Any good clean jokes?

Answer 1

Deep within a forest a little turtle?

began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.

The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.

"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

Answer 2

This guy decides to become a Trappist monk. He's only allowed to speak once a year, and then only to the Abbot.

At the end of the first year, he goes before the Abbot who asks him if he has anything to say. "Food cold," he replies.

A year later, again he has his chance to speak. "Bed hard", he says.

At the end of the third year, the Abbot asks him again if he wants to say anything. "I don't really think I'm cut out for this life, after all" he says.

"I should think not," says the Abbot. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here!"

Answer 3

ya... "the yahoo answers team" only thing is there's nothing clean or funny about them..


okay.. here's one for you:

A man is in a mental institution, and after 5 years he can take a test to see if he can leave. They call him in and ask him to name his body parts. He says "finger, hand, wrist, knee....", but points to his elbow when he says "knee". He fails, and five years later he comes back again. He says "finger, wrist, elbow, shoulder, bellybutton....." but points to his nose, not his bellybutton. He fails again, and he also fails the next four tries. Finally after 30 years he comes in and says "finger, han d, wrist, elbow, shoulder, eye, nose, mouth." So they let him leave, but before he goes they ask how he did it this time. The man points to his head and says "I used my kidneys."

Answer 4

How does Ajax think the world will end?

Comet.

hey you said "clean" I made that up..lol. get it

Answer 5

a knight on a horse

He did NOT fell into the mud this time :)

Answer 6

not that i can think of

Answer 7

so a guy walks in to a bar......................owwwww