.
2007-05-06 23:49:24 · 23 answers · asked by Janet R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My husbands son, who is living with us called his mother in California and asked her to move out here to Oklahoma to take care of his son. She devorced her husband of several years and packed every thing she owned into a uhaul and moved here. The son lived with us, so now, she lives with us. My husband and I have moved out of the house, and into our motor home in the back yard, so she could have the house with her kids. I have no idea what to do about this situation. What do you think? Now she wants my daughter to call her mom number 2. I don't think so. I am having a hard time with this, but trying to make it work for her kids. My husband wants me to be comfortable. I know that it is hard for him as well. I just don't want to be the one who says this is not working, however that is almost to the point where I am. The house is in my husband and my name, so we can't just give it to them, but they are paying the bills. My lease is up in October, and then, I am out of there.
2007-05-07 01:08:45 · update #1
Well you and your husband must be a wonderful people, if you want to take care of those children that way. You even moved into your backyard for them. You will get it all back in your future.
Regardless, you should be having a hard time with this. This ex can't be this dependant on you. She should know that it's only for the children and she should also know that she can't stay too long. She has to get a job and support herself somewhere else. She has to get her own life. You want to take care of the children, not her.
2007-05-07 00:08:23 · answer #1 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes the situation is unusual, but I think the issue is more that it is not okay to you. I think you should talk to your husband about it to start with if you are uncomfortable with what is going on. It is your house and family life too, but it is his son and ex, so he should take action on the family's behalf, and together everyone can work out a good solution that enables this extended family of yours to look after each other, but in a more balanced way. I commend you for being so accepting of your husband's family. A lot of wives would not be very tolerant at all. If you do get on, doing something about it now might prevent things from getting too tense and resentment to surface that is very hard to undo. Good luck.
2007-05-07 00:08:59 · answer #2 · answered by Max 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I wouldn't stand for it. Why does she have the house and your husband have the trailer? Shouldn't it be the other way around? There is no reason why she can't stay in the trailer and the kids could see her there.
The son should have moved to California to be with his mother if he wanted to be close to her. He could then visit his father.
I feel for you dear, especially the part about her divorcing him. Maybe there are some unresolved feelings between them, at least on his part, since she abandoned him and not the other way around.
Sit him down and explain to your husband how you feel about this. If you don't get reassurance, then maybe you should get a lawyer.
Exes are exes for a reason, once a relationship has ended, there is no reason for an ex-wife or ex-husband to live with their prior spouse once they have entered into a new relationship.
And in regard to your daughter calling her Mom2, like you said, um...I don't think so. There is absolutely no reason for it.
Good luck to you my dear!
Karen
2007-05-07 00:33:46 · answer #3 · answered by Sr. Mary Holywater 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time for your husband to start working this situation out before it becomes a serious battle, and the kids get caught up in it. Talk to him. Tell him that either she moves or the two of you and your child move. If she is living in the house and you move, you will not have to pay her house note, but your husband will have to pay child support. There may be some financial struggles ahead, but it may be necessary to save your marriage.
By the way, tell her that you would prefer if her daughter called her Miss_____, and her children to call you Miss_______, if it bothers you.
2007-05-07 00:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is fair on you, as your husbands ex is living with you. Are you close with her? I guess it depends but her duaghter should not call you Mom Number 2 that would completely confuse it. I would say yes to the idea if you were realted in someway like step mom but u have no relation just ex, and that doesnt really count. To move out of you own home and give it to someone you hardly know isnt very fair she should live in the motor home not you, tis your house. I think that she should find her own home and move out. She is like um...Stealing your house from you in a way.
Hope i have helped. Sorry if i havent!
2007-05-07 00:03:02 · answer #5 · answered by retrolovee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi, janet. i can imagine ur situation now. first of all, you should ask ur husband what is he going to do about this. it is unfair to ask you to handle this situation alone as she is his ex-wife and at the same time you are trying to be nice to ur stepson and not to offend anybody.
Your husband should stand up and say something. either you guys move to other place and let them stay there or if you ar willing to share a house with his ex.
even if you are will to do so, again it will depends on his ex-wife whether she is willing to live amicably eith you. well this question only you know, though.
Well the above just my opinion base on your question post which i do not take into any consideration that the relationship of ur husband and his ex-wife and sons ..
anyway i still think that you shouldnt be in such a situation as it is really unfair for you.
hope you can settle this issue and all the best
2007-05-07 00:00:58 · answer #6 · answered by c k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is wrong. Firstly if the son desperately needs to live with his mother he should move to her. You and your husband should not be kicked out of your own home so this woman can see her children, she should at least buy her own house. Your daughter should not call her mum because this woman seems to be setting a bad example. ruening her ex husbands life to be with her son.
I think you should talk to her and tell her you dont feel comfy with her living in your house and you think she should find her own house or even she live in the motor house...
2007-05-09 21:41:46 · answer #7 · answered by J... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stated which you do no longer have faith your husbands ex spouse. The question is do you have faith him? My husband has an ok dating together with his ex she calls and that they communicate. They have been mutually 28 years. as long as i comprehend i'm doing each and everything i can to maintain my husband satisfied, he ts no longer likely to bypass back to the only he divorced. perhaps you need to communicate overtly with him. in case you could not try this, perhaps you're no longer in a secure dating. Is there a threat you need to discover a closer place on your husband. living aside might nicely be very stressful in a marriage yet think of of each and every of the adult males and girls who're aside via fact one or the different are interior the provider. Love is the main powerful emotion there is and that i grew to become into introduced believing it could additionally conquer all. have faith in your self and have faith on your husband. talking is relatively significant, do no longer in basic terms think of the suggestions that could reason you undue tension and the mind's eye might reason lots of project sturdy success.
2016-10-30 13:13:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you doing???? Why didn't you park her in the back yard? tell her to find a home of her own and tell your husband to grow some balls. Why wasn't her kids living with her in the first place? I see trouble for your family big time I have done some pretty incredible things for the kids but that's going to dam far. Good luck your gonna need it.
2007-05-07 00:00:31 · answer #9 · answered by deb m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How did she move in without your permission? The home was yours and it has now become hers, so make her pay the bills on it. If she can't, you shouldn't support her to the point you are living in a motor home in the back yard. I'd say you have gone way out of your way to accomodate her and your step-children, but it's time to get your life back!
2007-05-06 23:57:53 · answer #10 · answered by jingles 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋