This is an old one I heard from my Uncle-------I'm not creative enough to make on up myself.---------please tell me one you find amusing.
"If they took your brain--------------
and placed it on the cutting edge of
a razor-blade---------it would
look like a BB on a four-lane highway."
2007-05-06 18:22:22 · 6 answers · asked by EZMZ 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
How is a mexican and a cue ball alike?
The harder you hit it, the more english you get out of it.
Why aren't there any wetbacks on Star Trek?
They won't work in the future either!
What do you call a gang of wetbacks running down a hill?
Jailbreak!
Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags?
So wetbacks can window shop!
Why do wetbacks drive lowriders?
So they can drive while they pick strawberries.
What do you call a mexican getting baptised?
Bean dip!
What do you call a building full of wetbacks?
A jail!
What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan!
What do you call a ******* with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
How do you kill a mexican?
Throw a quarter off a cliff!
What do you get when you breed a black and a mexican?
A thief who's too lazy to steal!
Why don't mexicans have barbecues?
The beans keep falling through the grill!
What did the ******* say when his house fell on him?
Get off me holmes!!
How do you find the richest ******* in town?
Drop a penny, whoever catches it is the richest ****!
Why do mexicans eat tamales on christmas?
So they'll have something to unwrap!
Why were there only 40,000 mexicans at the Alamo?
They only have two cars!
How do you start a mexican parade?
Roll a quarter down the street!
A mexican and a ni**er are riding in car . . who's driving?
A cop!
How do you hide money from a mexican?
Hide it under a bar of soap!
Why is there no mexican olympic team?
All the wetbacks who can run, jump or swim are in the U.S.!
What is a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed!
Why do mexicans like tiny steering wheels?
It make it easier to drive while handcuffed!
What do you call a ******* with too much hair jell?
A jellybean!
How do you save a drowning *******?
You don't know, GOOD!
What do get when you cross a ******* and a ****?
A car thief who can't drive
What do you call a Mexican with long hair?
An Indian!
Why do Hispanic women hate Swans?
Because they're White, They're Beautiful, and They usually know who
the fathers of their children are!
Why don't ******* wemon wear their panties to the BBQs?
To keep the flies off the tacos
Why do ******* men grow mustaches?
Because it reminds them of their mothers.
How did the ******* girl know when her mother was having her period?
She could taste the blood on her brothers dick.
Why do wetbacks drive hydrolic lift lowriders?
So in the spring they can pick lettuce and in the fall they can pick
apples.
How long does it take a ******* to take a sh*t?
9 months
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
******* in the road?
There's skid marks in front of the dog.
Why do wetbacks smell so bad?
so blind people can hate them too.
What's the best way to stop a drowning *******?
Take your boot off the back of his head
What do you call 50 wetbacks in prison?
A family reunion.
Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?
Me neither.
What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopuss?
I don't know but it could pick lettuce good.
What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?
Steal a chicken
How do you stop a mexican from robbing your house?
Put up a help-wanted sign
What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican?
A bench can support a family
What is it called when a Mexican is taking a shower?
A miracle.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?
He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?
Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?
Why are Mexicans so short?
When they're young, their parents say, "When you get bigger you have
to get a good job."
How do you get 50 Mexicans is a phone booth?
Throw food stamps in it.
2007-05-06 22:43:37 · answer #1 · answered by xenypoo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'll give you a handful, since there are too many to mention:
1.) Are you seabound, because it seems you're travelling on the SS confusion.
2.) Are you driving with your eyes open, or are you using the force?
3.) Great breakup line: You're so X you're Y.
4.) You could take all the knowledge you have and fit it on the pin of a needle and still have room leftover.
5.) Paris Hilton provies you don't have to be poor to be white trash.
6.) Your breath smells so bad people look forward to your farts.
7.) You're so fat, you look like you're eating for two-........... Hundred!
8.) Who mows your nose hairs?
9.) You squeeze a quarter so tight that the eagle screams!
10.) She's on the thirty day diet and so far all she's lost are fifteen days!
I hope you enjoyed some of these.
2007-05-07 07:57:34 · answer #2 · answered by Patriotic Man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If somebody is criticizing the way I'm doing something, I'll say "Hey, I don't go to your job and tell you how to mop the floors, do I?"
or I'll pick something obscure about them and criticize it, like "Okay... nice shorts, by the way." It's a cheap shot, but if all else fails, at least make them feel a little self-concious.
For an old man being called "Grandpa":
"I'm not your grandpa, I'm your dad, just ask your mom."
2007-05-07 01:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's some I've heard during my travels in the Army.
Aren't you supposed to be at the cornfield to give the scarecrow a lunchbreak?
Just 'cause your hair's greasy doesn't mean you're slick.
Just 'cause your heads pointed it doesn't mean you're sharp.
I don't engage in a battle of wits against someone that's unarmed.
Get away from me. Your nearness is making me dumber.
You ever hear of this new invention they call soap?
Dang, you're teeth is so yellow I thought you just got done eating corn.
Blah, blah, blah, lol.
2007-05-07 01:33:06 · answer #4 · answered by Pontius 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've been called worse by better.
2007-05-07 01:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by Phartzalot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
...so your dads an A- hole too...? ....did you fall on your head or have you always been like that...? ...I got you out numbered, one to one... !
2007-05-07 01:26:20 · answer #6 · answered by rougerocker 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋