Is it possible to tell your kids you love them too often?

Question

Hear me out before you answer...

I know in society a lot of emphesis is put on letting your kids know you care, and there should be. But is there a point that you can make your kids weaker, or in need of constant approval or affection, by showering them with TOO much love?

I love my son to death, but I am a little concerned that if we tell him we love him 50 times a day, like we do (even when we are punishing him), he is going to end up being too needy in adult relationships when he gets older.

Any thoughts on this?

Answer 1

I don't see any danger in telling your child you love them , I tell my daughter that several times a day and especially when I discipline her. I think it makes them more secure at least it does
my daughter.
Just my opinion
Morgaine

Answer 2

I tell this to my children all of the time too. they are toddlers. I really want my kids to grow up with lots of self esteam, I was really cut down as a child an It really shows even in my adulthood, Im often looking for approval. I think that someone with high self esteam would be less needy because they know they are loved. I also have 2 teenagers, I still tell them I love them, just not as often anymore like I used to. I think they are pretty well adjusted. thats just my thoughts.

Answer 3

I'd say yes. I have a need for approval that I'd prefer not to. I'd say that part of it was a result of being raised in a household where my parents literally showered their children with affection all the time. You should show your kids that you care about them in other ways rather than just telling them. An example I'd give is that I can't remember any time when either of my parents defended me in front of other parents.

Answer 4

I've found myself wondering similar thoughts about praise. Of course I love my son's artwork, but let's be honest it's a bunch of scribbles and lines. I worry that if I always go over the top with praise, he'll get an unrealistic expectation of how the world will react to the same work. That's not to say that I dismiss his efforts, but I try to withhold the over the top reactions to his more mundane masterpieces.

But I can't help but tell him that I love him a million times a day.

Answer 5

No young lady it's just the reverse it's when we don't find the time to tell our children how much they mean to us that would become a tragedy because they would grow to lack love and therefore it's highly possible as early teens they will look for love in all the wrong places and things. I say tell them often, tell them at their rising up and on there laying down

Answer 6

No way, I really don't think you can tell them you love them too much. You need to also keep up with dicipline (TEACHING), but if you're keeping up with other important aspects of parenting, then you can never tell him enough. Our society unfortunately makes comforting & loving our kids unconditionally taboo, but it's the right thing to do, and actually will make him more secure as he gets older, not needy. Keep it up, you're great parents.

For Heather down below, I'm glad she's wondering about praise- I do feel praising your child can get out of hand (We all love our babies, but need to keep things in perspective). Praise needs to be more selective. But that's different than love.

Answer 7

Kids need to know you love them but they must know they should respect and listen to older people and the must have discipline. There is a difference between loving and kind of leaving them and not learning them basic discipline and respect for people, animals and property

Answer 8

I find it so easy to say and so do they when they mean it. We tell each other several times a day and I have also since the day they were born. Its the best thing to hear them walk by me in the kitchen and for no reason at all say "I love you mommy" as they run by me to cause more mischief.

Answer 9

No, you can't tell them too much. They may get sick of hearing it, but continue to do it often. I tell my kids i love them all the time, especially when they go off to school in the morning, or when my son gets in his car to go to work or out with friends.

Answer 10

You can never show you love your children too much. Him being too needy has nothing to do with whether or not you love him. It has to do with him never learning independence. Allow him to make his own choices (age appropriately) and be responsible for the consequences of his actions and he'll grow up fine.

Answer 11

I don't think you can ever tell them too much. They need to know your love is unconditional. You can discipline them and let them know you are unhappy with their behaviour but this is not conditional of your love. My son often asks with tears streaming down his face "You still love me don't you mum" my answer "I don't like what you did, but I love you always and forever"