This is the first time I have ever written. My boyfriend of 3 years said he needed a break from me and space...because i cheated on him (but not all the way) two years ago. It seemed like he had forgiven me...and now he says it feels like it happened yesterday because he sees girls around him doing the same thing to his close friends. We have been through a lot because we are in a long distance relationship and away at different universities.
I need advice please. He wont speak to me or anything. Will he ever get over it? And how can I possibly make things better? I want to fix things before he comes back for the summer in two weeks.
2007-05-06 15:21:11 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the same thing happened to me, except my gf actuall had sex wit a nother dude about a year ago. and ill tell u wat, it hurts, and sumtimes wen i see stuff like that happenin, it brings the memories rite back, as if it jus happened. but i find ways to get ova it, jus leae him little reminders of how much he means to u, and how much u r in luve wit him (if u r). give him a lil time, but stay on top of him, act as if everything is alrite between u guys, even tho it may not be. trust me, a lil time heals everything. i hope it works out for u, i realy do. god bless. ill pray for u hunnie. bye bye
2007-05-06 15:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by lexx3050 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time and space in a relationship is not only necessary but adviseable sometimes in a situation like this. You've been together for 3 years and something has changed in your relationship if you cheated and he needs space. trying to remain close after infidelity is not realistic because he's hurt and you are clearly confused. while apart maybe he can deal with the cheating and you can figure out why you even went there to begin with. but so you both don't feel completely at odds or over, agree to check in from time to time if only to talk about things in a more open environment. you have nothing to lose that you haven't already risked. use this time to get a grip and understanding. worst thing that can happen is if you have open communication, you may end up with a lover that is also a friend.
2007-05-06 15:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one to call. Getting cheated on is like getting shot by a 12 gauge shotgun at close range right thru the heart. He's obviously still hurt by it and seeing his friends going thru the same thing is probably making him think twice about dating you again. I'd give him his space and just talk to him after a while, then see how things go from there. Once you've broken someone's trust, it's very hard to gain it back. He may forgive you, but he surely will never forget. Just think about what is best for you and him. Maybe it would be best if you just went on with your life and let him do the same.
2007-05-06 15:26:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a very hard thing to regain, so just give him time and his space. It's really hard on him because you two go to different colleges and he knows you have cheated on him once before and it can very easily happen again. Especially since he isn't around you all the time and he sees his friends being treated the same way he was and that is a constant reminder.
You can't force him to forgive you and move on. He will forgive you when he is ready, just give him the space that he needs.
2007-05-06 15:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go back in time and not cheat on him. Oh, right, you can't do that.
Live and learn. Move on and then, while you are single, think about how it feels to be cheated on.
My wife cheated on me and it was never the same. Cheating is a horrible thing to do and "not all the way" means jack. cheating is as much an emotional thing as a physical and it's a rotten thing to do.
Respect the person, leave him in peace and make sure your next relationship, you add a bit more respect.
Welcome to yahoo answers though
2007-05-06 15:29:03 · answer #5 · answered by brettj666 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What? He waited two years to decide that he needed space because you cheated? He's using that as an excuse because he wanted out of the relationship. You need to move on.
2007-05-06 15:28:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak to him face-to-face about this issue.
Two years ago, you cheated on him. TWO YEARS AGO. Say that out loud. It's been two years; 730 days; 17520 hours; and he still hasn't gotten over it? To me, that sounds pretty stuck up and selfish. He really needs to get a life and get over it.
Sure, he won't forget...we always tend to remember the negative things that happen in our life as if it really did occur yesterday. But he obviously has trust issues and you need to work it out with him. Talk to him in person when you guys do meet. Tell him that yes, it was a stupid mistake, but we all make them - no one is perfect and it's what makes us human. If he still remains stubborn, it just shows that he's way too insecure or way to selfish/self-absorbed to forgive you and you need to move on and forget about him.
2007-05-06 15:32:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a guys point of view............mandy a............first of all you were wrong in doing what you did...if he wasn't the one for you then you should have been honest with him and told him...secondly let me say this about forgiveness...do you really know how to forgive? does he? let me show you something here...first you have to want to forgive another person for a wrong they have done...but forgiveness comes from the heart not the mouth...if your heart tells you , you want to do this then it will be genuine...ask him to look you straight in the eyes and tell you he forgives you...the eyes never lie...then listen to the tone he uses...genuine he does...quick and abrupt he will never forget...this is where most people cant really forgive...because they cant forget...they must keep this over you forever it seems...in order to forgive you must take the transgression that was done against you and throw it to the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean , where it will never surface...ever...hun if he want to keep this over you in a long distance relationship, then my best guess is he is seeing someone else and he is using this episode to justify it...sweety, my advise is to move on and dont look back...your still young yet, and remember this , learn by your mistakes and dont let it happen again...be safe...be kind...and i wish you love...
2007-05-06 15:42:26 · answer #8 · answered by hystericaly_kinky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
obviously he is using this as an excuse to break up with u. he may have met someone new and ur indiscretion is the reason why. however i think this is a lame excuse since it was 2 years ago. i would move on cuz this is too much drama. find a nice guy who loves u for u.
2007-05-06 15:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by david w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. never. don't believe anyone who says he will. he will use it to torture you into submission and to get whatever he wants. you'll jump through hoop after hoop in the hopes of going back to where you were- which you know can never happen. my best advice to you is to move on. and if you ever slip up again- take it to your grave- NEVER TELL. you'll regret not listening but you won't make the same mistake a second time if you allow yourself to persue this. just remember that miss kim tried to warn you.
2007-05-06 15:29:54 · answer #10 · answered by kimm24seven 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋