My father wants us to merry like in the old days, the church and and the church venue, but we live in the 20's now. We went to a place with the most beautiful chapel and venue with the good price. The venue must be book this week or we lose the place. Every time my father talks about the wedding and saying we must be wed in the church or there will be no wedding and then it's war between my father and my financee. He saying that he is paying for everything but that is not true we tried to tell him that everyone is helping us but he won't listen. My financee said he is not going to hold his mouth and he is going to tell my father excactly what he thinks of his attitude and if that happens I can not describe what will happen then, me and my mom are trying to keep the peace but I don't know for how long we can do that. The wedding is next year but the way he is going you can say he thinks it's tommorow. I love both of them very munch, but what happens if I must choose.
2007-05-06 23:03:28 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
To answer (jen) we have tried talking to him and he refuse to listen to us, just telling me it's a waste of money. I must leave my fiancee family's out, because they love dancing,and if they want to dance after the wedding ceremony they must go to a club, and when I told this to my financee he was very upset. The big thing is we aslo have building plans, which we already paid for the registration. My father think we should leave the wedding for 2 years and then we can think about it again
2007-05-07 00:41:04 · update #1
I think you should take your father to the site where you want to get married and let him see it for himself. You need to be the one who speaks up and say something like "Dad, I appreciate your help financially, but I've always dreamed of a wedding like this. I'm marrying the love of my life and I want everything to be perfect." Remind him that this is a celebration of YOUR marriage and that this is how you wish to have it.
If there is a site coordinator at the venue, ask to set up an appointment with him/her and let your parents have a guided tour of the facility.
Another solution is to compromise. I know it is your wedding, but what if you get married in the church, and have the reception where you want to.
I wish you the best of luck, and Congratulations!
2007-05-07 02:50:42 · answer #1 · answered by terasa425 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
great idea with keeping the peace, your dad and your future husband are 2 of the most important men in your life, but here are two truths... 1. your dad is helping pay, so he does have a say in it, not the full decision however...2. it is your wedding and you only get one *well atleast one 1st wedding lol* you need to sit your dad down, just you and him, tell him that you have your heart set on that place, if you talk to him in an adult manner and tell him why it is so important to get married at your place, he will understand; he may need a little reminder that this is your wedding NOT HIS and all he should care about is your dreams coming true and your happiness, a wedding is about celebrating love and joy, though that gets lost in the planning sometimes...if he still doesnt budge, you are going to have to compromise, because honestly you won't be very happy on your wedding day if your dad doesnt show up or just tell him that you dont need his help, you can have a beautiful and afforable wedding with just a little extra hard work
2007-05-07 06:59:59 · answer #2 · answered by jen 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems to me that you both have a lot of growing up to do.
If he is footting the bill, it should be HIS rules. Your fiance needs to respect the fact that he is paying. If you don;t want your father's input and money, then do without, and have a wedding that YOU can afford on your own and pay it yourself so you can set your own rules.
Since it's a year away, both of you should get a job or a second job and have the wedding that you both want without anyone's opinion. That way, you can spend YOUR cash however you want, but it's quite disrecfecful and unconsiderate of you and your fiancee to tell a grown up men where to spen HIS hard earned cash.
Good luck
2007-05-07 09:30:54 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you are having a clergyman perform the wedding, your father has no reason to be angry. Tell your clergyman what is happening, and ask him to speak to your father.
2007-05-07 06:19:17 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as is said above, its your wedding.
Your Dad will come around eventually, you cant spend the rest of your life pleasing your parents, especially entering into your own marriage.
2007-05-07 07:06:15 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is your wedding. do what you and your fiance want. don't let your father threaten you with threats of money. book the place if you like it. then tell your father that it's your wedding, and ou don't NEED his money. then save up your own. the wedding IS next year....
2007-05-07 06:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋