I need help, a miracle...Im doing my best but im running out of steam. Any advice for me?

Question

My dad past away 2 years ago and i stayed by mom's side to help her. I also took care of my granny who is blind and paralysed.

Now I'm trying desperately to get my life back. I'm trying to re -enter the job market. I avent work in 2 years its pretty rough since I now have this huge hole in my resume.

I'm attempting to prepare for my TOEFL and GMAT and Im currently working part time.

The problem is I'm tired,wiped out. Im tired of being asked to do a million things by my mom. Plus i work and come home late towards midnight. Still when i get home no one takes care of granny I have to do it.

Im never in a calm state to study. Im always either angry, stressed, discouraged because im being either blaimed for something.
I tried telling my mom that i have things to do and that i need time for myself. She ignores me and just keeps talking about what she needs or whatever else. I have had it. I want out of this house and Im doing my best to make it happen.any words of advice?

Answer 1

You need to set aside some "me time" hours in the day. Discuss with your Mother. Tell her that between the hours of X-Y each day, you are "invisible" to her, unavailable, etc. Start reclaiming your life. And, when these hours are approaching, get out of the house, go to a coffee shop, McDonald's, anywhere you won't be disturbed.

But remember, God tells us we are to honor and obey our parents. Your words are verging on hatred and you should be careful about the feelings you are harboring.

Answer 2

Dear Friend;

you are doing your best to make what happen??--to run away or to cope better ??

Mom sounds like a leech (sorry) and u need professional help for Grannie

You need some time management skills for the household work and the studying
Best of luck in teaching English --

Maybe give some "free English lessons to a immigrant and they can pay u back by having the house cleaned or dinner prepared 3 nights a week

Put on your thinking cap --your a smart cookie --that's why people are always leaning on you!!

Be Blessed
and read the Gospel of John for some tips re; a miracle

Jon

Answer 3

You need a break, honey. You're too young to take on so much responsibility. Did your mum rely totally on your Dad to be so clueless now or is Granny your Dad's mum? Can you bring a friendly teacher or older friend home who can casually mention to your mum that your grades are slipping and ask whether you have enough time to study at home? Hopefully she gets the message. Life's so unfair sometimes, I know. Chin up, stop by a church if you're religious and just talk to God. Hey, and all the best.

Oh and btw, be honest about that hole in your resume and it shouldn't be a problem. I stopped working cos of an op and the interviewers seemed not to mind as long as they know I wasn't lying.

Answer 4

Your family is dumping on you. When and if you ever have children, then it will be your responsibility to sacrifice your life for them but until then, you're being robbed of your life. You definately have to get the heck out of that house as soon as possible. Then you can drop by and help out when your schedule allows it but only then. As far as getting back in the job market. You have to take a wack job for a while. Once you have a job, it's easy to get a better one. Your mom, like mine will take and take then turn on you when you can't give. Do not give your life to a person like that. In the end, they won't appreciate it after all you've done.

Answer 5

Dear Gina, sorry to hear bout your dad, and the current state of affairs at your home...i guess first thing you need is a strong friend, someone who'd stand by you as a pillar of strength, someone who'd help you heal the pain and bring hope back to your life.
I do not noe which location you are at, could have helped you out finding a job or helped you choose a career.
But my dear friend, have faith and keep ur head high...u'd not fail..if u could stable a family when your dad went..u can do anything...trust me..u CAN!! n u will.

Answer 6

get out of the house first, it seems like you are on your way out. No matter who or what, stay away from things that doesn't make you happy or bring you back to that sad part of your life that you are trying to get over, just be patient and do some yoga, meditate. You doing something about your life which is good so just keep on going and do some yoga it might help relieve some steam.

Answer 7

Please find a Caregivers group to attend. The meetings will help you tremendously and the support you need will be with them. Ask your doctor or any medical clinic when one meets in your area. They can advise you how to get out of the situation and how to cope. These groups are great. They understand what you're going through and it's a place where you can vent. I'll be praying for you and hope you find a group really quick.

Answer 8

first and foremost i am sorry that you are put in this tough situation.i feel bad for you that you are working and trying to get back on your feet while your mom ignores you..you know what why dont you actually have a nice chat face to face with your mom and still if your mom changes the subject or ignores you let out your steam.tell her that you understand that she needs you to help her but that now you have your own life and priorities and that you cannot always be depended upon since you are going thru a rough time.tell her how she makes you feel,how she does not lisen to you and how frustrationg it gets to take care of others and then yourself.if she still does not understand or she gets mad tell her that you are a daughter,dranddaughter,have a job,and if you have any siblings ask her why it has to be you to take all the responsability.also tell her that she can at least help you with your grandmother since she expects you to do everything.tell her that you are fed up and want to get out of that wacky house which makes you angry and frustrated..tell her tha you have a life of your own and that you are no longer 16 and that she cannot expect people to help her but rather she should help herself and others..tell her that her behavior and the environment around you is not suitable for what you are trying to achieve and that not everything revolves around her.if she gets mad so be it but hell you need to stand up to her and say that enough is enough and that you do not neet any more stress in your life than you already have.tell her that if she cannot say or appreciate what you do then maybe she should not say anything if all she says are neg.comments.if i were you i would hang in there..also try to do a study group with friends when you have time and to study because you do not give up if others are there for you to help.study hard and think of it as your way out of that nutjob house..also if you have siblings why not share the responsibility?look plz do not give up and i undestand tha times are rough..i had my grandmother who lives overseas had a stoke like 2-3 yrs ago and ui was attending a jr. collge and i had a bf and was working sometimes on the weekend or friday..my mom left to take care of my grandmother and flew overseas-romania,europe-for a good chunk of time and no matter what i had to be home at 3pm and wait for my brother because my dad was at work..i had to help my dad clean and i had to study and somehow find time to hang out with my bf and i also pulled A's and B's that semester with 16 or 17 credit hours..i felt that i gave everything up and i have a sister but she is attending UD @ Dallas-TX-and she could not help me and trust me there were times when my bf and i broke up and when i did have a lot of trouble with Trig and wanted to give up but i did not..what you need is a support system-talk with your friends and they can help you thru the roughest of times,go and see a school counselor if you can because i went and saw one this semester just to deal with school and stress and it is not what people make it to be w/ going to a "shrink"..also if you are determined enough or drive you can do whatever you set your mind to do..do not anyone stay in the way of what you want and what makes you happy even if you have to fight for it and you are tired and so find time to sit and study and make yourself study for your own sake

Answer 9

Your mother and your granny needed you, not only on material things but on moral as well as spiritual.

The best remedy is to take a domestic helper to help you in the household works and to attain to the needs of your mother and granny.
jtm

Answer 10

Breathe.

God wants you to tell Him what's going on. He can handle your anger, frustration, He can handle the fact that you're tired. My mom once told me that we all have "buckets" of courage, strength, motivation, faith, love, etc. And as humans, our buckets run empty at times. That's when we're most discouraged...thankfully, that's when God most wants to help. Just ask, my friend, and you shall receive. Someone in Huntington Beach, CA is about to say a prayer for you ;)