My wedding is next week and so is mothers day. I did not do this on purpose! For the last 2 months my mum has been obsessed with mothers day. My partner and I lost our jobs a month ago and didn't recieve $2311 worth of wages owed. We have been struggling to pay the rest of the wedding. My mum has payed for the reception and had no more cash to give (not that I would ask). The wedding is on a tuesday and we are going up on the monday. I'm having to sell my gold necklace to pay for the accomodation for the monday. Mum is calling me selfish that I am not coming on the sunday (the day they arrive) to spend mothers day with her. She is making all kinds of requests(some would say demands) of what she wants from me even though she knows we are really battling.. I've tried asking her to give me a break this year but she just gets angry and has a go at me about how much she's done for me over the years and she's paying for some of the wedding... What on earth can I do?
2007-05-06 17:10:43 · 10 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just so you know, the date chosen was the day we met and a year later, the day he asked me to marry him. We had no control over that and we decided on that date for the wedding. Also what my mother wants is diamond earrings worth over $2000 and a juicy couture tracksuit and a gucci handbag...
2007-05-06 17:36:57 · update #1
If you can't afford it then you really can't afford it. I'm not sure where the money is supposed to come from. I know your mother wouldn't want you to call off the wedding to buy her a gift so I'd try talking to her one more time and promising that you owe her a wonderful gift that you will gladly provide as soon as you are working again. Or you can do what I used to when money was funny around a birthday or holiday---give the recipient a coupon book of things I could do for them over the next year. Usually stuff that I wouldn't willingly do otherwise but everyone always ran through those coupons.
2007-05-06 17:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I won't even touch the Mother's Day wedding, you have a right to get married whenever you want to get married, that's your business, and no one else's.
It sounds like your mother is being extremely unreasonable. Since when are mother's allowed to "request" gifts for Mother's Day? Not that they don't deserve all the gifts in the world, but most mother's I know, my own mom included are happy with the "it's the thought that counts" kind of presents that their kids (both little kids and grown kids) come up with. Whether it's a bouquet of flowers, a store bought card, a home made project they can't identify, a stuffed animal, a day of no housework, or hugs and kisses, most moms are happy with what they are given. Don't let your mother pressure you into buying her something that you cannot afford. Buy her a card, or make her a card, and maybe pick up a bouquet of flowers, or use an extra bouquet that you might have, and call it a year, if she calls you ungrateful, that's her business. But if your mom is basing how much you love her on what you buy her, then it sounds like she truly does not have a grip on what being a mother is all about.
2007-05-06 21:59:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm planning my wedding too, so I understand how important and exciting your wedding is. Even though this might not be what you want to hear, I think that it would be best if you postponed your wedding. You did say that both you and your partner lost your jobs. I dont think its the brightest idea to start your married life unemployed. Talk to your vendors and see if the can reschedule you. I think this might be the best solution. About your mother. It's retarded. Whatever you decide to get her is completely up to you. That's why its called a GIFT. She should understand how difficult all this is on you. And if she doesn't then forgive her, her daughter is getting married after all, and she just like you is stressing.
2007-05-06 18:09:15 · answer #3 · answered by pnkldybg2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no expert on wedding dilemas or mothers day for that matter, but what I am for sure is a parent of early 20's girls. As far as this parent can tell, your mother is being totally unreasonable. It is obvious that you are struggling to make ends meet and yet she is playing the guilt card over something like mothers day? The only thing that I might wonder however, is this. If you are in such dire financial circumstances, both you and your intended, is it wise to forge ahead with the wedding plan? Unless of course you have even greater losses ahead if you postpone. (deposits and such) If this is the case then I would advise to move ahead as planned and mother will just have to get over it. I am amazed at the number of adults we have in this world and so few grown ups! Good Luck
2007-05-06 17:37:21 · answer #4 · answered by enlightened1 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your mother is being extremely selfish. My mom would never do that, in fact I have been on medical leave for 2 years and only receiving about 40% of my normal salary and everytime I spend any money on her she gets a little frustrated cuz she knows im struggling. Mother's Day is supossed to be about pampering and spending time with your mother, a day for her to relax. It is all the businesses that made it so commercial cuz they found another way to make a buck.
2007-05-06 18:01:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like mom is only concerned about gifts. give her a card with a note in it telling her how much you appreciate her. tell her this year you are very broke and can't possibly spend $2000 on stuff. by the way who expects gifts that expensive!?
tell her also in the note that you would love to take her out for a nice lunch or something like that.
2007-05-07 02:32:58 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is being selfish! I'm sorry, I am a mom and if my son and his fiance were in the same situation I would rather spend time with them at their wedding. That would be the greatest mother's day gift to me to see my son happy.
2007-05-06 18:13:33 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just go see here on Sunday for a short time - take her a nice card and maybe bake a cake for her.
2007-05-07 01:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is really a problem to both of you . go to your mother and told her the whold programme will happen accordingly with the mother, ask your mother to come yo you on that day ,she also wish you and you will pay homage, after all you are the child and she is you mother, so the whole thing will be adjusted by understandintg, don't be sorry . all the occasions are joyful and will overcum, best wishes.
2007-05-06 17:25:36 · answer #9 · answered by Rim 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Maybe you could borrow from a friend or family member for the 1 night accommodations.
I am confused how you could not be getting married on Mother's day on purpose. It is not only on the calender but it is the same Sunday every year.
I agree hat someone is being selfish but I am afraid that it is you not your Mother.
Good luck & remember Mother's have long memories.
2007-05-06 17:31:45 · answer #10 · answered by Wolfpacker 6 · 1⤊ 6⤋